So, using that same rationale, I’m going to go out on a limb and posit that bike ownership is also related to one’s volume of sexual relations. I’ll also state my belief that Trek owners have more sex than any other group of bike owners. I’ll use myself as an example: four times a week (and yes, that’s four times a week with someone else!)
I have four bikes. One is a corroded carbon fiber frame with rusty Campy components; it hangs on the garage wall. Another is my trusty mountain bike; it has big, knobby tires and can handle unexplored terrain. The third is a Giant road bike; I think the name says it all. The fourth is a Cervelo, which is an anagram for “ce lover,” (which, oddly enough, translates to ‘this to coil’ in French, and can mean, in my poor English, “goils like to coil up with me”).
The problem is that girls that ride bikes don’t need sex - the saddle takes care of that for them. And girls that don’t ride think guys on bikes look like dorks.
Yes, italian bikes are flashy, but my experience with italian parts is that they break quiet often, the same way that BMW’s are always in the shop. This leaves owners of both vehicles plenty of time to have sex while their rides are getting fixed.
Yo Marty - I have a little story for you. I have four bikes, all purchased after marriage. The mountain bike got me some action, but that was very early in the relationship. The mountain bike, by the way, was an anniversary gift, so we each got one. We were romantic then. I then bought a specialized road bike. I still got some action, but just a bit less. Later I bought a Quintana Roo, which just sounds like hot monkey mexican tamali sex. I rode it a lot. But the riding of the spousal unit continued to decrease, it being 5 years after the marriage. As you know, I recently bought a hot, sexy Ti Colnago. What can be more steamy and passionate than something Italian? I ride it more than my QR. I get action even less. Been married now going on 8 years.
The moral of the story (a syllogism of sorts):
Marriage = Less Sex
The longer the marriage = Even less sex
Enjoy your 5/16 wedding night . . . and make it count. It’s all downhill from then on.
Gotta be the owners of the KM40. Check out the verbage.
To this merciless discipline Kestrel humbly dedicates the KM40 - every inch of it designed, tested and re-designed to yield just one result: the near perfect translation of muscle power into forward speed. The KM’s geometry is specifically tuned to the flat-back time trial position, while the design’s outstanding vertical compliance isolates the rider from bumps and road shock. The massive downtube is both exceptionally stiff and aerodynamically optimal; 650c wheels and our unique seat tubeless design make the KM one of the slipperiest bikes on the Queen K Highway…or anywhere else. No wonder Kestrels (and, increasingly, the KM) have proven themselves the most popular bike at the Ironman, year after year. KM40 Airfoil: 3.4 lbs, one-piece frame with EMS Pro/650 fork.
We have a bunch of bikes in the garage - wife’s, kid’s, mine. But the true factor in the equation is 16 years. Based on my history there is an inverse formula that roughly equates to: (1/x)/k = number of times you have sex per day. X = number of years married, k = number of kids. In my case that would be (1/16)/2 or once every 75.47 days.
