So today I’m suffering from killer hiccoughs. I try the usual thing - holding my breath - but it doesn’t work. Then a colleague recommends a cure I haven’t heard of before, drinking water whilst pressing on my ears, and it works! Fantastic, I think (even if I do look a pillock whilst doing it).
An hour later, and the hiccoughs return. I try the new cure again - but it doesn’t work. And this is what happens everytime I try a new hiccough cure - it only works once. What’s more, I think I’ve finally worked out what’s going on - a reverse placebo effect. Here’s how it works. A cure is suggested to me. Being the natural sceptic that I am, I don’t believe it will work. However, the reverse placebo effect, working on a subconcious level, makes the hiccoughs stop when I try the cure. When the hiccoughs return (they always do), I try the cure again. Now, though, I believe that the cure may indeed work. Once again, the reverse placebo effect kicks in, and I’m left with hiccoughs for another hour or two.
Since I’m still hiccoughing, can anyone suggest more wacko ‘cures’ that I can use once, then throw away?
There are two that seems to work for me. Both are very roughly based on human physiology.
Assuming that hiccups are caused by uncontrollable contractions of the diaphram, the solutions are as follows:
(my favorite) Take in as much breath as possible, and then try to get even more air into your lungs by taking a mouthful of air and compressing it into your throat. This should be done with good posture. Then sit in a doubled over position contracting your stomach muscles. The concept is supposed to be super loading your diaphram so that it is stetched and stops spasming like stetching your calf during a charlie horse. When you run out of breath, slowly!!! breath out in as controlled a manner as possible. Then breath all the way back in slowly and repeat. I have been able to consistently get rid of hiccups in less that a minute for the last 14 years this way.
The second concept uses the reverse idea, and that is to pre-contract the diaphram so that it cannot spasm. In order to contract it you must push air out for a prolonged time. ‘A la’ blowing through a coffee stir at full blast. It’s tough and not fun, but I know some people who swear by it. I’ve stuck with method one.
This usually works for me, but I have no idea if it has a physiological basis or is just a placebo effect type cure… Fill a LARGE glass with water. Take a pencil, pen or something of that nature and clench it between your teeth as you would a rose, but as far back in your mouth as possible (so that it’s pressing back on both corners of your mouth). Over a sink (and possibly with a bib so that you don’t “wet” yourself) start drinking the water at a steady pace (not too fast, not too slow). You will likely “dribble”… Keep drinking the water for as long as you possibly can With any luck, your hicups (sorry I refuse to spell hicup correctly ) will be gone by the time you’re done the water.
) will be gone by the time you’re done the water.