I posted a personal problem which I had no business doing. All of you have been very supportive in assisting me deal with the loss of a son. The longer I was the post the more depressed I got. Physical possessions are not the same as family. If I could hug you all I would. Instead, each and everyone of you give a family member a big hug.
DougStern
Doug–we are all like your virtual family. that might sound mushy, but I’ve had a glass of wine, so bare with me. really–how many times do you give thoughtful worthwhile advice? (answer: all the time). you are important to us, and you have every bit of a right to bring it up. there are people here who want to support you.
also–alot of us can relate in some distant way to your human condition (others can’t feel what you feel, but your story is touching and alot of us have the desire to make it better, if it were possible. sometimes having others listen helps).
plus what you were talking about is real life. life is full of tragedy, sorrow, loss, pain, and heartbreak. we have all (or will) experienced something hard in our lives. human nature moves people to reach out, offer some sort of touch of support. granted, nobody can take away the pain and feeling of loss, but when the human touch of care is there, it makes a difference.
personally I cannot imagine what you’ve gone through. my husband’s father was killed by a drunk driver 4 years ago and it has left a horrible mark…but your own child. i cannot imagine. God will get you through…
kc
I’ve met your family. It’s impressive. I can visualize that this loss was enormous and terribly, terribly painful.
One of the things this forum is good (great) for is a sounding board and a source of support, discussion and comfort. The people on this forum are almost entirely good people who show genuine care and concern. There is also a lot of wisdom on here.
For as much as you have brought to the triathlon community not just in New York but around the world you are entitled to and should call on the people who you have helped so much over the years for support.
And you can bet Doug, for all that you have done for me over the years, that you are in my thoughts and prayers all the time.
I wager I speak for many more people than myself when I say you can lean on me for support any time you need, because for years you’ve offered the same to me in Curacao.
Thanks Doug, and my best wishes to you, your wife, Cleo and everybody in NYC.
Doug, chances are our paths may never cross. I want to thank you for helping remind us how precious our families are. I remember the tears when I first read your post, since that day I have not let any issues get out of a true perspective.
It is always better to share your feelings, so never feel that you are out of line by sharing your feelings on slowtwitch.
Rick
It is rare that I am left speechless.
Thanks to all.
DougStern
Doug,
I’m sorry but I didn’t see your original post. I’m really sorry to hear of your loss and please know that my wife and I will take the time to think about you guys tonight. I’ve got a rough idea of what you and your family might have been through recently. What seems like not that long ago my little girl passed away. The days after we lost Annabel - as I understand now - were the most surreal days I have ever lived. People react in strange ways when they realize what has happened to you. For the most, our friends and family showed unbelievable strength in supporting us through some tough times. There were the odd few who went out of their way to ‘avoid’ talking about ‘it’, but we soon came to understand that it wasn’t us - some folks just couldn’t talk/express themselves openly about such a sensitive subject without the fear of ‘setting us off’.
If you want to drop me a note about anything whatsoever - please fell free to do so and I will try and answer any questions you may have.
Steve
I see through your upbeat attitude in every post. Particularly the “It is a beautiful day” post. And I think how you are indeed struggling to find something beautiful in every day, and I admire you for it.
And then I read your swimming tips and say “Damn that SOB for being such a good swimmer!”
What the heck good is a forum for if we can’t be ourselves. We DO have lives outside of training and racing, and those lives affect our training and racing. ST (our Peaceful Tribe as Tom D dubbed it) is like a big party with people coming and going 24 hours a day. Lots of new stories, opinions, gossip, jokes, all with the common thread of multi-sport. We rejoice in each other’s accomplishments and support each other through times of pain and crisis. I know at times we all feel that we can “talk” on ST more openly than we can to people we see every day. I’ve vented about my own situation because it is safe here. I do hope that your pain subsides with time but your love for your son will never fade. Big hugs back to you.