Going to see the Falcons and Cowboys…he is stoked!
I guess I would be hesitant to take my kids to a pro football game. It is not the family friendly environment of a baseball game. More like a boxing match.
You’ve obviously never sat in the bleachers of Yankee Stadium or Fenway Park during a Yankee/Red Sox game. Family Friendly…lol.
Yeah but now that we signed Matsuzaka those “family friendly” cheers might mean something…
Have a good time. That could be a good game to go to. Are you a Cowboys or Falcons fan? More importantly, which is your son?
Bernie
Ah, I remember my first Cowboys game like it was yesterday. Vet stadium, Philadelphia. Cowboy-hating epicenter of the world.
There are a few things the lad should know before gameday.
First and most importantly, the proper greeting for the 'boys as they exit the tunnel is a shower of batteries raining down from above. C-cell work well, but the larger D size have game-changing potential. Plus they feel like a hand grenade when you launch them. Smaller batteries may be used as well; I suggest taping 5 or 6 AA or AAA batteries together to create a baseball-sized welcome ball. If your boy is younger, fewer batteries may be taped together to fit his hand more appropriately.
Next, there’s the snowball or iceball. In a southern dome, these may be harder to come by, but are also part of the fanfare required for a proper greeting. You can make your own iceballs in the freezer (crushed ice carefully shaped into a ball), wrap them in aluminum foil & stowe them in your coat for the ceremony. Just remember to unwrap the foil before tossing, as it will diminish the explosion when it hits the helmet & prevent the ice shrapnel from properly spreading to the turf, which has a secondary benefit of creating more hazardous slippery conditions for the remaining Cowboys who will be passing by. This can also have the effect of slowing them down as they exit the tunnel, making them easier targets for other iceballs, batteries and beer showers. Other objects may be thrown as well, but the battery-iceball combo has historically been proven most effective. (FYI, you can create a battery-centered iceball by wrapping a D cell in scraps of white cotton t-shirt, soaking in water & placing in the freezer.)
Finally, don’t forget to save half of your weaponry for the tunnel exit after the game. If the planets aligned and all that is right in the world suddenly turns wrong and they have managed to win the game, you will need these items for a proper send-off. It is also the only time that the entire team will be coming toward you, helmets off, faces exposed. Timing will be crucial, patience a necessity. But when the time comes - and you will know it by the presence of TO’s mug in your crosshairs - FIRE FIRE FIRE! Feed the throwing hand with the non-throwing hand, never take your eyes off the target, throw until your ammo runs dry and every item within arm’s reach has gone over the railing. When you can throw no more, unleash a barrage of profanities that would make a sailor with tourette’s syndrome cover his ears. Continue the tirade until the last man carrying the last headset exits the tunnel. Then go at it for another minute or two to make sure they know what you think of their team, their mothers, their daughters inappropriate relationship with the neighbors dog, their grandmothers porn addiction, their coaches preference for asian boys, their trainers mastery of erotic massage, their bus drivers failure to register as a sex offender, their home city aspiring to be the mecca for crossdressers and transvestites and how much you love Ozzy Osbourne for pissing on the Alamo. Maybe mix in a few lines about Neil O’Donnell being on the Cowboys payroll back in '95. That sonnofabitch.
Oh, and don’t forget to grab some soft pretzels on the way out. They’re usually pretty good at NFL games.
Wow!
Man…this is the GA Dome…not the Vet!..no in house judge and courtroom here!
Ha! I remember the first game that Judge Seamus was working the bench, Philly v. Pittsburgh. Very little green & white in that sea of black & gold in his courtroom.
But seriously, have a great time. NFL games are well worth the price for a father/son outing. How old is your boy?
How old is your son? I took my 9 year old son to his first pro football game this year as well and he had a blast. We were at the Monday night game between Denver and Baltimore at Invesco Field in Denver. The fans are crazy for the whole game. During the first quarter he asked if it was this loud all the time! He also wanted to know why it wasn’t this loud on TV. The weather sucked. It rained the whole game and the temps were in the upper 30s, but we were dressed for it and never got cold. I thought he would get bored after a short while, but the excitement of the crowd kept him going the whole game. Denver won and even as we were leaving and walking to our car the roar of the fans could be heard for a long time.
This was quite a different experience from taking him to his first pro baseball game during the summer.
Is your son man pretty too?
You and your son will have a great time. One of my goals is to see the Cowpokes play as I’ve been a life long fan. I’ve managed to make it to about 8 Packers games while I lived in that area. Everybody should experience 1 NFL game they truly are work the ticket prices.
Have fun
Man, lighten up…
Damn Sphere, remind me not to include the batteries in your new bike computer I was sending you. I would hate to have seen you and your crew at your high school homecoming game. Did that include taping your metal shop projects to your chest so you could sneak them by security and hurl them at the players?
Mike
Is your son man pretty too?
What the hell does that mean ??
I remember taking my son to his first football game, Galaxy against DC United in the Rose Bowl.
Tsk, Tsk, another sad little iggles fan. Throw all the little batteries you want, still won’t help you win in a superbowl.
I hope it’s a good game, and Bladed’s son sees something amazing. I saw TO get smacked by George Teague when he was showing off at midfield in Texas Stadium after scoring. He was still playing for SF and was the only one in the stadium who didn’t see it coming. It still makes me laugh.
Tsk, Tsk, another sad little iggles fan. Throw all the little batteries you want, still won’t help you win in a superbowl.
You don’t have to be an Eagles fan to hate the Cowboys, it comes natural to most outside of Texas.
My team, by the way, is the defending superbowl champions. Too bad they don’t play like defending champs.
I hope that Atlanta puts a BEAT DOWN on TO…what an idiot…he is the epitome of what is WRONG with American Sport…
Good for you…I remember going to see my first pro football game with my dad…Monday night football, Vikings vs the Pittsburgh Steelers in old Metropolitan Stadium in Bloomington, Minnesota…before the Vikings turned pussy and still liked playing in the cold. It was awesome…it was the year after the Vikes lost the Super Bowl to the Steelers, and they won this particular game.
Spot
First one I ever took my son to was a Raiders game. Never been back.