Dementia finally won and took a wonderful lady away from us. The last 3 years of her life had been a real struggle but we were able to provide most of her needs until right up to the end where she was admitted to hospice care. She died peacefully Saturday morning at age 89. I have learned a lot about the care of the elderly including VA benefits, insurance, good doctors/bad doctors, adult diapers… things I wish I never had to learn about.
If any of you folks here ever need any kind of help with someone elderly please reach out to me and I will do whatever I can to help lessen your load. The biggest take-away I have to share is don’t be a martyr and don’t be ashamed to ask or demand help as he load is way to big for an individual to carry it alone. God bless.
Very sorry for your loss. My MIL suffers from dementia also and you are correct about it being a very difficult thing, especially for the children. It is very kind of you to offer your assistance to those experiencing such a difficult process.
So sorry for your loss. My mother lived with my family for the last 7 years of her life, following a major stroke and then dementia. Taking care of your elderly parents is one of the hardest things you will ever do in life, and people really have no idea until they have to do it. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve heard “I don’t know how you guys survived” from people who have just started the process. My hats off to you for the obvious loving care you provided to your mother-in-law. My husband did the same and I know it was a lot to ask of him, so you get a big internet hug from me.
And, yes, so much to learn. Medicare, Medicaid, managing meds, managing doctors, managing s**t, all the while you’re trying to stay employed and maybe have a few minutes to yourself. So many things you wish you never had to learn or see.
Sorry about your loss, I have to say I wish my Grandmother would pass… she has suffered with Chronic dementia for 10 years now and is an empty shell and so far removed from the amazing lady I will always remember. She deserves so much more. She deserves to rest and not struggle every single day… in passing comes a certain comfort…
Remember them how they were every day… and they live forever…
so sorry to hear. 3 of 4 of my grandparents were lost to Alzheimer’s. My parents eat blueberries by the pound in an attempt to combat its onset. And I figure that it’s in the post for me someday as well.
Hopefully, my 3 kids are another story in a couple of ways–I don’t want them to go through the elder care that you describe, and that my own folks have suffered.
my MIL just turned 100 in good physical health, but has not been present mentally for well over a decade… luckily her husband was wealthy, investments have been able to pay for care so far. Property is a fine thing.
There’s a lovely old lady at church, in her 80s, still plays the organ at all services, volunteers for everything: her husband was wealthy but ten years of his Alzheimer’s care burnt through all the money, now she is living in her daughter’s basement…
It’s horrifying… current quote I have for LTC insurance is $220/month, for the rest of my life… can’t afford it, simple.
I’ve told my kids that at the point where I can’t wipe myself, take me out behind the barn and put me down, bury me next to the old dog’s grave…
exercise is supposed to help prevent Alzheimer’s so I’m going to keep working out until my appointment behind the barn…
