Has anyone successfully taken a really good dump in newtons? Can you eliminate fiber in your diet? Do they have little fragrance dispensers on the bottoms to help with the odor? Is there a storage section for those paper seat protectors to put on a public seat just in case the urge is just to powerful and you can’t make it to home base?
TIA
Good questions. By the way, the proper term for those toilet seat protectors is ass gasket.
I have taken a dump in my Newton’s as well.
I haven’t worn them since. I can’t get the smell out. I had mexican the night before.
I hate Newtons!
Why can’t they be sold in stores? Why only online…
I haven’t taken a dump IN my newtons, but while wearing them I have done. Getting more up on your toes means you don’t need a seat protector as you’re sort of suspended. Also allows for much more forceful propulsion during the “event”. The ribs on the bottom (of the shoes) are designed for great grip in blasting out from portapots … a real advantage.
I’ll think over the dump in the newtons … right now it just seems too expensive.
Dave
Could you actually tell if wearing the Newton’s helped you take advantage of Newton’s second law.
What was your heart rate?
Its best to run sockless directly after the dumping… So the warm doo gets between your toes!
Next person who starts a serious post on Newtons better be talking figs…
No I havent…but I did make a Helmut holded out of turds.
Its best to run sockless directly after the dumping… So the warm doo gets between your toes!
Next person who starts a serious post on Newtons better be talking figs…
I run sockless after dumping only if there’s no golf course with little towels clipped to the ball washer nearby…
I live for this kind of idiocy- 30 going on 12!
I will ONLY poo at home. ONLY at home and ONLY in my illegal Canadian toilet (3 gallon flush) that is in the basement potty.
I will often dial “91” and wait for that last futile second before hitting the final “1” in my last living cry for help.
What a strange bird you are.creep.
Chip,
Where did you get that toilet? No shit (actually lots of it), I want one of those gas-station-style, industro-suck types. I’m a 2-flush every time, and I figure thats wasting more water than anything.
Who else is tired, grumpy, and needs a laugh?
8 weeks to go!
Why are people like us so misunderstood? What is wrong with wanting to plant my ass on my toilet only? It’s just sphincter control.
You can get a pressure assist toilet that will help with the no go flushes. Toto toilets work well and will handle Charmin, really a lot of the newer low flow toilets are much better than the first designs. The problem is down the line though, the low flow toilets don’t push enough water down the line to really get all the waste moving and out to the main. Grease, soap, hair, more turds, etc. start clinging to the mass and it just gets bigger and eventually blocks the line. If you’ve never seen video of a lateral sewer line, you really haven’t lived. Damn I’m glad I quit my old job.
Canada - I am fucking serious. I drove to Canda to get a 3 gallon flush shitter. I cant stand the 1.6 gallon US crappers. There is a black market for the high volume shitters here you know. I am thinking that this will create a $5,000 + resale value in my home. I can flush it like I mean it baby!!!
I can flush it like I mean it baby!!!
From that photo, it looks like you need to aim it like you mean it… 
DISCLAIMER: My two replies to RC10’s posts in the last 48 hours shall not be construed to imply that I am stalking him, have an obsession with exotic toilets, or have anything against thumbscrews on pink bikes. I do, however, freely admit that Estee is adorable. 
Ok, carpet around a toilet? Nasty!
Blame the “Viper” man…blame the Viper…
Carpet is on it way out…going to be tile in the very near future…and the back (blue) wall is also on its way out.
OMG!!! Toilet Pjorn! You win - most disgusting bathroom.
BTW: I’ve heard that since the US went to low volume flushers, many sanitation departments add water to the system to keep the crap moving through the pipes, thereby negating the water savings of the toilets.
If BIGZACH were here, he would say this post is dumpster.
Chip, what if you s**t on your prized RECORD10CARBON. Would this actually increase your aero blading? I call for an immmediate ST scientific analysis. Chip will ride (like Chet the Jet) 1000 .1 of one mile loops of the Executive Relaxation Station in Rockford (Illinois) followed by one ginormous happy ending. The theory positing that poo will actually provide a more form fitted bike frame. Chip will be hip dropping a deuce and hanging loose while snooping on the aero effects of pooping.
Peace out Chip!