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Ahhhh, the CouchBike!!!
I thought you meant this:

or maybe something like this:

I would IMAGINE that with all the padding of the couch and the non-ballistic speeds attained (except downhill, I guess) that helmets seem to be major overkill on a bike like this?
Someone should put regular fixed cranks on one side and rotor/power cranks on the other!!!
When the couch starts to turn, we’ll finally know what crank is faster…
Reminds me of the soap box derby racers we built as kids!