Needing an "Onion" Headline

The Coffee Shop
1

Surprised this has not made the LR funny papers. My liberal rag has already published 2 news accounts.

It seems Canada has sent a shit ton load of some poopy diapers mislabeled as recycle to the Philippines. Ooops. Duerte has convinced Trudeau to take back their shit.

What say the canucks, eh?

2

“Canada” didn’t send poopy diapers. Some company sent diapers instead of (I think) recyclables.

Anyway, it’s been an issue for a while now and I don’t know why we have refused for so long to take this shit back. It’s our shit.

3

“Canada” didn’t send poopy diapers. Some company sent diapers instead of (I think) recyclables.

Anyway, it’s been an issue for a while now and I don’t know why we have refused for so long to take this shit back. It’s our shit.

There you go letting real accurate news get in the way of a good “story”. so sad.

So your headline then is “It’s our shit”

4

“Who’s shit is it anyway, eh?”
.

5

“Who’s shit is it anyway, eh?” i think blep has claimed being a proud parent to some very young toddlers. It may be that those soiled diapers can be traced right back to him. I think DNA testing is in order, eh?

DNA tests confirm ownership of Poop

6

The whole thing stinks?

I have this vision of someone opening one of those big swing doors on the container and 4 year old garbage rolling out. Nice…

7

Recyclables are shipped from Canada to the Philippines?

Are they actually recycled there or just dumped?

Save the planet! Burn massive amounts of diesel to ship your trash to the third world!!!

I feel so good.

8

Canada’s Number Two Export
.

9

Recyclables are shipped from Canada to the Philippines?

Are they actually recycled there or just dumped?

Save the planet! Burn massive amounts of diesel to ship your trash to the third world!!!

I feel so good.
Yes–don’t know—good point— this is your headline? So sad.

10

Canada’s Number Two Export
Okay. I’ll bite. And the number 1 export is?

11

Canada’s Number Two Export
Okay. I’ll bite. And the number 1 export is?

Pee pee.

12

Canada’s Number Two Export
Okay. I’ll bite. And the number 1 export is?

Pee pee.
Duh! I feel so dumb.