OT - Canadian Humour

Triathlon Forum
1

Dear Ma and Pa:

I am well. Hope you are. Tell Brother Walt and Brother Elmer the
Marine Corps beats working for old man Minch by a mile. Tell them to
join up quick before maybe all of the places are filled.

I was restless at first because you got to stay in bed till nearly
6a.m., but am getting so I like to sleep late.

Tell Walt and Elmer all you do before breakfast is smooth your cot
and shine some things. No hogs to slop, feed to pitch, mash to mix,
wood to split, fire to lay. Practically nothing. Men got to shave but
it is not so bad, there’s warm water.

Breakfast is strong on trimmings like fruit juice, cereal, eggs,
bacon, etc., but kind of weak on chops, potatoes, ham, steak, fried
eggplant, pie and other regular food, but tell Walt and Elmer you can
always sit by the two city boys that live on coffee. Their food plus
yours holds you till noon when you get fed again.

It’s no wonder these city boys can’t walk much. We go on “route
marches”, which the platoon sergeant says are long walks to harden
us. If he thinks so, it’s not my place to tell him different. A
“route march” is about as far as to our mailbox at home. Then the
city guys get sore feet and we all ride back in trucks. The country
is nice but awful flat. The sergeant is like a school teacher, he
nags a lot. The Capt. is like the school board. Majors and
colonels just ride around and frown. They don’t bother you none.

This next will kill Walt and Elmer with laughing.! I keep getting
medals for shooting. I don’t know why. The bulls-eye is near as big
as a chipmunk head and don’t move, and it ain’t shooting at you like
the Higgett boys at home. All you got to do is lie there all
comfortable and hit it. You don’t even load your own cartridges. They
come in boxes.

Then we have what they call hand-to hand combat training. You get to
wrestle with them city boys. I have to be real careful though, they
break real easy. It ain’t like fighting with that ole bull at home.
I’m about the best they got in this except for that Tug Jordan from
over in Silver Lake. I only beat him once. He joined up the same time
as me, but I’m only 5’6" and 130 pounds, and he’s 6’8" and weighs
near 300 pounds dry.

Be sure to tell Walt and Elmer to hurry and join before other fellers
get onto this setup and come stampeding in.

Your loving daughter,

Gail.

3

Brilliant. Almost reminds me of Air Force boot camp. Except it wasn’t even as hard as the letter describes.

4

THAT was funny.

6

Exactly! I saw guys who couldn’t do 30 sit ups, and the TI’s couldn’t even call them pussies.

But come on, Tibbs, you know that 1.5 mile run was hard to finish within the time limit of 14:30. ;p

8

Maybe so, but not in my squadron. We wlaked everywhere, and that’s about it. Sometimes, we ran places!

I was originally thinking of going USMC*, but really don’t like being beaten. However, we could have used a little more discipline and PT than “Gimme a 341, scum-bag!”

*Jeff Factoid: I was in USMCJROTC in high school, and we would take trips to Parris Island, Camp Lejeune, and Quantico over school vacations. They were a lot of fun, but if that was how they treated 14 year olds, I couldn’t imagine how they treated 18 year olds. Is it wrong to think spending your April vacation on Parris Island was fun?

10

My nephew is about to graduate from BUDS and then goes into his SEAL specialization training. I can’t wait for him to read this!!!

11

" Let me add the detail it was after basic when I learned what Air Force knew about pain. "

After basic??? I thought it was during basic that we had to wear blue’s down to the Riverwalk. My goodness… THAT was painful!

13

ahhh… very nice.

15

haha. Mr. Tibbs, you spent time at OL-H?