For all you player haters out there. In case you hadn’t heard, Paul Hamm gets to keep his Gold Medal, and the S. Koreans get to go home and cry into their tiny pillows.
http://story.news.yahoo.com/news?tmpl=story2&u=/ap/20041021/ap_on_sp_ol/oly_hamm_medal
Given the current events climate, I feel obligated to base an election prediction on this result. Therefore, I predict that Sen Kerry will win the election, but the GOP will appeal to the FEC soon after he is inaugurated saying that the vote counters didn’t count minorities as 3/5ths of a person as outlined in Article 1, Section 2 of the Constitution. The verdict will go to the International Court of Arbitration for Electoral Sport (the UN), and they will attempt to award a duplicate Presidency to GWB, but limit his powers to the purely ceremonial. Pres Bush will go apeshit, and start firing randomly into the UN Security Council with his now legal AK-47 yelling “You jackass pansies! I made tough decisions, and it was hard work! I’m taking my ball and going home to Crawford Texas! Yeehaw!” VP Cheney will have a heart attack, but since he is already undead, it will not affect his ability to deliver creepy speeches to the American people warning them of their impending doom. Newly inaugruated Pres Kerry will be so confused by the fact that he actually won, that his face will be locked in a permanent botox induced grin, reminding most Americans of The Joker. VP Edwards will use this opportunity to push his ultra liberal agenda of placing personal injury attorneys into every major court and legislative position, and will run the U.S. govt as a Southern Lawyer Junta, bent on suing everyone for everything. Soon, we will all be dead, and only VP Cheney, the undead, will be around to say “I told you so.”
