There is Talk Like a Pirate Day, why not Swear Like a Sailor Day? Why not embrace the horrible language once a year?
Sometimes I wake up and know it will be a day when foul language will be coming from me all day. Right now, I’m thinking: It is 40 fucking 5 degrees and fucking raining again godammit and I have to go outside and do fucking intervals in this shit!
Unfortunately I am out with friends all day so I will have to temper my swearing a bit, the f-bomb is a little harsh in that environment, but shit, dammit, hell can flow freely.
So, I vote for today, April 11th, to be Swear Like a Sailor Day!
Trust me, Jen…and this is coming from a retired Sailor: You’re a babe in the woods when it comes to speaking in the salty dog vernacular I’ll let Slowguy and a few of the other active duty types show you how it’s really done, but suffice it to say, there’s a lot more to motivating a bunch of lazy cocksuckers to get their dickskinners free of the grabasstic shit they’re currently fucking around with and get out there and act like they got a clue about how NOT to jack-off and fuck up the things it is they should actually be doing (hahahaha!). Slowguy can explain the intricacies of working with the fine folks in X Division about the plan of the day and their integral part in it.
Perhaps foul language is common in the U.S. Navy, but I assure you that obscenity was never countenanced on the tugs or supply boats on which I worked.
Well, maybe a little - e.g. “Why the heck can’t I get this danged nut to thread onto the gosh darned shackle pin?” But really, if the situation wasn’t pretty dire, this sort of language would probably earn you reproachful looks from your shipmates.
Awesome. Here is a sentence I made up with all of George Carlin’s seven dirty words:
“Fuck! Some people are cocksucking, **motherfuckers **who eat shit and drink **piss **and wouldn’t know a cunt from a **tit”. **
That was fun, Jen - Happy Easter!
Why the prejudice against (former) infantrymen? Sailors are nothing but fluffers for Richard Simmons (and I mean that in the most affectionate way possible for my sister service!!).
Looks like you’re just playing fuckaround fuckaround. Rather than spend the whole day knuckle deep in your own ass, unfuck yourself, get the fuck out of my AO and get the fuck moving before I put a boot so far up your fucking ass you spit shoe polish for a fucking month. Goddamned POGs!!
While I’m at it: what the fuck is the damage with DA civilians? Lazy motherfucker swore up and down we’d get travel advances NLT 10 days before PCS, and not a single frigging cent is in my fucking account. If those dumbfucks would so something other than suck cock for beer money maybe they could do their fucking job. Lazy fuckers need a goddamned boot in their ass, and I’m just the asshole to make it happen. Lazy, fat, piece of shit motherfuckers!
OK, I feel better now. I suppose this beats going on BP meds, huh?
“So, I vote for today, April 11th, to be Swear Like a Sailor Day!”
One of the nice things about being an actual Sailor is that every day is “Swear Like a Sailor Day” for me.
Anyways, some pussbag, shitbrained, cocksucking, motherfucker, couldn’t find his own skank smelling dick without the help of his slut whore skag mother, ass licking, sonovabitchin, draggin his junk in the dirt, crap eating, bloody brown starfish sucking fucktard told me that it was unbecoming of a Naval Officer to curse,…so I’m trying to stop.
Way back when I first joined the service and got home from bootcamp, my folks were driving me home from the airport and I had gotten so used to swearing like crazy in regular conversation that the following conversation took place in the car -
Mom: “How were the last few days of training?”
Me: “It was fucking brutal.”
You, sir…have now became my new idol. That.was.AWESOME!! I mean I was a mustang…so people sometimes expected me to slip up and throw a few juicy expletives around. You, however…well, like the father in “A Christmas Story,” you work in profanity like a Renaissance master works in oils or watercolors.
Y’know, working at the airline I worked at was similar to having to honcho a bunch of bulletsponge jarheads or skimmer puke surface fucks around. If you needed anything done in a hurry out on the ramp, like get a plane that was going to JFK right away gassed up and loaded, you had to start every sentence with an F-word and end it with something like, “don’t make me have to come back around and ‘F’ your world up.” We all used to get a lot of kicks from watching those shiny, happy people in the airline commercials…all content with their lot in life and just busting a nut to get that little girl her souvenir wings and maybe a pillow for the little old lady over in 21F. If the traveling public really knew what was going on
I have been out of the military for a bit now…but when I was in the Nav every single sentance ended with…“and shit”.
Conversation would…
Sailor #1…Fuck…en shit
Sailor #2…What the fuck…en shit
Sailor #1…I fucking have to go take a shit…en shit
Sailor #2…well fucking got shit…eh shit…don’t fucking tell me about it…en shit…fucking asshole en shit
Anyways, some pussbag, shitbrained, cocksucking, motherfucker, couldn’t find his own skank smelling dick without the help of his slut whore skag mother, ass licking, sonovabitchin, draggin his junk in the dirt, crap eating, bloody brown starfish sucking fucktard told me that it was unbecoming of a Naval Officer to curse,…so I’m trying to stop.
Slowguy can explain the intricacies of working with the fine folks in X Division about the plan of the day and their integral part in it.
What the fuck is a x-division? Sounds like some sack lapping smegma eating twidgets.Don’t get me started I will have some B- divison flash backs,and my table manners will go right to hell,I’ll start chewing again and sleeping in my clothes.
I’ll let Slowguy and a few of the other active duty types show you how it’s really done, but suffice it to say, there’s a lot more to motivating a bunch of lazy cocksuckers to get their dickskinners free of the grabasstic shit they’re currently fucking around with and get out there and act like they got a clue about how NOT to jack-off and fuck up the things it is they should actually be doing (hahahaha!). Slowguy can explain the intricacies of working with the fine folks in X Division about the plan of the day and their integral part in it.