Mr Tibbs,
I have shown some of your posts to my wife who works as a Consultant Psychiatrist.She is now very worried about your condition.
You are displaying a number of signs, but she does not have enough information to have an accurate diagnosis. There are some signs of Multiple Personality Disorder (e.g. you used to have another person within you called customer john, but as you explained he died 2 weeks ago), however this is unlikely as the condition (although the subject of many books and movies) is extremely rare. Alternatively you may have a Personality Disorder. Schizophrenia (Paranoia type) is also possible – I can expand on this if required. There quiet a few more possibilities some are less serious but may interfere with your occupation, social functioning and mental well being. She can post some questions to you if you require. She works in a secure unit, specialising in severe mental disorders, so she will not be able to help you privately. However, it may be possible to arrange for you to be admitted under section 2 of the Mental Health Act for 28 days. This may interfere with your triathlon training, but judging your training on the basis of time spent on-line, I doubt you do much. I don’t know where you live, but perhaps you should think about finding a good Psychotherapist. Recent research suggests that Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) is the most efficient and effective treatment in comparison to other psychological interventions. A good CBT therapist will help you to formulate the intra-relationships between your emotions, cognitions, behaviours, and physiology. They will also agree with you the treatment goals. These should not be ambiguous like “becoming less anxious” but more clear and easily measurable as “I will reduce the time I write irrelevant humour on a Triathlon website by 70% after 20 sessions.” They will provide you with behavioural assignments that you can complete as homework. A good technique is called desensitisation – you will gradually avoid using the internet in very slow steps until you will be able to cope without it for long periods of time. Alternatively, you can seek a good psychoanalyst, but this will take too many years and you may in the end post much more, but simply be able to understand why you are doing it.
Pluto