This one’s for the single parents… I can’t seem to get into any sort of groove training-wise so I’m looking for suggestions. I can’t do the 4am workouts thing because I can’t just go out and train while my kids are sleeping at home alone, and my kids swim and run with their school teams so I can’t really train with them, and then afternoons are homework soccer and other extracurricular activities, so I’m looking for some suggestions for short, efficient workouts for people with limited time… and as you can tell by my infrequent posting lately I really mean “limited”!
Depends on if you have a flexible work schedule- I"m not a single parent but feel like one! I either squeeze a run in before work after I’ve dropped them off at school- or it waits till “lunch break”- for run or swim. bike on the trainer with short bricks in the neighborhood, I’ve done the bulk of workouts while the kids are at baseball practice or in other extracurricular activities- I’ve done a couple of early a.m. runs before they wake up-and then also at night when they are home (9 and 11) but they know the drill; no phone, no door-call me to check in and vs versa but I never go past an hr. My 11yr old is very responsible and even the 9yr old knows the drills- if I had just one though I wouldn’t do it.
How old are your kids? Are they old enough to be left alone in the house while you do a 40 minute run in the neighborhood? That’s what I do when my DH travels. I bring my cell phone along in case they need something. I also try to do my workouts when they are at school. Can you workout at lunchtime?
I’m a widower, two kids, and I found a few things that help (I’ve done all of them):
- during soccer games or other outdoor sports, jog around the field. You can still yell out support for your kid’s team.
- workout during lunchtime, even if it’s only for 15-20 minutes.
- Weekend workouts are early - tell the kids to sleep in. If you’re worried about the kids being home alone, jog around the block. I used to do this for up to an hour - up and down the street, past the house every five minutes, listening for any crying.
- Set up a bike trainer in the garage or in the living room and pedal while the kids are asleep. Or while you’re all watching TV. The kids will probably ask for their own bike trainers once they see Dad doing it.
- During the kids’ swim team practice, jump into a lap lane. If there isn’t one, ask the kid’s swim coach for help - they’ll understand. Or go for a run.
- Get a nanny, even if just for a few hours a week. Use that time for yourself (workouts, shopping, dates, whatever). You owe it to yourself.
- If you can afford it, hire a housecleaner to come in once a week. A lot of them will also do laundry if you ask You’ll suddenly have more time and a cleaner house.
- Be realistic. Your kids will get older and more independent and eventually you’ll have more time, so tough it out and keep your eyes on the big picture.
- Teach your kids to do their own laundry when they’re old enough.
You need to take care of your children, but don’t forget to take care of yourself! The time you spend with them will be better if you also allow yourself adequate time to reduce your stress, including less stressing out about working out.
Thanks… all good suggestions… I forgot to mention that I’m the soccer coach and part-time swim coach, so no working out during those sports… they’re 11 and 13…
I do go out and bike while he is sleeping on the weekends - if he wakes up, he has Xbox and when I get home we celebrate by going to breakfast - he is the same age as yours.
AND I get a swim in the early hours of the morning - he has to get himself up and ready for school - has a new iPod alarm clock - he does amazing with this - gets up and eats and ready on time - fosters independence - he can’t take me to college with him so better start now. When I come back he is waiting and I pick him up and take him to school. One day he had the dog ready too, complete with backpack, uniform and lunch packed!! LOL!!
Then I run right before dinner - he is working on homework. No kids in, no kids out. No cooking, no using a kitchen knife.
We have 2 big dogs - so they keep him company - at least you have 2 for that.
Mine is 8. No shared custody (father deceased) or family nearby. She does spend summers in Hawaii, so other than that:
Ride on the trainerRun hill repeats beside my apartment, we live on a very steep hill and she can see/talk to me from the windowRun laps (1 mile loop) on the polo field track where she can ride her bikeTake her to the kids room at the gym (for a fee)
Say “yes” when she is invited to go on sleepovers
i cant add much except that I have to make sure that I have realistic expectations of myself
i also have been lucky to find early am babysitters i have to pay extra but i get them to come from 5am to 9 or 10 on weekends and I can then get in long workouts
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Great post.
Myself, im a member of Golds Gym and my kids love the kids club, so I put them in there for an hour or so whilst I run on the treadmill, swim or do a spinning class.
It is definitely a challenge trying to fit it all in. My kids are now 17, 15 and 12 and finally it is getting easier again. When they were really small and their schedules predictable, I was better able to fit things in. I could predict when I had pockets of time reliably through the week. Once my oldest daughter was 12 though I did run in the early mornings. They too had alarm clocks to get up, shower, change and get downstairs for breakfast. I always left the table set and lunches out, so they came down to a bit of organization. I have always swum at lunch and tried to have my cycling done whether indoors or out, weekday or weekend by 1:30.
Over the last 3-4 years it has been tougher to get into a training groove with their unplanned/last minute games, practices, other after -school activities and of course increasingly important social lives that supersede all other activities and require a chauffeur. Then it seems about 6 months or so ago, I sensed we had entered yet another phase, that I could once again introduce a little more training a little more reliably. My older daughter drives and can be bribed to drive/pick up her brother from a practice and can get herself to work, sports. In fact for her it isn’t even `cool’ for parents to come and watch some of her games- they drive themselves, go for coffee afterward and get embarrassed by too enthusiastic a cheering section! All three kids now sleep in on the weekends, go over to their friends etc… Another sign of a shift is my older daughter asking if there wasn’t a race I could go to out of town so she could have the house to herself 
So it would seem as my kids’ lives unfold, there is an equal ebb and flow to my own activities. And I wouldn’t have it any other way.
You forgot
- hang out with Auntie Cathy on occasion and do the laundry and go to the bar so mom can train
clm
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I don’t know how single parents do anything, period. My wife is out of town this week and I’m a mess, the house is a mess, and the kid went to daycare today with two different socks on and snot in her hair.
You all have my admiration.
I don’t know how single parents do anything, period. My wife is out of town this week and I’m a mess, the house is a mess, and the kid went to daycare today with two different socks on and snot in her hair.
You all have my admiration.
LOL! That was me on monday and she was just gone for a 15 hour day trip! Agreed, agreed!
There was a time for about 5 years when I was a 1/2 time single parent. For me the solution was easy. When my son was with me, which was 50% of the time, I did not do any exercise. Frankly, I don’t know how true single parents do it - there is barely time for the essential day-to-day stuff with work, kids, school, and other extracurricular activities. I am in awe of any true full-time single parent who can some how, carve out some time to even get a limited amount of exercise time in.
I agree completely Steve.
i have a hard time running a business and getting my workouts in without kids.
Single parents that stay in shape or do tri’s are the real Ironman!
Andrew
Oh here is another idea I have, I just run whilst the kids ride there bike. They love being my support crew. I get them to carry my drink biddons and that way I still get my 2 hour run in. Oh and they actually get a little exercise too. We run on an old disused train line converted into a trail so its very flat for them.
For what it’s worth, I’m not a single parent but I do most of the childcare in our family because my wife’s job requires a lot of hours is high stress. My kids are 5 and 3. It’s my job to get them up, fed and to/from daycare 5 days a week. So, I’m up most mornings at 5:15 and in the basement on the trainer. I make sure the lights are on upstairs and the door to the basement is open so if either of them get up they can easily find dad. I’ve built a small play area complete with tv and dvd player for them a few feet away from where my bike is setup so if I also want to ride in the evenings they can hang out down there with me as well. I can also run at lunch and swim after work at the gym. My kids have been going to the kids club at the gym since they were both 3 months old and get upset if we dont go. They’re the ones that complain when we pick them up not when we drop them off. The weekends are probably where I have an advantage over the true single parents. Saturdays we go to the gym as a family and I can usually ride or run home and Sundays since I do so much during the week I can usually get out for a long ride without any fuss. Bottom line is that it can be done. It may take some planning though.
Thanks… all good suggestions… I forgot to mention that I’m the soccer coach and part-time swim coach, so no working out during those sports… they’re 11 and 13…
12 is the legal limit in Canada to babysit(with the babysitting course). Even at 11 they are allowed to look after themselves for short periods. It all depends on the maturity of the child. I’m a single parent and in the spring/summer on sat mornings my daughter doesn’t even get out of bed before 11 (she just turned 14). So it means I’m up at and on my bike at 5:30am. By the time she is getting up I’m pulling in the door with a 5 hour ride done. I have a cell phone. Alarm is set and dog is sleeping on the kids bed. I have nums to about 3-4 other neighbours on my cell as well. She knows where I am if she needs to get a hold of me, and the num to our neighbours.
During the winter I try to get most of my runs in at lunch, on weekends they are done before she gets out of bed. Same with swimming, I’m at the pool before work and she walks to school (thankfully just around the corner).
I think the biggest thing is talking to your kids, make plans incase something happens, and you’ll start getting use to giving them some responsibility.
Really the trick is to look at your schedule well ahead of time and make a 1-2 week plan in advance. I hate morning workouts, but I’m not missing any important time of her life. Lastly you do what you can, and don’t feel bad about lack of training or missed workouts. It’s tough and being a good parent is a true endurance event that never finishes.
Darren
I have to say that the other thing that works for us is that despite parenting from two homes, both the kids’ Dad and I do share a `lifetime as an athlete’ philosophy i.e no matter your age it is important to be involved in some athletic activities for life. It doesn’t matter which house they are at, both parents are active. Their Dad plays hockey and basketball/baseball on a weekly basis and I do the tri thing. They don’t really know it any other way.
Alison
Not a single parent but I have two little ones at home- 2 yo and 3 mos. I do most of my workouts during the week after they go to bed- 8:30ish. I have a trainer, treadmill and elliptical in the basement. The weekends I’m flexible and get the workouts in when I can depending on our schedule.