I was that kid. I turned 18 half way through my freshman year in college. And I was 21 well after most of my friends. It sucked not going to bars with them after finals. Hold the kid back a year and he will thank you in 15 years.
Dave
No…I didn’t write that clearly…her BIRTHDAY is in August…the cutoff is at the end of October, or sometime in November…I don’t recall exactly when.
Gotcha!
I know in our district if you were close on either side of the cutoff, you could go either way. One of my best friends was a few days older than me but went in a year later.
Frankly, I didn’t see much of a difference. But, those were different times and it seemed our parents had a more “sink or swim” attitude as opposed to today’s style of trying to protect kids from everything. I’m not a parent though, so what the hell do I know.
You homeschooled 3 boys until they were in grade 7! Wow!! Good for you.
It sucked not going to bars with them after finals. Hold the kid back a year and he will thank you in 15 years.
Yeah, because being able to drink with your friends is more important than education.
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We’re in the same boat with our son this year, and put his older sister in “early” (missed the cut-off by a month) two years ago. I think its very individual to the child - our daughter was very much ready intellectually, a strong reader and is big for her age - which might help. It has worked out well for her. My wife and I went back and forth a bit with our son who missed the cut by two months. Originally we weren’t going to push him ahead, but he’s now farther advanced with reading than his sister was and has really blossomed socially so I think we will do it.
One thing the other posters may be missing is often the choice is between ECE vs kindergarten. Kindergarten is really the start of school these days and not to diminish ECE but its almost geared towards kids just slightly beyond toddlers. They are different environments and kids at different development stages are going to respond better to one or another depending where they’re at.
As far as the whole graduating at 17 thing, I think exactly the opposite: your kid is more likely to be pissed being 18 and still in high school rather than 17 and starting college.
We went through the same discussion when our kids were starting. Advice from a 30-year kindergarten teacher was to wait, which is the way we were leaning anyway. Our decision was much more about middle school/high school than it was about kindergarten. We decided to give them every advantage in being a leader among their peers (I can hopefully teach them to make good decisions and influence others rather than being influenced.) and felt that age, size and maturity (hopefully) would better prepare them for that role. They’re 16 and 14 and we continue to believe it’s one of the best decisions we’ve ever made.
If you’ve ever read “Outliers” by Malcom Gladwell his theories lead to the idea that this decision advantages them not just for school, but for life.
On top of all of it my wife, who is a stay-at-home mom, was thrilled to have the kids at home for one more year. They’ll be gone soon enough and I have trouble seeing how that year would ever hurt them.
I haven’t read the study and I’m sure there are many kids who skip grades and do quite well. However, for all of the kids that I know who have done this, it was a disadvantage from a social point of view. The kids did fine and got along, but IMO they would have done much better had they stayed with kids their own age.
Also, skipping grades is not the only option to challenge these kids. We are lucky enough to have learning specialists at my daughter’s school. That person not only helps kids who are struggling, but also helps kids who find the work too easy. There are ways to challenge the kids in their own grades.
I think the main problem is that most schools and teachers are against acceration and (or because) they don’t know how to handle gifted kids.
Too often, gifted children are treated differently, and most hate being ‘different’. If teachers can keep the gifted kids engaged and challenged, without ostracizing them, things will work out, either with or without acceleration.
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Slackers don’t show up every day to a job they hate. Grown-ups go to work even when they hate it.
I was born in October and I went into kindergarten early but mainly because my parents wanted the free day care. They planned on having me repeat and went so far as to have me go to my first year of kindergarten in a different school district so that I wouldn’t have friends who were in 1st grade during my second year. For the longest time they told me I had to stay back because I failed scissors (damn right handed world).
In the end, I was able to get my divers license early in my sophomore year and turned 18 in my senior year. I was always in the top of my class each year and never regretted being held back.
Our daughter is the youngest in her class. Fortunately, she is also the tallest and smartest - so she blends in well. That said, emotional maturity is behind the other kids, and we went through a difficult stretch where her social skills we seriously lagging behind her peers. You have to consider that school is more than just education and learning. It’s growing and developing socially and mentally into a well rounded, well adjusted person. We had the opportunity to put her into a special program that would have required her to switch schools. Yes, she would have been challenged academically but after consulting with the principal and her teacher - we passed on the opportunity. why? they both emphasized the need for social development.
If your son has more going for him than just being “intelligent” than go for it. but, keep in mind that boys often have a harder time adjusting than girls (or, so the parent lore goes).
My vote is don’t rush it.
Our son turns 5 in July and will start Kindergarten this year. He will be one of the youngest in his class. We considered holding him out, not due to his emotional maturity or intelligence but due to the fact that so many parents with boys are holding their sons back for athletics. In his preschool class he has two boys who will turn 6 before my son turns 5. In the end his preschool teacher helped us make the decision but I would be aware that starting a boy in Kindergarten now days at the age of 4 may have him in class with boys who are 2 years older and physically much more mature.
This whole thing of holding kids back, especially boys for sports is hysterical to me. Man people have some ridiculous priorities. My daughter will be 4 in October: She will be in kindergarden September 2011 She will be the shortest person in her class for her whole life (chances are with me at 5’4 and my wife at 4’11 she’d be the shortest person even if we held her back a year) just like her mother and I were She will spend her first month and a half of college as a 17 year old.
I began preparing her for these eventualities from day one by stressing toughness, attitude, self-discipline, only using "you can do xxxx when you are older (not bigger), and mentioning to her she is Short NOT Small.
I have a feeling she will be fine.
Like your daughter, my birthday is in October and I started kindergarten when I was not quite 5, college when still 17…and I was fine (and I’m short!). My sister, another October baby, was fine, too. One of our boys is a summer baby and adjusted well to school right away even though he was barely 5. Yet our youngest, also a summer baby, I would have held back. He really wasn’t ready. I don’t think that’s ridiculous. There’s a difference between pushing your child (which can be a great thing) and setting them up for failure. I didn’t want my boys dreading school, and that’s what would have happened to our youngest had I piled on too much. He was 5 for heaven’s sake!! There’s a HUGE amount of learning that can take place outside a classroom, so I just had to be creative in what I called “school” (or, in our case, “homeschooling”). I, too, have a feeling your daughter will be fine as you are a supportive father. I found each of my boys to wildly different so I had to approach them differently.
CinDee
BTW…Thanks, DawnT!!
Whose best interest is it to put your son in school early? Your Son or your Ex being able to brag that her son is already in school?
2 weeks is close…
I am a teacher, and I see a lot of kids who come to school early and they are very immature in the upper elementary grades. Let me say that your child will lose NOTHING by being held off a year, but may struggle socially, academically and emotionally later on in school (late elem, and middle school stuff).
Also, you are wasting money on paying for stuff he or she would already get the following year anyway.
save your money, put it off.
Would some one please tell me the advantage of sending your child to school early?
Little background info. I am a single father of a 4 yr old son who’s mother insists he start school this fall rather than next. He misses the cut off by 2 weeks but she has been looking to send him to a private school who will ignore the cut off. My son is quite intelligent for his age and well developed however he does show issues w staying focused and paying attention in general. I for one feel this is a horrible idea and have experience being the youngest in my class graduating at the age of 17 but he will already be in college by the time of his 18th birth day.
Any input for or against would be greatly appreciated.
Best regards,
We had to go through this discussion about our son who was also very “precocious” at a young age. I was worried about him being bored. In the end, we decided to have him go the next year (when he was supposed to due to the cutoff as well). I’m glad we did. As the kids get older, their maturity makes a big difference in their classroom behavior, and 1 year differences can be HUGE. You can nearly ALWAYS pick out the younger kids in a class based on that alone. BTW, my son just had his 6th grade “promotion” ceremony yesterday…he was one of the few in his class who earned the Presidential Educational Excellence award this year 
I’ve never known anyone to regret waiting the year and having their child start later, but I can give multiple examples of folks who wished they hadn’t started their child early. ** In fact, I know of one child who started “early” who has eventually really struggled…to the point that the parents have considered having the child repeat a grade.** That’s kind of tough to do to a child without them changing schools…
Why does the mother “insist” he starts this fall?
My brother was held back. He’s 19 months younger than me, but with me being a middle-of-the-schoolyear baby, he was right after the cut-off - I think in those days it was the first monday of October, his bday is the 6th, so within a week of the cutoff. He started K when I was in 1st grade. He was in 1st when I was in 2nd. He was in 1st again when I was in 3rd…
In my present district, the cutoff is sometime in the first week of December, and my daughter is Jan 3. There’s no way I’m sending her early, even if she’s a giant (6’ daddy, 5’10 mommy, 5’9 grandma)
I agree that all kids are different and need to be treated as such. My “ridiculous” comment was directed towards those that hold their kid back not because the they aren’t ready, but to try and gain an advantage in the future. I have friends that are holding their son back based only on him having an October birthday paying no mind to the fact that he is clearly ready, hoping that will set him up for some type of scholarship in the future. They are also holding back their daughter 2 years younger than him even though she was born in May and as far as I can tell gifted academically so that the son doesn’t feel bad about having his sister who is two years younger than him only one year behind…o and the scholarship thing.
Dont know if this has been posted, but its on topic and worth watching.
Do you want a leader or follower? Why put him in a class where some of his classmates are a year older? At that age it is a huge difference.
We had a similar issue, very intelligent little boy but after speaking to my kindergarten teacher sis about it, she recommended we hold off. It’s not the intelligence level its the emotional level. The kids that enter early are most often behind the rest of the group. The extra year makes a big difference. My son is one of the oldest in his class now but his grades are awesome and he really enjoys going to school.