Similar to Marisol's problem

Triathlon Forum
1

I’ve been having a little trouble with my training partner…

We have been training together for almost 3 years and he has been pretty good to train and travel with. We generally get along pretty well.

He has, however, become almost obssessed with beating me. To the point of wanting to get a bike exactly like mine, even though he is almost 12" taller and with a totally different riding style. He insists on doing the same workouts I do, even though I am headed to Kona and he is headed to the local Olympic race.

I tell him what *my *workout is on any given day and proceed to do it…I pay a coach to give me a schedule personalized for me and my goals. It killls me to see him go out like a bat out of hell trying to stay with me on the swim, bike or run, but when I try to give him ideas on how to modify my workouts to better fit his situation, he pretty much ignores me. I know he would be much better served and see more improvement by doing smarter workouts designed for him.

I also coach a couple of girls who are paying me to get them race ready. I feel that they need and deserve most of my attention. He is not paying for anything…and is starting not to be able to push me in training, which was the payoff I felt I got for helping him.

He has also, through snide and sarcastic “off hand” comments, made it pretty clear, to me and others, that, while he is happy for me and my results, he is also a bit envious and resentful.

It’s making me crazy! I want him to continue to train and improve. I would honestly LOVE to see him beat me (or at least give me a good run)…we are not in the same age or gender group anyways…but if he doesn’t start training a little smarter, I don’t see that happening. He just doesn’t take direction well…especially from me.

Any suggestions? How do I handle this without ruining a friendship? Can I suggest he hire a coach, or write his own workouts without totally pissing him off? Is it a girl/guy thing? Gotta do something 'cause it’s driving me nuts.

G

2

Risk making him mad and tell him exactly the truth…you used to benefit from training with him, but the difference in your training goals, and the difference in your performance level, and the snide comments about wanting to beat you are detracting from your goals. So, he can either begin helping you by being a better training partner, or he can clear out, at least as far as training goes.

If you respect this person, and yourself, the truth is the only way to go. If you don’t care for this person, nor yourself, you can pussyfoot around it and stay in a self-imposed purgatory about the situation.

Make the move. You’ll be glad you did…if not tomorrow, or not next week, in 6 months or a year. Sometime in the future, you’ll both be glad you took a direct stand about something important to you.

3

We know he has some issues…I think you’re going to have to bite the bullet and cut him loose. You can’t really stop him for overtraining and given your locale, I know you can’t totally avoid him or change your workout schedule. Perhaps you can tell him that you need to focus on Kona and can’t train with him as much as you used to and then slowly increase the time you train away from him.

Either way, I don’t think you’ll avoid pissing him off. But the relationship with him is not working anymore and you can’t afford to let it drag you down. I know it’s hard and I hate confrontation, but if it’s bothering you enough to seek advice from the forum, then I know it’s really, really an issue for you.

4

What’s wrong with the “local Olympic race”?

5

No sense doing workouts tailored for IM if you’re doing Oly races…

6

Sorry. Kinda an inside joke.

7

Nuttin’, nuttin’ at all…it’s gonna be a great race! Although I hear that the gal in charge of the volunteers can be a bit of a b!tch. :wink:

See ya soon!

G

8

Don’t be bitchy to me ;-)…I can’t wait to come and volunteer
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