If you have read my race report, you will love one of my non-tri buddies responses.
Here’s the link to my report: then read his. Sorry about the lack of spacing.
http://drlanceheppler.accuwebhosting.biz/viewthread.asp?mid=40&
Dear Friends: I ran a race the other day too. It was called the “Run to the Hot Tub Naked before your Neighbor Sees You Race”. It’s a race run in Eden. Not usually a big crowd, just one or two. Here is the race report (sorry no pictures). It works best if you’ve just read Lance’s latest race report. I have really been training for this race. It is pretty brutal because of the elements and the course. The race is usually run when it’s dark out, so if there is no moon, BAM, you could run into trouble in a hurry. Bikes, scooters, patio furniture, cats, shoes, and gardening tools are just a few of the things you can run into out there if you are not careful or not lucky. This time I was lucky. I have really been trying to watch what I eat, so I am about 1.2-1.3 pounds lighter than I was when I ran the race in the winter (unofficially titled the Au-Naturale Polar Bear Sprint). The course is a lot worse in the winter, the ice and snow can really build up and make it really treacherous. Believe me, you don’t want to be taking an unprotected spill on the ice. It can really put some things in jeopardy. I haven’t really hired a coach or anything for this race. I probably should, but I am pretty modest and have given up my Dunk of Shame days (besides, I don’t even own a wig now). If I did have a coach, I think he would probably be into big easy run volume and probably a bunch of other junk that I can’t even think of right now. The morning of the race, I got up, took a leak, hopped in the shower, read, ate breakfast, kissed the wife and kids goodbye, and took off for the car. Even though I knew I would be racing that night, I still went all the way to the car, a distance at least twice that of the actual race, but I didn’t want this race to interrupt my training. I drove the 22 minutes to the office. I set up base camp at the office and spent the day at work, just pretty much working. Walking to the break room, talking to secretaries, talking on the phone. Again, wanted to keep the training pure. Keep the body guessing. It doesn’t know what’s coming at it. That’s the beauty, that’s the purity. Race Time. My plan was to take it out at a strong pace, keep the HR at about 62-63, not get winded. I ran into Robert Reid and Craig Stadler (Mike Brady from The Brady Bunch and The Walrus from the PGA tour). Totally cool guys, just keeping it real. “Watch out for yellow snow! It tastes gross.” They warned me. Thanks Mike Brady and The Walrus. The Run: 37 feet (11.2776 meters) 0:08 70.9/100m pace 1/1 Walked out the door all alone. Oh the beauty of hitting that stride with a full moon. No one to follow, just me and the elements. Pure. Beautiful. T1 0:17 No Ironman Stealth Wetsuit to worry about here. Got the lid of the hot tub up without a hitch. The Swim/Sit 0 feet (0.00 meters) 21:47 Water at 98-102 degrees Not sure how that pace works out Still 1/1 I knew this race would be all about maintaining arousal control following all pre-race kisses, particularly those involving the Walrus and Mike Brady. I didn’t really have a bike, and I’m not exactly sure how that would even help with the arousal control, but, hey, I don’t even have a coach to tell me about big easy runs and things like that. Probably something else I would know about if I had one. Pretty much just sat there for a little over 20 minutes. Sometimes reached over and adjusted the temperature and/or jets (never the two at once though, didn’t want to overextend and spike myself). Just keeping a good flow. Concentrating on not much. Nearly comatose. Thermometer was impossible to read without light or a moon. Put it down. Just letting it flow. Not worrying about the temperature or the time. Pulled off a 21:47. Not a PR, but not bad for this stage of the training. T2 0:22 Have to reach all the way across half of the hot tub lid to get at the other edge to pull it up. Requires a lot of strength and balance to do it quickly and without falling over. Again, a coach could probably do a lot of good here as well. It’s all about technique and timing. You have to get the lid coming down on the open half of the hot tub and then GET OUT OF THERE without it coming down on you. Again, unprotected, a slip here could be bad. The Run Back 37 feet (11.2776 meters) 0:06 53.2/100m pace 1/1 Got the sandals on. Stepped right into them. Beautiful. That’s what the training is all about. Hit the bricks running. The trail is about half uneven bricks. Can’t lose it on them or get off the path. Moving quick. Wet and cold. No one around to say “good job” or “nice work” to give me an energy boost. Just me and the trail. Gotta own it. Love it when I come in quicker than I went out. Kept the HR under 60 for this phase. Want to bring it in quick. Tied a PR. Poetry in motion. Beautiful. Pure. Got a towel. Big smile as I hit the house. Wife is in bed. No one there to greet me, share the joy with. Final Time 22:40 1/1 1/1 age group I loved this race. Thinking about posting it on the web. Might get me arrested though. Not sure what the next step is. Maybe hiring a coach. Steve