The pool rules don’t allow inflatable toys. My two kids love them so we go to this outdoor pool, which is part of our building complex, very late in the afternoon when the pool is empty. We took this two toys, about 3 and 4 feet in diameter, maybe 4 or 5 times. Last time my wife noticed this neighbor hiding behind some bushes and branches video recording us. As soon as she saw that my wife noticed her, she rushed back to her condo, which is right next to the pool, on the other side of the fence.
I got out of the pool wanting to talk to her. A moment later she appeared. She pointed out the rules, argued that floating toys are not allowed, rules are rules and that we are noisy. If you by a condo by the pool in a child friendly building noise is to be expected. OK, for the rules. We can play without the inflatables.
I asked her why did she secretly video recorded us and she told me twice that the management company instructed her to do this as a proof of our violation of the pool rules. I find this disturbing and a violation of our privacy with two kids. The pool is considered common property.
My thoughts are that she could have approached us before secretly video recording us and pointing out the rules. Or she could have notified the management who would in turn notify us. But the secret video recording is disturbing and I don’t want my kids to end up on some social media.
We notified the management company yesterday but didn’t hear back from them yet.
So I thought to ask LR for collective wisdom about it. I would prefer not to involve lawyers.
PS
This woman lives alone and I always had a feeling that she is one of those busybodies who has no other things to do with her life.
Not sure you can simultaneously claim the pool is common area and complain about violation of privacy. You don’t really have an expectation of privacy in a common area.
Is it weird that she was hiding behind a bush to record the video? Yeah. I feel pretty sure a good HOA or management group would have suggested that she talk to you about her complaint first, but if that didn’t work, photos or video would be useful if she filed a formal complaint. I bet they didn’t tell her to secretly tape you and your kids from behind a bush.
Write the following in the most prominent social media outlet for your association:
Was at the pool with my two little kids. Caught XXX in condo 3C secretly videotaping my kids while hiding in the bushes. It creeped me out a bit. Anyone else have their kids secretly taped?
If she doesn’t dedend herself everyone will assume she’s a pedo. If she does defend herself everyone will know she’s a petty busybody.
I’m in a place with an HOA for the first time in my life, I’m on the board and currently president.
There have been times I’ve told people to take a picture of an offense. I didn’t say sneak around or film it. It’s just the board members can’t be expected to police everything and we can’t keep calling our office manager or maintenance man out to witness stuff.
I do try and get people to talk to each other as the first option and fines should be the last option.
That being said, it’s amazing how everyone is special and the rules just don’t apply to them, especially when kids are involved. I’m not trying to call you out, it’s just a fact in my experience.
I’d show up to your next board meeting and head the problem off before you get a warning. You could even send an email out to board members about your concern. You might find other parents that feel the same or you might find that your seen as a problem, who knows.
I’d ask that the pool rules be changed and that a time of day should be set aside for parents to play with their kids and pool toys. Tell them you’ll remove the toys when you go. Was the pool empty or crowded when you were using it?
If this lady is trying to get a rule enforced for no reason than it’s her being a busy body, I’d say that in a nice way. You live in a community and people need to learn how to live together and not see everything in black and white. One thing I notice is how quickly pool toys get left out, lying around and in the pool.
I’m in a place with an HOA for the first time in my life, I’m on the board and currently president.
There have been times I’ve told people to take a picture of an offense. I didn’t say sneak around or film it. It’s just the board members can’t be expected to police everything and we can’t keep calling our office manager or maintenance man out to witness stuff.
I do try and get people to talk to each other as the first option and fines should be the last option.
That being said, it’s amazing how everyone is special and the rules just don’t apply to them, especially when kids are involved. I’m not trying to call you out, it’s just a fact in my experience.
I’d show up to your next board meeting and head the problem off before you get a warning. You could even send an email out to board members about your concern. You might find other parents that feel the same or you might find that your seen as a problem, who knows.
I’d ask that the pool rules be changed and that a time of day should be set aside for parents to play with their kids and pool toys. Tell them you’ll remove the toys when you go. Was the pool empty or crowded when you were using it?
If this lady is trying to get a rule enforced for no reason than it’s her being a busy body, I’d say that in a nice way. You live in a community and people need to learn how to live together and not see everything in black and white. One thing I notice is how quickly pool toys get left out, lying around and in the pool.
Thanks for your input. The pool was empty every time we used the toys. On the few occasions when there were others, we left the toys at home. We were in violations of the rules, I know that. But there is right and wrong way to go about it, I think. It is the secret video recording that bothers me as I don’t know what this woman will do with it. Keep it for herself and use it against us at the next meeting or post it on social media. It is the social media that worries me.
That being said, it’s amazing how everyone is special and the rules just don’t apply to them, especially when kids are involved. I’m not trying to call you out, it’s just a fact in my experience.
From experience, yours is a thankless job. The majority of HOAs that I’ve either been on or interacted with have been horribly dysfunctional and, as you say, everyone thinks the rules should apply to everyone but them. Being the president of an HOA is basically like volunteering to be the most hated person in the community.
Taking the reasons for why she was filming at face value, I think you’re probably over thinking it.
Sounds like she’s a busy-body, so I’d just handle it on those terms and not proceed as if it’s creepy pedo driven.
I’d just go up to management office and tell them you don’t appreciated them directing people to secretly film your family. But that’s just to get them to try to stop it.
As slowguy said, its a public area. There is no expectation of privacy. It’s a bit weird though. Sounds like she’s just one of those people that causes trouble with HoAs and condos etc…
Thanks for your input. The pool was empty every time we used the toys. On the few occasions when there were others, we left the toys at home. We were in violations of the rules, I know that.
You should leave the toys at home for no other reason than to teach our kids that rules matter. If you think the rule is wrong, work to get it changed.
As others have said, you can’t expect privacy in an openly public place. Sure hiding in the bushes is a little weird but she could have just as easily walked out on the pool deck with her camcorder. She was probably just afraid of direct conflict.
If you don’t want her filming you for breaking the rules, don’t break the rules. And from what you have said, you break them often, or at least more than once.
Thanks for your input. The pool was empty every time we used the toys. On the few occasions when there were others, we left the toys at home. We were in violations of the rules, I know that.
You should leave the toys at home for no other reason than to teach our kids that rules matter. If you think the rule is wrong, work to get it changed.
As others have said, you can’t expect privacy in an openly public place. Sure hiding in the bushes is a little weird but she could have just as easily walked out on the pool deck with her camcorder. She was probably just afraid of direct conflict.
As said above, the filmer wasn’t pedo creepy - they are a busybody. And thinking otherwise is chasing untamed waterfowl.
The reason there is a rule against floating toys is the theory that kids use them, get in water too deep for them, fall off, and drown. And that ruins everyone’s day.
Feel free to disagree with that theory. But good luck getting them to change the rule. Condo boards are generally run by the people most willing to be a busybody and they DO like their rules.
First you broke the rules, cause you feel your special, don’t make up your own rules to justify why, own it you said FU to the rules and flat out broke them. In the process are teaching your kids that rules can be manipulated and bent to work in there favor… Just wait till your teenager comes home with that speeding ticket and tells you but dad there was no one on the road so I figured it was ok.
Second she did nothing wrong (well maybe walking in the flower bed) you are in a public place and as such have given up your freedom from people taking pictures or videos of you. If she was secretly videoing you she didn’t do a very good job as you saw her, and she was standing out in public doing it. Unfortunately in today’s world people wont own up to breaking rules so video evidence is your best friend and thats all she was doing was collecting evidence of you breaking the rules.
Now your all pissed off, cause someone video taped your kids… well don’t let your kids break the rules and you would not have had an issue.
Not sure why you would get a lawyer or do anything to the lady as she has done nothing wrong… well except maybe walking in the flower bed.
Suck it up princess and follow the rules, or accept the consequences (on of which is people will record your breaking the rules)
Is it weird that she was hiding behind a bush to record the video? Yeah. I feel pretty sure a good HOA or management group would have suggested that she talk to you about her complaint first, but if that didn’t work, photos or video would be useful if she filed a formal complaint. I bet they didn’t tell her to secretly tape you and your kids from behind a bush.
I am guessing like lots of pools this one has bushes around it, so to video tape she had to either enter the pool or just walk in between the bushes and choose the later, Partially to avoid conflict with some parent who thought the rules didn’t apply to them.
I agree, except I think (if everything is true as stated), it was bad form of the management company to ask a tenant to film another tenant. That’s not considerate either to the person making the complaint to make them do more work and put themselves in an uncomfortable situation, and not considerate of softrun to make his family the subject of filming. No one likes to be filmed in that way.
If I was the management, I’d have personally given a congenial “courtesy call” to softrun politely describing the complaint, re-iterating the rules, etc.
Give him a chance. Getting proof is stage 2 if he ignores the courtesy call, and even then I wouldn’t ask a tenant to play secret agent. I’d send down someone from the office to observe.
Thanks for your input. The pool was empty every time we used the toys. On the few occasions when there were others, we left the toys at home. We were in violations of the rules, I know that.
You should leave the toys at home for no other reason than to teach our kids that rules matter. If you think the rule is wrong, work to get it changed.
As others have said, you can’t expect privacy in an openly public place. Sure hiding in the bushes is a little weird but she could have just as easily walked out on the pool deck with her camcorder. She was probably just afraid of direct conflict.
This. You signed a contract (HOA Covenants) and now whine because someone filmed you breaking it. Change the contract or change your behavior.
That being said, it’s amazing how everyone is special and the rules just don’t apply to them, especially when kids are involved. I’m not trying to call you out, it’s just a fact in my experience. //
I too have been on HOA boards, and have similarly told people to take pictures or video. And all this talk of skulking around in the bushes, some people, actually most, are uncomfortable doing this, and would wish to be anonymous. It is not “their” responsibility to police this stuff, but they can be helpful with evidence. And I have to say I have been on both ends of this debate, and accept that I’m the asshole when I think its ok for me. I have lots of excuses as to why I did too, only I did not get caught, as I really was all alone when breaking the rules. If I were not and it came up, I would just take my lumps and not whine…
As to posting this on FB or other social media to shame the lady, please dont do that, remember you are the ass here…(-;
And also keep in mind that management in these cases are just your neighbors. Most HOA boards are mostly the people that live there, and they should also not be put in positions to be policing common areas. Almost always violations are brought by other neighbors, and it really isnt our job to stake out a spot to wait and take pictures, it is a community responsibility. People can choose how involved they want to get, a lot of folks will just ignore it and move on, while others are militant. Dont even get me started on parking…
I agree, except I think (if everything is true as stated), it was bad form of the management company to ask a tenant to film another tenant. That’s not considerate either to the person making the complaint to make them do more work and put themselves in an uncomfortable situation, and not considerate of softrun to make his family the subject of filming. No one likes to be filmed in that way.
If I was the management, I’d have personally given a congenial “courtesy call” to softrun politely describing the complaint, re-iterating the rules, etc.
Give him a chance. Getting proof is stage 2 if he ignores the courtesy call, and even then I wouldn’t ask a tenant to play secret agent. I’d send down someone from the office to observe.
I would think they would already have surveillance camera’s on the pool area. Then again I am surprised in this day and age how many places dont
