mv2005, IMO, there’s some good advice on here but other advice that I don’t agree with.
Always keep in mind that you train for one purpose, and that purpose is to race faster. Though specificity is important, there are a few different enrgy systems that you train with the goal of having them combine for faster racing.
That being said, you have to be careful when you see arguments that say “if you want to race 26.2 miles you need to run 26.2 miles” or “if you want to race fast you have to run fast.” The only way to race faster than 9 minute miles is to be in better shape. You can run 5-6 minute miles all you want, but there is no way in hell you will ever run an IM at 5-6 minute miles, so you are in a sense beating yourself up with very inefficient training.
Also keep in mind that your friend who does 6:45 pace for long runs IS taking it easy if he’s a 2:57 IM runner. In fact, he’s barely running any faster than his IM pace. A common misconception is that these fast marathoners get fast because they really push themselves in their long runs. They don’t! They push themselves about as hard as everyone else does, it’s just that they are capable of running faster and having it feel “easy.”
With regard to your training question, the number one factor that will determine your IM run performance is the number of miles you put in over the previous year or so. The best way to run a lot of miles is to do it very often and consistently and to do it at a comfortable converstaional pace.
Your pace should be based off of your ability, not the other way around. You can’t force yourself to run a 3 hour IM time by running 6:45 miles. You, instead, train at a level that is optimal for you which will make you race as fast as you are capable of…that may be 3:45, 3:30, or 2:45.
Use this link as a guide:
http://www.mcmillanrunning.com/mcmillanrunningcalculator.htm
90-99% of your running will want to be ~1:30 to 2:30 slower than your current 5K fitness. If time is a limiting factor or if you have several years of running under your belt, you may want to add in an occasional 20-40 minute tempo run where you get into zone 3 or 4, but I’d be careful that these don’t impact your total weekly mileage.