This is my first race report.
King of Jester
I entered the King of Jester 5K and time trial this Sunday, and lived to tell about it. I actually entered the “Jack of All Trades” event which is the 5K run, uphill running time trial, and then uphill bike time trial. The entire day for me can be summed up in two words: totally unprepared.
Background about me: I’m 27 and I bought my first road bike last November (and then left town for 7 weeks and didn’t get to ride it). I’ve put about 250 miles or so on it, and never a ride past 35 miles (yet). The last time I competed in anything was a 1/2 marathon a year ago, and I finished that around 2:03, with about 3-4 months of preparation. That’s also about when I started running what I call regularly.
I found out about this race on Wednesday, and made up my mind and registered on Friday. I never saw the course, haven’t done any hill training, and I get out of the saddle very rarely on the bike. No problemo.
I posted to slowtwich asking for advice on uphill TTs, got some good info, and waited for race day. On Saturday night I packed a bag of everything I thought I might need (clothes, food, water, tools, etc), then went to bed early. Woke up on Sunday, packed the bike into the trunk of the civic (bike rack is on the wish list), and took off for the site with my lovely, supportive wife. The website listed that the bike TT started at 7:30am, and we got there just in time. Got geared up for the bike, picked up my timing chip, then started to warm up. Heard the MC say that we’re about to start so I made my way to the starting line and was surprised to find a bunch of runners congregated. I worried that I had missed the bike start somehow. Those fears were confirmed when this pack of runners took off at once, trudging up the hill.
Shit.
So I sprinted back to the car, stripped out of bike shorts and into running gear, slapped the timing chip on my shoe, then took off across the parking lot, over the timing mat (beep!), and up the hill, about 3:30 behind the pack. Oh well, it’s all about chip time anyway. I had planned to run the entire course and not walk the hills but I abandoned that about 100 yards into the race when it felt like my lungs were going to explode. Apparently I took the first part of the hill at too fast of a pace. Oh yeah, and I’ve never trained on hills. That may also have something to do with it.
The grade leveled off near the top of the first hill so I started running again, and that felt pretty good. Crossed another timing mat (beep!) and then got to fly down a smaller hill. I didn’t know if it was best to try to keep my pace or just let gravity pull me down as fast as I could go, so I went with the latter and just focused on the fastest turnover my legs would allow, and tried not to trip over my own two feet. Got to a second, minor hill and powered through it, arms pumping, chest heaving. Then I saw the two leaders hauling ass towards me. “Great job guys, looking strong”, I cheered them as they passed me. I figured the turnaround must be right around the next corner. This is going faster than I thought.
Whatever.
Right around the corner was THE HILL. I don’t know what this hill is called but it definitely has a name, since all hills like this are given some demonic moniker. You know it’s bad when the pavement is graded like corduroy to keep the cars from sliding off in the rain. I expected to see people rappelling down beside me. I hated real estate developers for ever thinking of building neighborhoods up here. I hated contractors for taking on the challenge of putting a road on such steep a grade. I hated myself for not looking at the course beforehand. The hill was finally done, another timing mat (beep!), and now it’s a 1/2 mile downhill sprint to the finish. I knew I couldn’t keep my turnover as high as gravity wanted it to be for the whole hill, so I tried putting on the brakes a little. My feet made a horrible “clomp! clomp! clomp!” the entire way down. I couldn’t stop if I wanted to. I flew past the people who had enough sense to take this easy, and I was really scared that they’d move into my path and we’d just roll to the bottom of this together, so I tried to give myself as much room as possible. Crossed the finish line (beep!) and the clock said something like 34:30, so I’m guessing my chip time was around 30:00-31:30. Results should be posted soon. I felt pretty good.
Next race was the 1/2 mile uphill running/alternative human power time trial. This wasn’t that big of a deal for me, but I should talk about the dude on roller blades (damn that looks hard), and the unicycle posse (you guys rock). Oh, and there was a dude on a 3-wheeled recumbent who mashed his way to the top. Walking down the hill was the hardest part for me on this one.
I found out that they were holding two bike time trials that day (and it clearly said so on the website, I’m just an idiot), so I started getting ready for that. I figured I’d roll my bars back a little to bring up my hoods and give me a little more leverage, so I did, and then stripped out my stem by over tightening the two (not four!) bolts. This would have been a great time to throw in the towel, but the super nice Cannondale rep took a stem off a Six13 and handed it to me with no questions asked. Super cool. So I swapped stems and got in line. We went off this elevated wood ramp at 15 second intervals. I put myself in a mid gear, clipped in, and watched the clock. Bang. No time to think and I’m down the ramp. Out of the saddle and gaining speed before I hit the hill. On the hill and shifting down and I’m in the saddle and spinning. Shifting down and I’m thinking about pumping my fist in the air. Shifting down and I’m concentrating on my pedal stroke. Shifting…shit, first gear. Spinning. S-p-i-n-n-i…out of the saddle. Focusing on keeping my head level and smooth, bike and body rocking under me like a snake slithering up this hill like Joe (sojourner) suggested. That lasted for about 10 seconds. Body and bike all over the place. Looking down confirms that there aren’t any lower gears. Crap. It’s a crankfest. I look down at my computer and see 31rpm. Ugh. Hit the steepest part of the hill and I feel like I’m going to stall. Someone from the crowd shouts encouragement and I literally scream and mash down. Legs burning. Lungs on fire. Front wheel swerving so much I feel like I’m riding the DUI special. Cranking hard and I realize why people spend ungodly amounts of money to make their bikes lighter. I understand the way of the weight weenies. I need carbon fiber socks. Some dude passes me on the left looking smooth and steady. Mashing the pedals and I finally figure out that the horrible sound I’ve been hearing is my lungs gasping for air. Hill starts to level off and I’m in the saddle trying to spin, but the legs just don’t respond. 42rpm. I see the finish line and roll across it still in the saddle (I pictured this big gear sprint at the end). I roll across the timing mat…no beep. I look down and realize that my timing chip is still on my running shoe. Fuuuuuuuck.
I fall off my bike into someone’s front yard next to about 4 other guys, and we’re all throwing up together. It’s vomit alley. People ride by on their bike and they’re barfing off the front of their bars (that’s style!). Volunteers are bringing us water, and I’m just on my back, staring up at the sky, so happy it’s over, so happy I decided to enter all 3 events. I’m so happy I never had to dab a foot down. Ifuckingdidit.
So major thanks to all the volunteers who were super cool at all the water stations. Thanks to all the people in the neighborhood for having soft lawns. Thanks to DJ Manny for spinning great tunes through the whole event. Major thanks to the RD for a seriously cool race. Thanks to Jeremy with Cannondale for lending some random dude on a Specialized a stem so he could race. Thanks to 360CycleWorks for sponsoring and putting the $10 off coupon in the goodie bag (I’ll be buying a new stem from you this week…one with 4 bolts…and maybe a torque wrench). Thanks to whoever was selling the tacos, they’re almost as good as Tamale House #3 (that’s saying a lot). Super thanks to my wife for waking up really early on the one day she gets to sleep in and yelling at her husband when he needed it.
Lessons Learned:
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Check out the course before you race it.
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Make any modifications to your bike well in advance of your race.
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Know the race schedule.
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Train for the race. You really shouldn’t forget this one (it helps to find out about it more than a week ahead).
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Keep your damn timing chip on the damn ankle strap, and keep that damn strap on your damn ankle.
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A sense of humor goes a long way in dealing with unexpected problems.
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It’s ok to throw up, but you look cooler if you’re on your bike when you do it.
edited because the paragraphs weren’t there on the first post
GREAT JOB!!!