Is there some sort of reward for running over bald guys while they are running? In the past two days I have nearly been run over by 3 different women! I don’t think I have ever dated or was married to any of them. In each case I was on a wide shoulder and these psychos look me in the eye and steer right at me. In one case the lady was doing seventy and was so close that I thought I was done. The guy in the car behind her damn near wrecked it scared him so bad, I have a vivid recollection of him saying, “Oh S*%$!” or something like that, I am not a trained lip reader. My training partners make me run on the other side of the road so that they can have lots of room.
So what is the verdict:
A) there is a hunting season on bald guys
B) a Wanted Dead or Castrated poster is hanging up in every ladies
restroom in the South East with my picture on it
C) I am capable of generating that much rage in a woman without opening my mouth
I think there is something with the holiday season and drivers - people out there are in such a hurry - and all on cell phones and crazy. Not a great time to be riding or running for sure.
This theory can’t be right, because they come after you on the bike all the time also. It usually has something to do with the temperature of the latte they are holding between their legs and/or the brand of the anal cell phone their using.
if it was sunny there was glare off your head and you blinded them, the oh S@#t might have been because the driver thought he was seeing the Star of Bethlehem.
The are mesmerized by your good looks and get this desire to get closer to you, completely losing their minds and forgetting they are driving.
I never thought about the glare issue or that I was too damn pretty to run in public. I will now make sure that I always use a good powder on my head to reduce glare (any suggestions ladies?). I will also not run with my shirt off. I am going devise a keg belly shirt to wear when running. I will make sure that it is in the wife beater style and I will adorn it with cheetohs stains. Maybe a mullet wig?
Hair is considered manly. Bald men, who are less hairy, are less manly. Therefore they’re trying to thin the herd by killing you off. I’d go with a nice toupee or wear you bike helmet while running.
Not my opinions, just science (see C. Darwin - Evolution of the Species)
Most dilrods who would yell or are aggressive to you I guarantee are for the most part jealous. I guarantee that the a**hole you is aggressive to you probably has a spouse who has a beer belly and looks hideous naked, they probably wish there spouse had your body like yours.
I would tend to agree its the fact that people are in super bitchy mood during the holiday season. I have never been almost killed as much as I was on my ride today.
Hair is considered manly. Bald men, who are less hairy, are less manly.
Not my opinions, just science (see C. Darwin - Evolution of the Species)
Yeah, that’s it, they could not control their driving because of that whole spontaneous orgasm thing. Stop looking so hot with your bad self! LOL