buy her a bike
.
Haha so I am opening a Pandora’s box here, but I think dating for triathletes is kind of interesting, especially for men. I am 25-year old bachelor in NYC so I date a good bit and things seem to follow this pattern:
1****) Boy meets girl. Boy mentions he’s a triathlete. Girl swoons and has images in her head of giant muscular quads and incredible “endurance”
2****) Boy and girl go on a few dates. Girl eventually asks about what it’s like training for a triathlon.
3) Boy describes a typical Saturday AM long ride, discusses the 12-15 hours a week of training, or mentions the distances of a Half Ironman or Ironman…
Boy then stops himself, seeing his date’s eyes gloss over, and finishes the sentence with, “enough about me though, what do you like to do?” Boy then listens to girl.
Try that one. You may find the date ends a lot better.
I disagree.
My finance’ could care less about doing anything but the bare minimum of exercise, simply becuase I preach that it is good for her. The farthest she’s ever run is 4 miles, and generally runs about 7 miles a week. She does some pilates.
Me, I train 10-20hrs a week (well…used to STUPID IT BAND). I never stop talking about triathlon. I’ve put myself in the poor house becuase of the sport and it has dramatically affected our relationship.
She is supportive becuase she knows I love it, it is my passion. She deals with it becuase she knows it’s who I am. For whatever reason, she likes who I am, and a huge part of that is triathlon.
Just like I am super supportive of her teaching and her passion for it. And, I always make time to lay on the couch with her (one of her favorite past-times).
I think if she was as crazy as I am it wouldn’t work, becuase A) I’m too competitive B) we’d never see each other C) we’d have no money.
We’re like ying and yang and it works.
- Boy grows up a little bit and realizes there are more important things in life and a little balance may be in order.
There was a recent article on the net about types to avoid when dating. The endurance athlete (forget what they actually called it) was the #1 worst type to date. It basically said, “the next thing you know, he’ll be training for marathons. Then he’ll want to take up triathlon. Finally he will want to do an Ironman.”
FWIW, I suggest you lie. You are not a triathlete. You like to go for weekend rides with your friends and dabble a little in running and swimming. You think your health is important, but its all about balance and not getting carried away with it. At least give them a chance to like you before they find out that you’re an enduro-junkie.
If this happens often to you… I’m sorry to say, but it has nothing to do with triathlons!
Yeah, what made that river dry up. If you really want to solve your problem, replace your saddle with a length of 1/2" rebar. After 2 or 3 weeks of riding that rail, your junk will be broken and your permanent sexual dysfunction will eliminate any vested interest you may have in women (or dating).
1****) Boy meets girl. Boy mentions he’s a triathlete. Girl swoons and has images in her head of giant muscular quads and incredible “endurance”
If that’s your opening line then you deserve what you get. 
Plus, maybe you just aren’t living up to her “images”.
Whether you do Tri, or road race, or even just ride a lot, it’s very difficult to find someone that can accept this hobby and the time we put into it. Unless you’re a pro, that’s what it is, a hobby. An all consuming, best of intentions, good for you, etc. hobby. But a hobby none the less.
To the uninitiated, we look very self-absorbed. Neither my in-laws, nor my children understand this at all. “You’re going to ride and hour and a half today? You just rode yesterday! That’s not normal!!!” My wife didn’t understand it while she was alive, either. But, I weigh what I did in 1983 and I’m probably the healthiest I’ve ever been.
At 50+, I’ve come to realize that having someone to share things with is wonderful, but it has to be the right someone. Being alone is better than being with the wrong someone.
Good luck with your search.
FWIW, I suggest you lie. You are not a triathlete. You like to go for weekend rides with your friends and dabble a little in running and swimming. You think your health is important, but its all about balance and not getting carried away with it. At least give them a chance to like you before they find out that you’re an enduro-junkie.
I don’t think so, but I do think some people lie to themselves about doing it for their heath. You can be healthy and fit on 8-10 hours of exercise a week. After that, you’re obsessed with something, competitiveness, getting out of the house, self image, whatever.
Not that that’s wrong, but don’t try to tell me you train 20 hours a week “for your health”. I call bullshit.
8). Boy realizes that girls are like saddles…
You have to try them all until you find the right fit. Some are wide, some are narrow, some are thin and some are thick. They come in a multitude of colors. Some have natural materials while some use fake. The only thing in common with them all is that they always screw with your balls…
Damn you…I just spilt my coffee.
I found that the trick was to buy my wife a nicer bike, wheels, gear, etc. than I had. I would get her really pumped about the sport and she finally started to love the lifestyle. Now, if she starts beating me I will just tell her it is b/c of her superior equipment and I need to upgrade my tools!
Not that that’s wrong, but don’t try to tell me you train 20 hours a week “for your health”. I call bullshit.
I’ll agree with that, but I think you can definitely train 20 hours a week for fun. Especially if you add some cross training like hiking, cross country skiing, etc. The key is really to find someone who can enjoy to do those things with you, even if it is just 1/4 of the time.
Jodi
Oh sure, fun is covered by “whatever”, but I probably should have mentioned it explicitly.
But, I don’t think you should be out having fun at the expense of family relationships or responsibilities and claim you’re doing it for heath. That’s the BS part.
7. You date a former NCAA swimmer who is not only super hot, but encouraging of your athletic pursuits and will help you become a better swimmer.
That’s what I am currently doing, and it’s working out great
I think it is difficult for an endurance athlete to date someone who is not into the same sports and is not at a comparable fitness level. My girlfriend is very fit, but she does gym workouts, yoga, and some mellow riding and running. I never see the inside of a gym and do ridiculously long rides on the weekends and train hard enough during the week that all I want to do after training is lay around and watch movies.
We enjoy each others company and have been making some adaptations. She will ride her mountain bike with me while I run, and on really slow days we’ll ride together. We also do yoga together and go on walks together. Even with that, I don’t see things working out for us long term. My weekly “A-Game” goes into my job and into my huge workouts. She just gets the leftovers. I don’t see how I could develop a truly deep relationship with someone unless they could participate in the epic mountain bike and road rides I do.
In any case, we treat each other well and have fun together. I am not going to stop doing the all-day rides and won’t stop ragging myself out during the week. If it works out, great, but I accept that things will break of before long. I think that article referenced in this thread is true— Endurance athletes are the worst people to date, if you’re not an endurance athlete yourself.
-Marc
FWIW, I suggest you lie. You are not a triathlete. You like to go for weekend rides with your friends and dabble a little in running and swimming. You think your health is important, but its all about balance and not getting carried away with it. At least give them a chance to like you before they find out that you’re an enduro-junkie.
I don’t think so, but I do think some people lie to themselves about doing it for their heath. You can be healthy and fit on 8-10 hours of exercise a week. After that, you’re obsessed with something, competitiveness, getting out of the house, self image, whatever.
Not that that’s wrong, but don’t try to tell me you train 20 hours a week “for your health”. I call bullshit.
Our ancestors chased game all day. It’s in our genetics to be active for long periods a day or even all-day. If you’re doing epic rides you can hit 20 hours pretty easily.
Hm… I’m with the poster who said that you need to find a former athlete. My partner in crime is a former swimmer, who used to swim 24hr + weeks and is used to loads of training. He could care less about that level of training now. He’s gotten into tri’s because of me, and does 1 or 2 a year for kicks. He usually trains 2x a week, usually with our tri club, giving us the same friends and some workouts together, but he participates at a level and intensity that is good for him (2 hrs a week of training).
Sometimes I wish I had someone to go on the long runs and rides with, but in truth, he can’t keep up anyway!
I’d say just find someone who is passionate about something. It could be sport, but doesn’t have to be. It could be writing, playing music, art, underwater hockey, whatever. It’s these people that’ll understand your commitment to the sport.
- Boy concludes that since he can’t love his woman more than his bike he might be pitching for the wrong team…
About two months ago my bike was at the shop getting a lube/wash, my gf (which lives with me) looked at the hallway and said: “wow this hallway looks really good without the bike taking up space, maybe you should get rid of it” I turned around and said “the only time that bike will be gone is when I’m gone”. This ended the conversation and it was never brought up again
p.s. This is the same woman that told me that if I do another Ironman I will be single…hmmmmm
Is there some sort of line that works, such as “don’t worry this is only a phase” or a white lie, like “if I qualify for Clearwater or Kona, I will win $1 million”?
Do you really think starting off by lying is a good way to start a relationship? Your problem is not Ironman, its honesty. If you are going to treat someone with with less respect than your bike, you are not lookig for a relationship.
Look for a partner (yes I used that word on purpose) who respects your commitment. It’s not about meeting another triathlete, it is about respecting each other’s interest and sharing values. It is not about the common interest, but compatibility. Two “self absorbed” people do not last long in a relationship.
If you want a long term relationship, here’s the secret - YOU have to respect HER as much as she respects you. Relationships are about give and take. If you can’t (or don’t want) to give, don’t expect it to last very long.
If “dating” is just a euphemism for someone to have sex with, stick with Hookers an “Hos”.
Support Crew
Married to a committed, competitive Ironman triathlete for 34 years and that ain’t easy.
I remember a personal add we saw years back when I lived in Boulder:
'SWF blah blah blah…
and the last line was “no triathletes!”
I guess she’d been in Boulder a bit too long
J