If you wait until you can afford kids you’ll never have them.
home is where the heart is…you can learn to love an area. more importantly, hows the training where the in-laws live? 
In-law daycare is worth a lot. Maybe you consider moving there for a few years. Once the little ones are in school is becomes easier to get back to 2 salaries. Keep in mind though, you need to spend much less than you think for kids.
I have 7 kids
4 still living at home
All teens and up
Phones ,iPods ,snowboards ,sports equipment ,indoor soccer ,shoes
Food, wow
Live in the country off the grid
Boy are they great ( the kids).
So living in an expensive area is worth 50K per year to you, plus the extra cost of housing in one area vs the other. I don’t mean to be harsh, but thats how middle class people afford kids. Sacrifice on housing, food, cars, vacations etc.
Styrrell
Single income family of 4.
It’s not easy but it’s doable. Designer or spendy brand name shoes/clothes and stuff like Garmin 305’s etc are things other people buy unless I have a credit card fit but then the pain just isn’t worth it. Saving can be next to impossible. Living expenses are tough because you get to a point where you are stable but then car trouble comes up or a major appliance dies. Then it’s usually the credit card that saves you. On the bright side - after the tough period when the kids are young, they get older and stay in school longer. This makes part time work possible and will help out a lot. Also, look in to all day school in your area (really just a couple of extra hours). Sometimes it costs a fraction of daycare and will free up enough time for a part time job for the second spouse. When the kids are little though, you just have to put your head down and go.
The good news is that running and swimming are pretty cheap once you boil away all the junk you don’t really need. The bike can be really satisfying too, I have an old Cannondale road bike and I get a lot of satisfaction out of passing 10k Cervelos. Don’t get me wrong, I love high end bikes and would love to have one, I just can’t afford it. In the end it really is all about the motor though unless you are elite (I’m not, just an average AG dude).
You can do it, just don’t focus on the shortcomings or it will bum you out.
So living in an expensive area is worth 50K per year to you, plus the extra cost of housing in one area vs the other. I don’t mean to be harsh, but thats how middle class people afford kids. Sacrifice on housing, food, cars, vacations etc.
Styrrell
Sorry all, I meant to put this in the LR. I just deleted my original post and put it in the LR.
In response to Styrrell, what do you mean living in an expensive area is worth 50k to me? I never said that so I’m not following you. I did not choose to live in an outrageous housing market. It’s just where our jobs are. And to live in an affordable town means long commutes in bad traffic. Just looked and the average home price near the in-laws is 768,000 : (