I got hit on the back of the head by a flying salami (Pitt Meadows, BC, Summer 1993) Hammering a TT during training when a herd of sheep began crossing the road. I was doing incredible splits (PB’s) and the sheep brought it to an end. (Bury, England, Summer 1994)
Let’s hear your true experiences (funny or not)
Rolling down a country road in seriously the middle of nowhere. Come up on a guy pulling a wheeled suitcase. Nothing around for miles. Where did he come from?
Same ride. Get passed by one of these gigantic farm machines, which then sprays us with that pink foam crap that they put on fields before the planting season. I still don’t know what that stuff is.
-C
I passed a parked car rockin’ back and forth and viewed a very pale arse bobbing!!
Roughly east bound, 7 mile road, west of Northville two years ago. Flat out, tailwind, 28 mph, head down, 54/15.
I look up just in time to see someone walking a horse across the road. Near miss.
30 miles outside of the city on a rural training ride when this sedan pulls up, slows down, rolls down the window and askes for directions. They were looking for the airport, got lost, and didn’t know how to get back to town.
This last Sunday, riding through Mesa, explaining to Marisol about the orange orchards as we ride by them, so kid out of the back of an SUV throws an orange at me and hits me on the shoulder. I get out of the saddle so I can ride harder to catch up to tell his/her parent driving the car about it and I see the parent looking in the rear view mirror at me and speeds up to make the turn so I can’t catch her! She obviously knew the kid did it! Good parenting.
Was halfway through training ride on a main but not busy rural road, two guys in a miata (top down) take a left to go south (same direction I’m heading), barely glanced to the right, the car was so close I could see the passenger’s ear hair, so I screamed “You F$^%A@##$%!”. The passenger, who’s head was about even with mine, just about pissed his pants he was so surprised to see me. I couldn’t believe I didn’t completely wipe out. It was only after I had calmed down and finished the ride that I got to enjoy the looks on their faces.
Tom,
OT, but…
You need to add a blank line above your signature line (which I enjoy reading by the way!)
I was attacked by a turkey once. He ran straight into my front wheel.
A kid threw a donut at me (white powdered sugar). Missed me though.
I got hit on the elbow by an egg by some teenager out a car window. Hurt like hell at that speed.
Nearly hit a deer in North Chagrin Reservation on the east side of Cleveland. It was getting dark and I didn’t see it on the side of the road. Jumped right out ahead of me. Missed it by probably 5 feet, but it was close enough to scare the hell out of me…
My friend Joe killed a bird with his mountain bike. Joe’s about 6-6, 300lbs, has the speed and agility of a tortise and can leap like a rhinoceros. This bird decided “Today is a good day to die” and flew across the trail about a foot off the ground; a little less than “hub high” Joe hit him and just smacked him down to the ground … like swatting a fly, but flies don’t crunch-squeek. Joe was really upset about it, very upset, more upset than a straight man should. It made the ride home very somber. Joe played The Cure all the way home. Made me wish he’d run ME over with his bike!!!
I don’t ride with Joe anymore.
. . . I am running along a road in the central highlands of Vietnam in the niddle of no-where, when I am suddenly aware that there is a military jeep following me. Two guys in the back have guns trained on me. Needless to say I am a bit anxious so I stop and they motion to me that I need to turn around I do and head back down the road that I was running on. It was about time to turn around anyway as I had been out for 30 minutes or so. They continue to trail me for about a mile and then drop off. When I get back to my hotel the manager tells me that I had run onto a “secret” military base.
. . . I am running on a trail in some rolling hills near Mt. Cook in New Zealand. Gorgeous open country. I come up over this one hill and there is a herd of several hundred of sheep that I nearly run right into. They start stampeding in the opposite direction.
A. Almost 15 years ago, I was road biking up a large mountain pass in the middle of Idaho. I look over to my right and see a mountain lion running full speed in the same direction as me about 10-15 feet away. Needless to say, he passed me rather easily.
B. There used to be a mountain bike ride in Ithaca, NY known as “The Desk Chair Ride.” The reason was that in the middle of the ride – miles into the woods with nothing around – there is this big old desk chair sitting there. No idea how it got there, but it seems like someone used to probably go there to get baked.
C. A month ago, I went for a ride out past Palm Desert. Some yahoos in a Mustang come up behind me and yell something unintelligible in my ear and then drive off laughing. I shrug it off. Not 5 minutes later, a guy in an SUV slows down next to me and throws a large take-out soda at me – missed my head by about a foot. Now I’m getting pissed. Another 5 minutes go by and an old woman in a Toyota slows down behind me and starts honking her horn incessantly like I’m hogging the road. Meanwhile, I’m riding in the shoulder and it was a 4 lane road with virtually no traffic. Now I start thinking that maybe I’ve got a “kick me” sign on my back or T.P. hanging out of my shorts. I actually stopped my ride to check myself for something unusual. Nope, nothing. I was even wearing a plain blue jersey. Just a bunch of rednecks, I guess.
just a few weeks ago riding near Fort Langley on a club ride as we approached a small hill a lab decides it would be fun to run straight down the middle of a group of 15 riders attacking a hill.
watching a bear watch us ride by up on the old Seymour Demo forest road a few summer ago. he was sitting on a bank about 4 ft from the road eating berries
getting swooped on by vultures while out on a training ride around Clermont (part of the GreatF bike course) What made it even more spooky was the fact that they were sitting on a huge cross which are found on the sides of roads in parts of Florida. (can someone explain why they are there, very KKK!)
i was riding on a rails-to-trails asphalt path last summer, all by myself at about 24-25mph … all of a sudden i have to swerve to miss a CHICKEN! my riding past spooked 'em and it starts flying beside me, but towards me … i had horrible visions of chicken-in-spokes … at the time i was passing through a fairly wealthy residential area … WTF is a CHICKEN doing running around behind $500k houses?
damn food on the loose.
at my mother’s place in backwater michigan out on a 6 hour training ride the morning after a big thunderstorm. one area had dead frogs all over the road so i was bobbing and weaving between the carcasses. got back home and was cleaning my bike only to find a desiccated frog leg stuck to the rear brakes.
riding past fort sheridan north of chicago on a 1.5 lane road about 3 feet from the curb when a horn blasted right on my rear wheel. as the car came around me i flipped them off. the car then slowed down, cut me off, then sped away. i chased them into the mcdonald’s parking lot about 1/2 mile up the road and three fat, toothless, redneck, old ladies got out of the car. i started out polite and asked them to not blow their horn behind a bike. i also apologized for flipping them off. the conversation degraded (as they often do with rednecks) and i lost my temper. i thanked their “fat a$$e$” for job security and turned to leave the lot. the person i was riding with (who only saw me take off after the car) was sitting on the curb and a car was parked next to her. she was watching me in the parking lot and crashed over the curb. i am still getting blamed for my temper causing her road rash.
geoff
And during our bike camp recently in Carslbad we tried to ride from Oceanside to San Clemente. Since 9/11 you have to go via I5 and state park instead of through the camp So we head down the I5 we get to the park and were told to run around by the US marines who were conducting exercises. So we go on the I5 all the way to San Clemente without any incident.
Then on the way back we ask the park ranger if the park is open, she calls ahead and tells us its now open, we ride a shade under 10km to the entrance of the park where upon the same marine that barred us the last time at the other end tells us the park is still closed and that we cannot go through. Its now beginning to rain. We then turn around and head on the highway and get stopped by highway patrol who tells us in no uncertain terms to get off the highway.
We return to San Clemente riding againt traffic on the I5 to take the train only to find no train for another 5hrs! So we ride another 20k maybe north to San Luis Capistrano. We get to the Amtrak station and we were told by the attendant that you needed picture ID to get a ticket on the train! This meant only half our party of 9 could buy tickets. So 4 of us got on after a 1hr or so wait for the ride back to Oceanside, and short ride through a rain storm back to Carlsbad.
So it was quiet the day, we encountered 4 levels of US gov and state bureacracy and their attitude was interesting to say the least.
Getting propostioned by ladies of the night down in Cordova at 5.30 in the morning while out for a early ride round the streets of Vancouver. I am pretty sure they dont credit cards down that part of town!
I’m laughing out loud at my desk. The Cure part was ridiculous.