Easy, forget triathlon until the kids are grown. That is what I did. Triathlon is too much of a me me sort. I spent so much time with my kids doing things like water skiing with them 7 days a week. Or attending all of their sporting events. Etc. Did not even consider my first tri race until 39. Then we did relays with the kids. Then with their boy friends.
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Yeah, traveling for work has been a pain for keeping consistent training schedules. Really forces you to plan out a week to week schedule to still fit in everything you need. Especially hard with swimming consistency.
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I dont know man, sounds like thats primo time away from working out.
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FWIW - I came close to breaking 9 hours a few times a long time ago, on a yearly average of about 10 hours week. By the time I was that fit and that good at triathlons, I had been training at a high level since I was about 15 years of age (running) and then started in triathlon when I was in my early 20’s with those peak performances coming in my early 30’s - so MANY years of a huge base of aerobic training. Also note that was an AVERAGE - my biggest weeks in an IM build would be in the 20 - 25 hrs range. While there were a lot of weeks when the training for the whole of the week was significantly less than 10 hours.
When my former Running coach was training for a marathon, and if she couldn’t get a long run in to keep on schedule while on business travel, her solution was to do three miles on the hotel Dreadmill in the morning, 3 more at lunch (outside if possible), ANOTHER 3 before dinner (outside, again, if possible), and finish up with a final three before bedtime back on the 'Mill
Running on the Dreadmill is about 50% of my runs on work trips. I had to go to phoenix a couple times this summer and relegated myself to 100% treadmill to avoid running in 120F heat at 6pm…..
I think generally a partnership between a husband and wife isn’t always 50/50. But we should endeavor to be as supportive as possible.
Couples counseling was a suggestion. But there could be simple things to understand her interests. To dial back training a lot and plan the life together, establish goals etc. This is probably sharing too much, but my father was a competitive amateur cyclist, not sure how long the USAC Categories have been in place but my memory would say he was Cat 2. He was in a club that had a lot of sponsorships and he would race all the time. He would get up early for work, and when he got home he immediately went for a ride. And our weekends were dominated by him cycling, I have a lot of photos of myself at races holding bags of Vita Crunch, the team sponsor.
Anyways, the point here is that this level of investment in cycling for a guy who would never go pro effected their marriage quite a lot.
It can’t just be “Honey, all the free time I have for next 6 months will be training so I can mirror the training of Kristian Blummenfelt”.
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Folks training very early in the morning like @swb384 , @curtish26 , @Duncan74 … Is that something easy for you or you had to force yourself for training at such hours like 5:00am? I tend to wake up around 6:30am but my energy is just not there until late in the morning. I think this related to circadian rhythms and chronotypes. Not sure how much will power can actually helps.
@strangename thanks, definitely efficient is key. And I totally agree with this you said: “don’t waste time. Z1/Z2 long trainings are for people who don’t have to struggle with time.” 
– I have no interest whatsoever in that.
@jots7 Great suggestions thanks!. Amazing you achieved that much with young kids, congrats!. I think the key is focusing in short distances (goals and mindset) like sprint or olys. Regarding the swim: I have a pool at 5 minutes from home so I can make it at lunch time once per week. Its quite low volume I know but is good enough.
@BCtriguy1 : I agreed with you. I have the “luxury” I can train at lunch-time. Otherwise it would be virtually impossible! And regarding my wife not being supportive is not related to my training taking me away from my family obligations. Since my training is really modest and for me family always come first. But I think is definitely a conversation we have to have as a couple. I just accepted she is that way but I never investigate the real reasons. As @Jdcb mentioned I might not being communicating well. For sure I will check on that. Thanks guys.
@Kamarooka336 Yes, that is how I am structuring it in my head: 4x40 min sessions at lunchtime + one “long” , and with “long” I meant 10-12kms, Saturday morning with the stroller.
@BT_DreamChaser , @strangename The stroller I think is the best investment I made; I bough an used Thule Glide many years ago and I use it with my 3 children. I even carried 2 of them together several times:
Thank you very much for your suggestions guys. Things start to look a bit more positive now.
I’ll keep you posted on how this goes in a couple of weeks. Cheers!
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It took some time to get used to it, but I’ve been doing it for a long time now. My first job out of college 20 years ago was working east coast US hours but living in Colorado, so I was in the office by 6:30am. That was a brutal adjustment from the schedule I had as a college student! I wasn’t doing triathlon back then, but I’d workout after work at that time. I eventually moved to the east coast and at that point I switched to working out in the mornings since work started later but also ended later. I was into crossfit back then and I remember the first few months of doing it at 5am were rough, but I got used to it. Once I got into triathlon I was used to the early mornings and so it hasn’t been an issue.
My wife and I are both early to bed types though, we are often in bed by 9pm and I’m asleep by 9:15 most nights. That makes a 4:30 wakeup much more doable. If it was a point of contention where she wanted to stay up and I was always going to bed early or falling asleep on the couch I would probably have to change things up.
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do you want the therapist’s phone number or email?
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@lisandro A bit of both. Probably always did have a tendency to be earlier than later but wasn’t like I got up at 4:45am in college. But even that start time has drifted from 5:30, to 5:15 twice a week, to what is now 4:45 each day. But there are/were times that for work reasons I needed to do the odd really early start to catch flights, etc. And also for me then I found that when the crunch was on at work, past 10pm then I stopped being as effective. So rather than driving through to 2am, I could more easily stop at 9pm get up at 3am after 5.5 hrs sleep and nail the report.
Also for commuting / training efficiency. I get into the office post training by 7:30 latest, and that’s what gives me the chance to do an hour run at lunch, have some food and a shower and then finish 5-5:30. But what is essential is having all my kit sorted the night before. So you get up, have your set/programme defined and just do it. No fannying around trying to get your running shorts/socks out the wardrobe without waking your other half, putting your bike on the trainer or pumping up the tyres. You can be a long way through it before you really wake up and realise….
And doing it this way then you can do the travel before everyone else and the roads are clear, so you save time. You can be at the gym/pool as it opens to be straight in and into a lane without hanging around negotiating/waiting for a space. And most importantly, you’re done with training before all the odd shit crops up that gets in the way. So no excuses. And for me it means I arrive at work awake, and mentally relaxed, not anxious about rushing to finish on the dot at 5 so I can sit in a queue to get home to then go for a 2 hour ride before it gets dark.
There’s a real mindset around the dawn chorus method to training. If you like structure, efficiency and routine then it’s great. Which in fairness now i type it then probably means it’s mutually exclusive with people that like having kids…..
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Sorry, one add for me is that the ‘late nights’ were sitting doomscrolling or watching ‘filler’ stuff on TV. With the swap to the AMs then evenings are more intentional, you end up only watching things you really want to see, nothing live ever.
So it is part of being intentional in how each hour is spent. And yes slowtwitch time is factored into that too….
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I don’t know what your home space is but another thing is to consider is building out a workout area that’s part of a larger family area. I finished my basement last year with a dedicated gym that is separated from the main basement by a long retractable baby gate. That allows either my wife or I (or both) to train while we are still supervising/interacting with the kids (2&4). We’ll hop on the bike or treadmill while they play. Sometimes workouts get interrupted but the older they get the more they can independently play.
We have our treadmill, trainers and weights available along with 2 large tvs to project a show and TrainingPeaks Virtual for us and then another large TV in the play area for the kids. They also have a bounce house, mats, bean bags and tons of toys. Not only does it allow us to double task with kids and exercise, but maybe more importantly it allows the other spouse to get alone time (3 birds one stone). which flips the usual script of the non-training spouse getting the shaft.
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I live in the Middle East. In summer my alarm is going off at 3:45am to be out the door by 4:30am. It’s still 35C + 80% humidity at that time, but as soon as the sun comes up it’s 40-45C so I’m usually home just after 7am.
Once winter rolls around we push the start to 6:30-7am so it’s not nearly as bad but I’m still up well before 6.
It sucks, and there’s plenty of times my alarm goes off and the last thing I want to do is roll out of bed and ride. But once I’ve had a coffee and some food I’m usually good to go. It also helps that I ride with mates so the social aspect of it is just as important to my mental health as the exercise is.
Overall, my sleep schedule since having kids is way different. My wife and I usually head to bed around 9:30-10 and our alarm goes off at 6 during the week day so in reality even when I’m getting up before 4am I’ve still managed to get a decent amount of sleep.
And as @Duncan74 says, being prepped is super important. The night before I prep my bike (pump tyres, charge lights/computer etc) and put it in the car (if I’m driving to the meet point). I get all my kit and put it in the lounge so I don’t wake anyone in the morning. My bottles and nutrition are prepped in the kitchen (I just fill the bottle before I leave, or get it from the freezer if I’ve frozen it).
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Well played sir 
Lots of good stuff here. I was in a similar situation 20 or so years ago and I made it through. While I don’t know that I would say my wife was unsupportive, she didn’t embrace my love for triathlon. She and the kids (two boys, now 19 and 22) wouldn’t travel to races with me. She kind of rolled her eyes at my training schedule; at best, I’d say she tolerated my hobby. The trade-off for me was I did races close to home (within two hours usually), seldom did long races after the kids were born, kept training to about a max of an hour a day with a little longer workouts on weekends, and did sprints almost exclusively. There were back then (and remain to this day) a pretty good selection of sprint distance races within driving distance of my home. I would get up early in the morning, drive to the race, come back home afterwards, and be back before noon most of the time. My best guess is that I’ve done 80 or so races since 2001. Out of those, I’ve one iron-distance, seven half IMs, and only three Olympic distance races. All the rest have been sprints.
When my wife started talking about wanting to have a second child, I sought her approval to do an iron-distance race. I knew that once the second child came along, any long races would be over with. It was a little early in my triathlon career to do a full but I wanted to do it before we had multiple children. She said to go ahead and that’s what I did. I did my 140.6 (the Duke Blue Devil independent race) in 2005. I did attempt a half IM in 2008 because it was close to home but it didn’t go well. I didn’t do another long race until Augusta in 2023 (which also didn’t go well, LOL).
What I learned is to train as much as possible while everyone was asleep or at school (my wife is a teacher) and to train solo and close to home (or at home) as much as possible. I live in a neighborhood with a few lakes so open water swimming was always an option. I did a lot of open water swimming when the kids were little. It was much easier than trying to get to the pool for the limited hours it was open. The lake was always open and I approached the alligators like I did my family – swim while they were asleep (I’m only partly joking here).
I made it work and trained/raced regularly while my kids were little. When things got too hectic and I needed to miss a workout, I just missed it and moved on. Life does get in the way sometimes. Now that the kids are older, my wife is much more supportive. She’s even done a few races the last couple of years and she encouraged me to sign up for Ironman Jacksonville next year. I don’t feel like I missed out on anything with my family or my training. I’ve had a lot of fun in triathlon and I’ve stayed fit (although not necessarily fast) through all of my adult life.
Your family is more important than your training/racing. Fit your triathlon hobby around your family not vice versa. You can make it work.
RP
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Morning people are made not born. There is nothing like waking up before everyone else and having that peace all to yourself. It will feel “selfish” once you’re in a rythym because you’ll feel like “doesn’t anybody else know about this!”
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Sort of related podcast on the relationship between America’s fastest marathoner and his wife who if you read between the lines was pissed that she married someone who did nothing but run and sit on the couch all day. Maybe that’s just a slight exaggeration…
Hi,
imho it all depends what “unsupportive” means in this case. If your wife shows no flexibility at all even when it’s not a big deal, or if she even don’t like that you want to train 6-12 hrs/week, then you are lost. Sorry to say that. Then, the question is why that’s the case.
This! When the kids were born I adopted the strategy of getting up early (~4am) for getting workouts in. It was tough at first but after a while it became my “happy” time. Whether it was getting to the pool first thing and getting my own lane or going out for a run in the quiet stillness of the morning that was MY time. I didn’t do biking; this was before smart trainers and usually saved it for the weekends. Even after being empty nesters and then retirement I continue to get up early. I love the mornings still and I can’t get myself to sleep much past sunrise on off days. I will say now that I’m retired (and older) I need my midday nap or I’m a cranky old man 
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