Splash N Dash Q&A

Mulitsports.com is putting on a Splash n Dash on Saturday in Oceanside. The following exchange is in response to Paul Huddle’s offer to e-mail him with any further questions. It’s this kind of personal attention that makes these guys great race directors.

Gary Mc

Q: Why come you keep e-mailing me all the time? Why can’t you just let me be?

A:Because we’re a self-serving, self-promoting, money grubbing entity.

Q: Your thoughts about floaties? I’m not a strong swimmer. Snorkel? Flippers?

A:I think you should wrap yourself in a floatie (wetsuit), put one of those Dino (the dinosaur from the Flinstones) inner tube things around your waist, strap a MinnKota 50-hp electric motor to your back (great for silent bass fishing) and go for it. Fins are NOT allowed.

Q: Running is so 20th century,will there be a “Skipping” division?

A:No but you’ll be required to do 10 x 6-count burpees at each aid station.

Q: Will Heather be there? She makes me uncomfortable, always undressing me with her eyes.

A:I’ll copy her with this so that she knows…

Q: Same question for Roch.

A:You’ve known this for a while and, frankly, I think you like it.

Q: Are helmets required.

A:Only on the Pier (City of O-side request).

Q: Any chance I’ll need to join another goddamn federation before Saturday?

A:Several, the most important of which is the Paul and Roch federation.

Q:Does this wetsuit make my butt look fat?

A:Bigger than a pie wagon.

Q: Can you explian the roll down procedure?

A:After your soaking wet, we roll you down in the sand - we’ve got some big guys to help with this.

Q: Plum smuggler or banana hammock, which is correct?

A:Neither. The new fashion this year is the bun hugger bob - sort of a hot pant style from Brazil.

that’s yooge!

so, did you get the bun hugger?

I did one of these last year, 1/4 mile swim, 5K. a couple of guys showed up with wetsuits.