Hi gang!
As many of you know, I’ve been having a great time being back on the bike after years of chronic illness and obesity and I really appreciate the support you’ve given during my comeback. But I needed to give credit to someone who was a big reason I’m where I’m at…
Lately, I’ve really been grateful for the tremendous comeback I’ve made in my life over the last 9 months of my Body-For-Life program… Certainly, I’ve put my heart and soul into losing 103 lbs and getting on top of the chronic illness that has been such a challenge for so many years… I’m so grateful for the support and encouragement of my friends, family and BFl buddies… I’d like to think I’m a very strong man but the truth is that without their support and God’s blessing it simply would not have happened… But in all my excitement about my new life and my new body, something is missing…
My brother Jerry… Jerry was always my biggest cheerleader. In those years before my illness was even diagnosed he never doubted me… Even though at the time he was suffering from ultimately fatal heart disease our conversations always started with “How are you Jim?” For years my closest friends didn’t understand my struggles with chronic illness but Jerry always knew exactly what I was going through…even though he was over 1000 miles away…
When he died in early 2002, I couldn’t understand why God would let that happen. Jerry had worked so hard to turn his life around and loved the Lord with all his heart. And it wasn’t just a change of image. He lived it with courage every single day… Unknowingly to the family or to him, his daily commitment to do the right thing was even more impressive because of the devastation to his body that even his admirable courage and determination would not be able to overcome…
In the summer of 2001, he had a 5-bypass surgery by one of the best heart surgeons in the world. The whole family was grateful that he had been saved… But Jerry knew his days were numbered… We treasured every hour we had left with him, but it was still so hard to accept that such a good man might not live to see his 50th birthday…
He’s been gone now for over 3 years… I know that a natural part of life is death… But in my book, when I finally get to heaven, God has some explaining to do… Until then, I’ll never understand why He chose to take my brother home at such an early age…
So back to the point of my post. I’m ecstatic about my comeback, but I simply miss the person that played such a vital part in making it happen. It just isn’t fair! Jerry should be right here celebrating with me… It’s just as much his accomplishment as it is mine… But perhaps I’m a little short-sighted… Maybe the real truth is that he IS here RIGHT now and cheering me on big time, but from Heaven… Just because I don’t see him jumping up and down, doesn’t mean that he isn’t… In my heart I know he’s been there through it all and will always be there no matter where the road leads me…
I’ve come to terms with his passing perhaps as good as any one can but the simple truth is that I miss him… He was there for me when few were… Many times when I was on a challenging bike ride and felt tempted to quit, I knew he was cheering me on from Heaven to not give up…
I guess the main focus of this post was to honor my brother…and I hope it does… At his funeral, I told my grieving family that the best thing we could do now was to take care of ourselves…that Jerry was telling me that to honor him we should live our lives to the fullest…and that he would always be there…watching over us…and cheering us on…and finally someday we’d all be able to celebrate together…