I have a question for the single triathlon guys. It releates to dating. It’s for a girlfriend of mine and not for me b/c I have a boyfriend.
Question: If you are a guy over 40 years old (let’s say this guy is 41 yrs old). This guy is single, very attractive, and never been married. He does Ironmans and is into long distance. Do you think he wants to have kids? My friend just started dating him and she can’t ask him that question b/c it’s too early yet for that conversation.
**My advice to my friend was that he probably does NOT want kids b/c if he did want to start a family, then he would have already been married and had kids by now. **
From a guy’s persective am I right on what I told my friend?
From the limited information you’ve provided there is no way to tell if he wants kids. I’d be concerned if he is 40 and has never been married though. He might be a player or he might have relationship problems. Does he still live with his parents?
I think she is going to have to ask him straight out. She does not want to scare him away though. You are right…there’s only one way to find out. Guess you can’t really tell if a guy wants kids based on his age.
Realizing fully the futility of such a guessing game, based on personal experience, I’d say there is little or no chance that this guy wants children to enter his life at this late in the game. Or, if he does now, the time it takes to date, get married, then have children will put him over the top.
LOL - He’s NOT gay. He’s NOT a Player either. He’s one of the nicest sweetest guys too. We can’t quite figure him out.
Serial killer. Definately a serial killer.
If it is that important to your friend, then she should just come out and ask. If no kids is a deal breaker for her, then why should she wait 6 months for the ‘right time’ to broach the subject. Sounds like this couple is getting a little old for the wait and see game.
Not everyone feels the need to get hitched in their 20’s, and not everyone finds a person they’re willing to commit to for the rest of their life (to some people, marriage is a lifetime commitment).
Personally, I had to find something to do with my time and training for tri’s is better than Nintendo.
The hard part with older unmarried guys is that after doing your own thing for that long, you tend to get really set in your ways. Compromise is difficult.
The simple answer is to just ask the guy if he wants kids. If you feel you can trust the guy, problem solved. If you feel you can’t, then why is she dating him in the first place?
I am 39, will be 40 when I get married in Oct, never been married, doing long course now but that is soon to change because yes we want kids. It just took me 38 years to find the right woman.
With Viagra, Cialis, surgery and pumps I don’t think guys are ever to old to BE ABLE to have kids. Did the OP say how old the female was? Maybe this is a 20’something dating a 40 year old…that happens every once in while.
You just sparked another thought. Not sure about the women, but they have a biological clock. But what do you guys think of girls.
Lets say a girl is 33-37 yrs of age and is a triathlete. If she’s still single, never married, then having kids are definitely not a priority in her life. Because if they were the #1 priority, she’d give up Ironman and be hubby hunting. Same thing - the time it takes to date, fall in love, and get married takes up time.
Off to a meeting…thanks for the replies so far. I better get back to work.
Take him to McDonalds and see how he acts around the ball pit. If he jumps in and has a good time he is either a petaphile or loves kids (in a different way). If he is like me, he is repulsed by the very smell of kids, and he has no interest in reproducing.
I didn’t marry until I was somewhat older and I didn’t want kids when I married. The reason is that I didn’t want, as the 41 year old guy would be, to have a senior in high school when I’m in my 60’s. That takes too much energy. I have friends in their 60’s that have 12 year olds and they’re great with it. Myself, I doubt I would be.
I am 39 and just had my first child. Married at 37
Best advice, take him to a situation that involves kids. If he plays with or interacts with them and they kids take to him, then yes he wants kids. Maybe just waiting for the right woman.
