Yeah, I’m not sure how the answer is anything but, “no”.
Sure buddy, anything I can do for you. Hang up and not lift a finger.
1 Like
I don’t ask people, “ how are you doing….?” Because I don’t care (unless I do). And long ago I recognized that the person asking didn’t care, that it was truly just a greeting. I’m happy to say good morning or hi. But I feel silly asking something that I don’t want an answer to.
When people ask me “how are you?” my answer is “so good!” or “great!” It takes people off guard because the enthusiasm of the response is unexpected. Although people at work have come to expect it from me and it almost always gets a smile.
Did you help?
But he was a powerful person within my firm. If I could help his son get a job, I’d do it. I am not going to miss a chance for some career enhancement just because he and I mismatched on some social niceties. I assume he knew that.
I tried. Made a few inquiries. I was fairly new to CO and didn’t have any connections in his son’s field.
Maybe he knew that too and he was really just testing to see what you would/wouldn’t do.
(or I’ve been watching too much TV with hidden conspiracy and plot twists)
I know I tend to be a literalist and get tripped up sometimes by misreading the social cue. But, in my defense, this was someone I used to interact with a lot, but that changed when I moved from DC to CO. It didn’t seem crazy to think that, with the passage of time, he actually cared how I was doing. In hindsight, he didn’t care or, at least, he was too busy right then.
If some stranger passes me on the trail and says “having a good day?” or something similar, I know they are just being polite.
More likely, he wanted to be able to tell his kid that he tried.
My wife is Asian. My in-laws live with us. I’ve actually lived longer in the same house with my in-laws than I did with my parents. Child care for our 2 kids was incredibly easy; whether it was taking care of them when they were young or driving them to school as they got older. For us we never had to worry about any of that; we could just get up and leave for work every day.
Its not always easy living (for me) with them as some of the things they do get under my skin but I do feel really lucky they have always been there since our kids were born. I think it has benefited my kids as well to have that much exposure to their lola and lolo.
3 Likes
We are talking about moving in with my parents. They live in a large old house that they are struggling to stay on top of, but refuse to downsize out of.
My mom is starting to show signs of dementia. My dad turns 80 this year. Last year I stopped in to visit and saw my dad on a long extension ladder cleaning the 2nd storey gutters. There is absolutely no reason for someone that old to be that high up on a ladder, but, work runs in that man’s veins. He cannot help himself.
I can definitely see how difficulties around routines and quirks and invasions of personal space could be an issue but also, I agree that it benefits children greatly to have more time with and exposure to grandparents. My kids absolutely adore the grandparents and vica versa. I think the arrangement would be really beneficial for both of them.
2 Likes
I get it. Like I said, I don’t care how you are doing. Unless I do. An old friend I haven’t seen in awhile? Yes, I care and want to know how you are. I get your disconnect.
Not to mention the benefits for your parents, particularly for your dad, if your mum has started down that road. He won’t feel so lonely.
Yeah my dad used to get on the roof to blow the leaves off. When he turned 80 we put a stop to that.
I can’t wait until I’m old enough to be in that kind of denial about my abilities.
When the COVID vaccine came out I asked my dad if he would be getting it and he scoffed dismissively and said “that virus only kills old people!”
He was in his mid 70s when he said that. My father, forever young.
1 Like