I feel you bro, I just adopted two little kittens from the local shelter…I dont think ill ever have kids, I had no idea kittens could be so much work. Awsome, but lots of work.
lol. thats funny. comparing the challenge of caring for kittens to raising kids. Sorry man, but you have no idea.
Turn n’ burn ~ mine are 3 and 22 months. two girls. I feel your pain. I feel your pain.
Of course it gets better, but the thing that changes is you. Young children are an excellent, direct reflection of your state of mind. When you are stubborn, they are stubborn. When you come home tired, stressed and angry, how long does it take for them to start acting up? When you look at them with love and compassion, they turn into little angels. In order for things to get better something does have to change here, but who’s the one who can change? Your three-year old, who is simply reacting to the environment he’s in, or you? Remember the feeling when you first held him in your arms? Just look for that feeling. Thats what we all need.
Gaaghhpppttt! Really, I can only assume that you don’t have kids, or at the most, have an only child.
Children aren’t mirrors of their parents, much as we’d like them to be. They are their own people. We can guide them, discipline them when needed, lead by example, etc. but ultimately, they choose their own path. I have two kids (11 and 14) that have totally different personalities, outlooks on life, and yes, personal problems, despite them both growing up in the same warm, loving, nurturing, and stable environment.
bvfrompc had it right – it’s gets better in 17 years, 2 months! Until then, you’re just going to have different types of challenges as they get older like everyone else said. Welcome to life “AC” (after children); kiss your BC life goodbye!
“Please tell me it gets better and when does it get better”
Like I tell he young guys at work: It gets better…when they go away to college.
Good luck, it takes time, but someday you’ll get used to it.
EXACTLY what woofy and klehner and DavHamm said. Plus, it’s all worth it when your 4-year-old smacks down a run to top out his AG (and just about every other day).
You kids ages are the best and I miss that a lot (grandkids - yeah!). We had someof our best times at that age but is also frustrating as you are kind of tied down. It is mostly good until you hit jr. high then the sort of freak out for a few years, then turn cool again in high school. Stay on top of them and let them know who the parent is. Give choices to the stubborn one and let him feel like he is in charge.
Well, as it happens, I do have two kids, and they are aged 11 and 14, and like yours, they have distinct and wonderful personalities, and are fascinating as individuals. When I said about mirroring their parents, I meant they mirror your mood. When I am cranky, they are cranky. When I am stubborn, they are stubborn. When I’m in a good place, they are in a good place. Kind of like grown-ups really. When we are in a good place, mentally, it seems to be catchy. And without trying to make up any credentials, I have a three year old nephew, who when he is with his a mother, is a nightmare. Noisy, clingy, disruptive. He drives her up the wall. And like the OP, sometimes she wants to just leave and not come back. I don’t blame her. The other day I helped out by babysitting, and as soon as she left, he turned into the most helpful, delightful child. The difference is about where my head is at regarding him. Its pretty easy coming in from outside and being in a good state of mind. That’s what uncles are for. My sister is caught in a sort of tired, resentful thing, plus a good dose of guilt about felling that way. She therefore has a tired, resentful child. But either she can wait for eighteen years or more for things to get better, or examine her thinking about the situation, and let go of few unhelpful thoughts.
More power to ya! My kids moods seem to follow their own independent trajectories completely uncorrelated to mine and Mrs. MOP’s.
(btw, you’re welcome to borrow my 11 year old any time you’d like. He’s an angel with new adults…until he figures them out.) 
Actually, I am surprised that not more people do not take a bit more of a holiday from their families every once in a while. I am sure that for most people with young children a couple of days off would be gold, and things would be a lot better when they got back. That also used to be what aunts, uncles grandparents were for. I think i can stay just far enough away from my nephew that the novelty won’t wear off. If it does, I am out of there.
I have a 9, 8 and 6 year old. If you ask me, 3 was the worst for each of them. It does get better…and worse, but agree with others, it most definitely gets different. Looking back on it some of it was easier and some more difficult. Stick in there. There were things each of them did I never thought they would stop doing despite our best efforts. Eventually they did.
Wow… perhaps this was written under alot of stress but those are harsh words. When your children have grown you will look back and miss these times. Do your best to embrace it. No, it ain’t easy but most things that are great in life typically aren’t. PLUS… hang in there… GRANDCHILDREN ROCK!_____________________________________________________________________________________________ “My life is the same everyday and I’m dreading going home after work because of all the drama/stress/anger that my wife and I put up with”
It gets WORSE!!! Just got to keep them busy. To be honest, I am glad I did not get into Tris until after my kids teenagers!!!
They are only small once. Forget about anything for you. I basically only did stuff we could do together as a family.
Water skiing. Swimming teams. Basketball teams. Summer vacation trips. Never once did I do anything for me!!!
Now my youngest got married 2 weeks ago, my oldest in 6 weeks. They leave quicker than you think.
I can now train my butt off, since it gets pretty quiet in the house.
Dav
The only guarentee is that what ever drives you crazy will go away, and be replaced by something that drives you just as crazy…are you being driven nuts because you can’t fit training in, or is it just driving you crazy. If it’s the former, re-evaluate your life. Sorry.
Watch some episodes of “Supernanny”. My wife and I have successfully employed some of the techniques on there with our daughter. They have crazy kids on there all the time and she seems to be able to help the parents get control of them.
I haven’t read a single one of the threads…not one…it doesn’t get better. There seems to be e slight lull between 4 and 8 then all hell breaks lose and doesn’t end, from what I understand, until 25 or so.
Best advice I can give you, find a good councelor, be open to learning and comprimise.
The councelor will help you with the stress between your wife and yourself and how to deal with how YOU react to your kids. Not suprisingly alot of how you react to your kids and your wife has alot to do with how you were raised. Learning to recognize those behaviors gets you a long way to stepping away from the stress and getting things, maybe not under control, but at least learning to deal with the stress.
~Matt
Dude buy this book it rules
http://www.parentmagicstore.com/...Book-NEW-3rd-Edition
solid simple approach that WORKS and it takes the emotion out of it. everyone will be happier
if you cant buy it I will lend you mine
Turn n burn,
It gets better. Mine are 3, 5 & 7 and there have been times when I’ve wanted to hide from them… and then it passes. Different kids have different “difficult” ages - your guy seems to have chosen 3. He’ll outgrow it, just hang in there. And the 10 mo old will definitely get easier. While it’s a wonderful age to watch them learn, it’s also as dependent as he’ll ever be. It gets easier, hang in there. Especially when they start going to school and come home happy to see you and tell you about their days.
And I’m with you on the crazy training hours, except I have to be home from my morning training by 6am when the hub leaves for work, and am freed up a few nights/week when he returns around 7pm. But being a parent is the job, triathlon is just the hobby, and training is a luxury.
Good luck!
RR
It definitely gets better. I went from three girls almost exactly three years apart from oldest to youngest. They are the best things in the world and I am extremely lucky to have them. They are the sweetest, nicest girls around. They are now 21, 23, and 24. They will tend to have the same hobbies that you have (same as me with my father). One does triathlons with me, two do running events with me, and all three love photography the same way I do. And they train with me if they are visiting. They have been successful in their goals so I don’t get to see them as much because now they goto school in New York and New Haven.
You only have a couple of years that your kids are at home. My advice would be to cherish as much as you can the little time you have left with your kids. They will grow up sooner than you expect and all that will be left is memories. Your kids are the only thing in this world that will love you unconditionally so don’t blow it.
It does get easier - not better, but different. You set the rules and once you say no, don’t waver. Choose your battles - if you can say yes, say it!!! When you give choices, give only the choices that you choose. Use a babysitter to allow you to do things that you want to do. When you are with the kids - don’t take them places where you will get stressed out (nice restaurants etc). As others have said - many times what they are looking for is your reaction - even if it is an angry one. If they are fighting in the car - pull over to the side of the road and read a book. Make sure you give them time when you are 100% focussed on them - reading before bedtime, sitting with them while they have a bath etc. I remember times when I didn’t do that and I felt that my oldest was always trying to get my attention. Make sure they have a set, early bedtime - you need time for yourself.
Profound.
I had to give myself an attitude adjustment when I found myself starting to regularly yell at my toddler. When mine acts up, it’s usually 1) he’s so tired he’s fried or 2) he’s wanting extra attention.
I also put myself on the “less is less” plan - I train when he’s asleep, plus a couple nights per week. One less stressor.
Of course it gets better, but the thing that changes is you. Young children are an excellent, direct reflection of your state of mind. When you are stubborn, they are stubborn. When you come home tired, stressed and angry, how long does it take for them to start acting up? When you look at them with love and compassion, they turn into little angels. In order for things to get better something does have to change here, but who’s the one who can change? Your three-year old, who is simply reacting to the environment he’s in, or you? Remember the feeling when you first held him in your arms? Just look for that feeling. Thats what we all need.