At the risk of sounding melodramatic;
I dedicate my first 50 this weekend in Leadville to everyone out there suffering from addiction to alcohol.
This race takes place just a couple days before I celebrate four years of sobriety.
As I run and suffer, I will remember every broken promise I made to myself. I will remember the feeling of dread and hopeless despair that consumed my soul, as I consumed more and more alcohol.
I am proof that you dont have to be a bum to be a drunk. I am a successful person buy most standards. I built a chain of 13 retail stores. I won national sales awards etc. But it didn’t make me safe. In fact it put me at risk.
You don’t have to be weak to be addicted. You don’t have to lack willpower or harbor low self esteem. You simply have to be human.
I was living a horror movie behind the scenes as I apperared “on top and in control of things” on the surface.
I wasn’t having problems at home and I was exceling at work. Meantime alcohol was playing me like a fiddle.
My family watched helpless as I destroyed myself by pouring booze into my head.
My blood pressure skyrocketed and I gained 150lbs. I was 320lbs and miserable. I was also in an abusive relationship.
I was in love with drinking and I was forgiving it for all the horrible things it was doing to me.
One day by grace, I realized that I was quite literally killing myself. I could see I was lost, despite how cleverly I could spin my consumption and struggle, I was addicted.
I realized I didn’t want to see how low this elevator could go.
My family showed me love and strength and faith that is beyond description. I am a very blessed human.
So four years later;
Clean, sober, 175lbs and perfectly happy.
I owe everything I have to running. It gave me back my family. My health and my apperance all restored not just by grace, but also by the power of the trail and road.
It is a debt I can never repay, it is far too large. I can only thank you, my friends, family and the countles people who encouraged me with tips and advice on racing. Anything to keep me going.
…Sunday I run for everyone who is still in trouble. You don’t have to bottom out. You have power you can’t see in you. You will amaze yourself if you take a step…
Alcoholism was the only problem I have ever run from in my life. Strange that once I stopped running from the problem and started “actually running” things became clear and I was able to escape.
David Clark
