Patience with others

I finished my first season of tri about a month ago and all my friends think I’m nuts (I’m in college). Now, however, I have begun to think that they are crazy…I find myself feeling less and less sympathetic to people who are out of shape, mind you I did not say large, I mean people who smoke all day and eat nothing but pizza (the majority at college :))…Any of you guys find yourself feeling less sorry for the out of shape since you started training…

tired of watching my friends sit around and get fat …

Dan

ps…I am still great friends with these people I just find it depressing how badly they treat themselves

You’ll really feel bad for them when you guys are in your 30s and 40s, and that “crazy stuff” you do in college starts to materialize in some rather serious health problems.

I’ve already been through (and hopefully graduated from) that stage. I am not really all that concerned with what others do, I just REALLY don’t want to hear them complain when some things go wrong as a direct result of conscious dcisions they made. I am focused on really trying to stay positive.

I have a buddy that smokes and stays up way too late wasting time watching Stargate Season 1 over and over. He complains that he can’t shake a cold and he feels tired all the time. I tell him “Stop smoking, eat cleaner, supllement with vitamins, and start exercising”, and that basically is a blunt halt to his complaining, b/c we both know he is not willing to do any of the 4.

It would be the same if I went around complaining all the time that my knee hurt. People would eventually say “stop running all the time, Duh!”.

I try not to worry too much about other people, but yeah, I do wonder why people take such poor care of themselves, and judt do stupid things in general. I’m not the sharpest tool in the shed, but I have trouble understanding why people do a lot of the things that they do. My biggest peeve in theis area is people who complain about their health or weight all the time, but either 1) never do anything about it except complain, or 2) go on fad diet after fad diet, and simply refuse to try the ‘eat right and exercise’ method, because it’s just so much work.

At your age, you are still young and immortal, and like TT says, your friends won’t see the results of their poor choices for many years(if they’re lucky.)

You can lead a horse to water, but you can’t make him drink. Don’t be the guy who always harangues people about taking care of themselves. You might think your helping, but they will think you’re annoying.

Good for you, making sound health decisions while you are young.

well, i get where you’re coming from. and, trust me, the same people in college who sit on their butts stuffing their faces and chugging beer, are more likely to do those same things well after college. habits like that don’t go away just because one is out of school. while a couple of them might have an ephiany later on and realize that doing that is life threatening, others might not care or understand that and continue on. in no way do these people deserve empathy. what they need is a boot in the butt.

what’s happened in the US is that obesity is accepted, and when we see an older person who is 60 pounds overweight and with a cane or in a scooter we all tend to feel sympathy, when in reality, the person may be in that condition because they never exercised and are seriously overweight. so, early on they set themselves up to that destiny. or, when we see younger obese people, it’s not uncommon for them to be viewed as if they have a health condition and can’t help it, etc. Don’t get me wrong, I feel badly for anyone confined to a scooter or whatever, but if they tried hard enough they might be able to radically change their lives by exercise and a diet overhaul.

in this country, if you have high cholesterol and high blood pressure, doctors perscibe a medication. when in reality, the perscription should not be a med, but a diet overhaul, as well as a real exercise regimine. this, more than anything else, pisses me off.

but like some other poster said, I have a friend who is constantly depressed. I don’t feel sorry for her anymore because she manufacturers her own misery by choosing not to sleep, to overwork herself, chain-smoke, have negative love relationships, drink hard booze, and keep herself down in general.

it’s all about choices. as I get older I feel less sympathetic towards people who create their own misery. that’s probably why I don’t have as many friendships as I once did–I’m just incapable of bullshit.

“it’s all about choices. as I get older I feel less sympathetic towards people who create their own misery. that’s probably why I don’t have as many friendships as I once did–I’m just incapable of bullshit.”

There’s that, and there’s also the fact that as an adult, you don’t have to associate with people you don’t like, as opposed to when you are young and are basically forced to be with people you may well despise.

My inability to tolerate people who are ignorant and try to cover it up with BS has seriously affected my professional advancement. But at least I can sleep well.

Well, here I go again.

Get over yourself, they are in college, they are having fun, your idea of fun is different, move on. As a former binge drinking, pizza chugging, sleep til noon college guy, I think the last thing your friends are thinking about is what great shape your in, so while you find them and their lifestyle pathetic, worry about yourself, cause they ain’t worrying about you.

You seem to have found a lifestyle that works for you, believe me, in ten years very few of the people you are watching now will resemble their current self.

All of my fellow bing drinking, pizza chugging, sleep til noon guys are now various professionals, with a range of interests, activities, and lifestyles. It was four or five years, we had ball, if you choose something different, great for you, we didn’t really care, we were having to much fun.

see, I was never good at the BS game in business either. hell, half the people i met were brown-nosing, manipulative, con-artists who I just couldn’t respect. that’s why I canned all of that and set up shop on my own. best decision I ever made>there’s nothing like working with no politics and pure honesty.

in the end, good for you. i think many people play the “ladder” and have regrets because of what they had to do to get there.

and, did you ever wonder, “how the hell did you get to where you are?” with so many folks at the top…honestly, it’s scary sometimes.

kitty

…what’s happened in the US is that obesity is accepted… …in this country, if you have high cholesterol and high blood pressure, doctors perscibe a medication. when in reality, the perscription should not be a med, but a diet overhaul, as well as a real exercise regimine. this, more than anything else, pisses me off…
…it’s all about choices. as I get older I feel less sympathetic towards people who create their own misery. that’s probably why I don’t have as many friendships as I once did–I’m just incapable of bullshit…

I wonder that all the time. We are having layoffs right now, and some of the folks getting canned are astounding. You look around thinking, “Well, he got canned because his boss feels threatened by him, she got fired because her job was offshored, he got fired because because he’s under 40 and they are trying to hit a specific demographic average…” Then you think about all the folks who were not laid off, and can’t help but think that a bunch of good people got screwed, and that there is still a ton of dead weight lying around. I know of at least two people who were candidates for layoffs who were not even considered because they are over 40. What? So if I’m 37 and I’m not popular, I’m gone, but if I’m 41 and incompetent, I’m untouchable? I guess there’s more benefit to aging up than I thought. ;p

The only really good thing about being here now is that there are some people paying attention, and quite a few of the people who have been let go(aren’t all these ‘you’re fired!’ euphemisms great?) were, in fact, complete wastes of skin. Unfortunately, we lost quite a few good people too. It really gets a brother down sometimes.

i am with kittycat, the situation in the UK really gets on my nerves for some reason

everywhere i look there are FAT people and FAT kids, wheezing and puffing around (and don’t get me started on fat people who smoke!)

and then everyone is all like its ok, i like being fat i am jolly…haha…heart attack waiting to happen…not jolly anymore!

I am no saint i used to be a right fatty as a kid, but then one day i was like yuck this is foul get in shape. i am not saying everyone has to go and do triathlons or something, just to sort out their eating habbits and do some excersise!

also the point kittycat raises is true here too - i get really annoyed at the millions (probably billions) of pounds that are spent every year on people with self inflicted health problems like type 2 diabeties from eating c**p and heart conditions from the same!

and i totally agree no sympathy for those who create their own misery, they have a choice to make! God gave us these unique bodies and some people just seek to destroy it, that just p****s me off

wow that feels better how cathartic…

TripleThreat, your friend won’t take vitamins?? I see the other three being “hard,” but vitamins?!

hat’s probably why I don’t have as many friendships as I once did"

Are you sure it isn’t because you are now friends with Mr. Tibbs?

You completely misunderstood what I was trying to say…I never tell the guys to go work out and believe me I know it is college and I have my share fair of fun 2…I still hang out w/ all the same people i used to…I am just saying that in my own head I think it is sad when i see my friend put on 50+ pound in a few years and sit around and talk bout his football days…but in no way do I think I am a better person then him just in better shape

Dan
.

There is an amazing system in the human body called teh metabolism. Without hesitation it begins to slow down in your late 20’s when suddenly the lifestyle you have had for 10 years starts adding on the pounds.

I don’t have time to feel sorry for others. I weighed 235 pounds 3 years ago and now weigh in at 175 and just finished my first ironman. We are all individuals in this country and we are responsible for our own decisions(despite what the democrats want you to think).

I am a personal trainer and i get frustrated by those that pay me $40 an hour to work them out and then they stop by McD’s on the way home. Why are they wasting my time?

No worries, I think I got that its uncomfortable for you to see them letting themselves go. I guess my real point was you would be surprised how many of them will come back when they get out for a few years, get a little older, and wiser. On the other side, my brother was a midshipman for 4 years, trim, in shape, wrestler, put on 100 over his first four years out in the fleet and has never taken it off,that was 15 years ago. It keeps me getting up at 5am every morning to get in a workout.

That said, I never hung out with many of the football players, and I was one, after high school, as we all went our own way. I always hated hearing about the good old days when I was 21.

Get off the internet and go study or something : )

Dan, now that I read your post about your buddy putting on 50+ and harping on football days, man, I feel for you (not him). it’s so hard when friends make decisions like that. since you value health and fitness and personal pride (I’m assuming personal pride because you care enough to take of yourself), it’s got to be tortue just standing by and seeing it all happen.

if it so beehoves you, send him my way, and I will put the proverbial boot in his butt to get him moving. he needs a big dose of reality. perhaps if you took him to a football field and challenged him to a 50 yard “football” style sprint, it would snap his head out of denial (because at the end he would probably collapse from breathlessness). certainly would show him the “glory days” are long gone and living in them doesn’t help him today.

you’re right to grow impatient because your buddy is killing himself. perhaps if you got pissed at him, that would be the best medicine.

good luck, kitty

I have people ask me, “How do you stay in such good shape?” pretty frequently. It strikes me as odd because for me, “good shape” is defined by people like Normann Stadler.

Relative to a Stadler I am not in good shape.

However, I just tell them it takes work. I tell them it takes two things: Consistency and moderation.

I don’t know what to think about people who are in poor physical condition. I would say I feel bad for them. I love this sport and the training, travel and racing. It is realistically the biggest thing in my life. I was an overweight kid who was put in a special education gym class for obesity. To me, my (relative) fitness is an enormous gift. Not a day goes by when I’m not thankful for it.

Realistically, here in Michigan where there are a lot of overweight, out of shape people- having good physical condition and the privledge to be able to travel to beautiful places is like being a billionare to me. It is an enormous gift.

Why everyone wouldn’t want that in their lives is a mystery to me. It is so rewarding, fun and valuable.

I often wonder, what do people who are overweight and out of shape do for fun?

Watch NASCAR, for the real active ones there is always Golf, they are thinking more like Craig Stadler.

“I am a personal trainer and i get frustrated by those that pay me $40 an hour to work them out and then they stop by McD’s on the way home. Why are they wasting my time?”

That’s an interesting comment. On one hand you should be cool with your clients who eat at McD’s and need more of your time and services. On the other, their success is your success and if they achieve their body comp/fitness goals, you’ll probably see more referrals.

How do you get your new clients? How long (average) do you work with a person? Do you ever cut anyone loose for wasting your time? Or, if not for wasting your time, because they have achieved their goals and no longer need your expertise?

I often wonder, what do people who are overweight and out of shape do for fun?

They eat pizza and chocolate. To be honest this is some kind of fun - I for myself try to just have a little bit of chocolate and run a few extra kilometers to compensate this.

regards,

Frank