Background- son 21, lives away at college (2 hrs) only home for summer.
So last night he goes to the local liquor store to buy beer. Guy ringing him up is a local townie, big burly guy. Ben pays for his beer, the guy is giving him his change then takes his hand and holds on to it. Says “I know you, you drive a brown truck right”, Ben, little non plussed says yes even though he doesn’t drive it anymore, guys says five years ago you cut me and my son off in your truck. You are lucky I didn’t come after you and f’ng kill you.
At this point Ben is thinking okay, what do I do now. Says ‘sorry man’. Leaves
Comes home and is really livid and freaked out. My advice to him is leave it alone, the guy is a townie, works for the town, probably has friends who are cops in town, not worth the hassle.
But this morning I am not sure I gave him the right advice. It was Mom advice but I am not sure it is right.
Just curious as to what you think his other options are? You think sending him back to hassle the guy is a workable option? Reporting him to the police for saying he was pissed off 5 years ago? I don’t really see a lot of other options.
Let it lie. But, I’d stop shopping at that liquor store, for sure.
And looking at it from the clerk’s perspective, what happened 5 years ago (whether it was your son or not) may have really scared him. There was a crazy teenager in my neighborhood who used to drive like a maniac and scare me half to death when my kids were out playing. His family moved (yeah!!!), but I’ll never forget how he put my kids’ lives in danger by his careless behavior. When your kids are involved, it’s hard to forget things like that.
Right, send a 21 year old back to hassle a 45 year old who obviously has a lot more cards to play vis a vis small town politics than said 21 year old. That would be really smart.
No, the only workable option would be to go back to the liquor store, speak to the manager and let him know his employee was completely out of line to a paying customer.
Seriously doubt we will do anything. 16 year olds with their licenses are crazy. Our neighborhood has lived through its share of all of them. I have my next door neighbors two kids getting their licenses very soon. Having said that people have cut me off and scared the crap out of me in their cars before. Seriously scared me including when my son was younger and in the car. I can’t imagine waiting five years to do something about it. That is seriously weird if you ask me.
You did right. Let it be. Make a mental or even written note of who made the comments and when.
Move on. Five years from now the guy will still be earning minimum wage at the age of probably 45, and he will still be an ass. Your son won’t. Game, set and match to your son.
I think you gave him the right advice. Certainly there’s no point in advocating a more confrontational response.
On the other hand, maybe he should consider the conciliatory approach. Write a brief note of apology, explaining that he can’t remember cutting the guy off 5 years ago, but whatever happened, clearly it upset the guy enough to stick in his memory, and he’s sorry to have caused him such anguish, or whatever, but he’s much more mature now, and does and will continue to drive with more care and concern for others, blah blah blah.
Probably it won’t matter a bit, but I don’t see that it can hurt anything, and it might gain him a bit of good will among the townies. If that matters at all.
Wow, that guy has quite a memory. I get cut off by so many people on a daily basis that I could never keep track of them all. If it ever goes any further, I would coach your son to say something like, “You know, 5 years ago I was 16 years old. Like many 16 year olds I was kind of an idiot and sometimes I drove that way. Whatever I might have done was surely accidental, and was not meant to target you in any way. Please accept my apology.” I can not imagine any reasonable person would push it past that. Still, we are talking about a guy who remembers the guy who cut him off 5 years ago. Yeesh!
In fact have your son go and buy two six packs from the man. Have your son apologize and also tell him that he has matured and realizes how wrong some of the crazy things he did were. Tell the clerk to keep one of the six packs becuase he figures he owes him one.
In fact have your son go and buy two six packs from the man. Have your son apologize and also tell him that he has matured and realizes how wrong some of the crazy things he did were. Tell the clerk to keep one of the six packs becuase he figures he owes him one.
So this kid gets assaulted and you want him to pay the guy off with an apology and a 6-pack?!?!?! The correct advice is to call the police and file a report. Capitulating to assault and a threat is not constructive in the least.
Says “I know you, you drive a brown truck right”, Ben, little non plussed says yes even though he doesn’t drive it anymore, guys says five years ago you cut me and my son off in your truck.
Wow, that is a long time to harbor resentment over something like that. If it hasn’t completely eaten him up inside, hopefully he can go on with his life now.
The self-righteousness of people never ceases to amaze me (me included). I wonder how long your son would have to follow Townie around before he did something that offended or scared someone else…a day, an hour, 5 minutes? That said, perhaps your son can learn some things from the seemingly negative experience like being forgiving to those that wrong him, and thinking about how his actions affect the reactions of other people.
That is as much of an assault as the sons cutting him off was attempted vehicular manslaughter. I will go out on a limb, and say that his son was probably a bit of a “free spirited driver” when he was younger. I will also give him the benefit of the doubt and say that he has matured since then and knows better.
With that said, Why have an enemy out there for no reason? Especially a redneck convenience/liquor store clerk. I think it is pretty manly to say hey I screwed around in the past, I am very happy nothing happened to you and your son, let me buy you a beer.
But maybe your way is better. Call the cops, piss off the redneck and all of his redneck friends and now have a bigger group of brain farts looking to screw you over the next chance they get.
**That is as much of an assault as the sons cutting him off was attempted vehicular manslaughter. **
Not really. Depending on the local criminal code, assault can be as simple as the physical contact with another person without consent.
As for the rest of your post, it seems to me that the kid already has an enemy and the proper course of action would be to get the police involved. I am definately not going to buy a beer for someone who grabs my arm and then threatens my life.
go to the store buy a quart of wild turkey when he goes to ring it up smash him over the head with it then tell him if he ever touches your kid again it will get worse
seriously people why is everyone taking this obvious psycho’s word that the kid cut him off it sounds to me like this nutjob could just as easily be angry about a percieved cut off. I would go down to the police station file a report and then stop by for a chat with this guy and inform him that I don take kindly to strangers threatening my kid
better yet sue the clerk and the store owner for civil asault get a judgement have the sheriff grab his car to satisfy the judgment and then he wont have to worry about people cutting him off
some of these responses, especially the ones about writing notes and buying beer, remind me of winston churchills quote “An appeaser is one who feeds a crocodile, hoping it will eat him last.”
Or . . . . the kid could blow it off, continue to shop at the store, and have a prepared speech for the next time the guy mentions it. The speech might go something like this:
“Look, man, I honestly don’t recall having cut you off in traffic five years ago. If I did . . . and I have no reason to doubt your recollection . . . then I’m really sorry. I was much younger and stupider then. I’ve grown up a lot in the last five years, and I"m truly relieved to hear that you and your kid are okay. Again, if I really did do that, I’m very, very sorry.”
Then bash him over the head with a bottle of Wild Turkey.
