I read this on one of the other threads and it’s not the first time I’ve encountered this attitude before. Adult children being somewhat grumpy that their parents were doing this, that and the other, which translated into the parents are spending their inheritance and the kids are not happy about it.
Do you actually expect an inheritance from your parents (or in-laws)?
Would you be grumpy if they started blowing it on fruitless ventures (assuming that they didn’t put themselves or you into a financial burden)?
Me, personally, I have no expectation of an inheritance and I’d probably celebrate it if my parents/ in-laws spent their excess cash on making themselves happy (whatever that means).
I read this on one of the other threads and it’s not the first time I’ve encountered this attitude before. Adult children being somewhat grumpy that their parents were doing this, that and the other, which translated into the parents are spending their inheritance and the kids are not happy about it.
Do you actually expect an inheritance from your parents (or in-laws)?
Would you be grumpy if they started blowing it on fruitless ventures (assuming that they didn’t put themselves or you into a financial burden)?
Me, personally, I have no expectation of an inheritance and I’d probably celebrate it if my parents/ in-laws spent their excess cash on making themselves happy (whatever that means).
Would an inheritance be nice, sure.
But I’d be perfectly happy if my parents or in laws bought a fun car, traveled, ate out every night, and got the reward of working hard through life.
I have no expectation of it but wouldn’t mind the extra money (though statistically we will get something from both my parents and in-laws based on their past jobs and lifestyles and the limited number of potential heirs involved). I think it is enormously selfish for people to be POed that their parents are spending the money they earned.
I expect to inherent some money, which is great. I don’t feel I deserve it though, if they want to spend it on something then they should, within reason.
My FIL remarried about 25 years ago and has two step-kids with his 2nd wife. About 5 years ago he inherited a lot of money from his mother when she died; it’s only my FIL, my wife and her brother as descendents. Pretty straight line for the loot. My wife is pissed as some of that money has already trickled down and it has gone to the step-kids, as well as her and her brother. She’s convinced when they die it’s going to be split up between the 4 kids when almost all of the money came from her grandmother/father. Not to mention the grandmother, who was a real piece of work, didn’t want the step-kids getting any of her money.
My parents have money but I sort of assume in the end a nursing home will get most of it if they follow the path of their parents who all ended up in nursing homes for a fairly long period of time.
I think that my inlaws will leave us money, but I certainly don’t expect anything. I doubt that my parents will leave much behind. I am perfectly fine with this.
I expect to inherent some money, which is great. I don’t feel I deserve it though, if they want to spend it on something then they should, within reason.
My FIL remarried about 25 years ago and has two step-kids with his 2nd wife. About 5 years ago he inherited a lot of money from his mother when she died; it’s only my FIL, my wife and her brother as descendents. Pretty straight line for the loot. My wife is pissed as some of that money has already trickled down and it has gone to the step-kids, as well as her and her brother. She’s convinced when they die it’s going to be split up between the 4 kids when almost all of the money came from her grandmother/father. Not to mention the grandmother, who was a real piece of work, didn’t want the step-kids getting any of her money.
My parents have money but I sort of assume in the end a nursing home will get most of it if they follow the path of their parents who all ended up in nursing homes for a fairly long period of time.
Did the grandmother set up her estate to ensure that the step kids didn’t get anything?
That’s my take too. However, when my greatgrandparents died, their children (meaning my grandparents, great-aunts, and great-uncles) were frothing at the mouth because they believed the GGPs were well off. According to the financials, not so much. The sale of the house and stuff inside barely broke to more than even leaving behind inheritance breadcrumbs. Man were they pissed. Imagine seeing that sort of behavior from the adults in your life and several were estranged due to the experience.
I suspect that my siblings are expecting something out of my parents. Can’t imagine what though.
It isn’t ‘my’ inheritance until someone dies and leaves it to me. If a venture makes them happy and doesn’t make them come knocking on my door then it isn’t fruitless.
People who think of their parents’ money as partly their own are vultures.
I don’t expect any and I kind of hope I don’t get any inheritance. My parents worked very hard when I was growing up. I hope they enjoy the fruits of their labor and as far as I can tell they are (golfing 3-4x a week, traveling internationally at least once a year, eating out several days a week).
My father even told me once “I can’t take the money to my grave”
I expect to inherent some money, which is great. I don’t feel I deserve it though, if they want to spend it on something then they should, within reason.
My FIL remarried about 25 years ago and has two step-kids with his 2nd wife. About 5 years ago he inherited a lot of money from his mother when she died; it’s only my FIL, my wife and her brother as descendents. Pretty straight line for the loot. My wife is pissed as some of that money has already trickled down and it has gone to the step-kids, as well as her and her brother. She’s convinced when they die it’s going to be split up between the 4 kids when almost all of the money came from her grandmother/father. Not to mention the grandmother, who was a real piece of work, didn’t want the step-kids getting any of her money.
My parents have money but I sort of assume in the end a nursing home will get most of it if they follow the path of their parents who all ended up in nursing homes for a fairly long period of time.
Did the grandmother set up her estate to ensure that the step kids didn’t get anything?
I don’t know any of the details. We got a little bit, relatively speaking, when she died. As far as I’m aware it all went to my FIL, not sure what sort of estate planning there was. I don’t think my wife knows any of the details either. Honestly I’m not sure my wife could ask the tough questions as the step-mother is always there, her father and step-mother are practically attached at the hip.
Expect to get no inheritance. In fact, I am managing my mom’s meager assets to ensure that she get’s to spend more money in the time that she has left (which is hopefully a LONG time).
Inheritance is money left to you after someone dies, thus as someone else pointed out they can’t be spending your inheritance.
That being said I expect nothing from my parents. That being said I also think a child that knows that there parents are spending WAY more then they have and that the child will likely end up spending their own money to support them DOES have a reasonable complaint.
I have no expectations of inheritance but I think it is most definitely a reasonable expectation that if the parents have the money and the means that they first make sure they are financially stable BEFORE going on a spending spree that will end up with them not having enough money to carry them thru the rest of their days.
Not only are they spending my inheritance, they are spending half my income 3/4 of my son’s future income and 90% of my future grandkids’ future income.
Ps: my actual parents are dead and the tax man got more of my inheritance than I did. So the circle is complete.
People who get bent that their parents are “spending their inheritance” are greedy little shits.
My father worked hard his entire life, he provided an outstanding upbringing to all of us. My brother and I are grown men- we should stand on our own. Our sister has a lot of medical needs, and anything left over should be used for her care. Dad put everyone else first, and his reward thus far is his shrew of a soon to be ex divorcing him and stealing half, and my sister (who is 32 going on 13 emotionally) treating him like shit.
I told him to buy the RV he wants, move to his house in Florida, and buy a place near us when we move to Charlotte- then travel back and forth to Florida. The kids love Grampa, and it makes him happy to be around them
I read this on one of the other threads and it’s not the first time I’ve encountered this attitude before. Adult children being somewhat grumpy that their parents were doing this, that and the other, which translated into the parents are spending their inheritance and the kids are not happy about it.
Do you actually expect an inheritance from your parents (or in-laws)?
Would you be grumpy if they started blowing it on fruitless ventures (assuming that they didn’t put themselves or you into a financial burden)?
Me, personally, I have no expectation of an inheritance and I’d probably celebrate it if my parents/ in-laws spent their excess cash on making themselves happy (whatever that means).
I know that my parents are planning on leaving behind an inheritance for my sister and myself, because that would make them happy. My dad is not quite 70, which means that he’s got another 30 years or so left, based on family history. However, both my sister and I have repeatedly said that we’ll be perfectly happy if they spend their last dime as they take their last breath. They’ve already given me everything I was owed for being their child, a safe happy home, a good education, and lots of love.
It’s funny you started this thread. My dad called me on Saturday and asked if it was okay to buy a new car because he was spending some of my inheritance. I told him I didn’t care what he did with his money. He earned it, he should spend it. He worries a lot about whether or not he will have much to leave “the kids.”
I don’t believe he is required to leave me anything. He has been a great dad and has provided for me and my siblings very well. That’s enough.
This story has less to do with money and more to do with stuff. When my GM was in her 90s she asked me to come over and pick out 6 of her antique teacups. She said that she wanted me to get something of hers “before the vultures came”.
Sure enough, shortly after she died my Aunt asked my mother “what happened to the teacups?” and implied that because she gave them to my grandmother that they should go back to her.
I miss my Grandmother, she was exceptionally blunt. It was great to watch sometimes.