There are no easy answers to the questions that you pose, watch and wait for some cancers is the appropriate course of action, many men die with, but not of, prostate cancer and therefore waiting is something that simply associated with the disease progression.
There are many excellent cancer centres in the US, MD Anderson and SK, to name but two. There are strong links between volumes treated and outcomes, obviously with rarer cancers this becomes an issue, as they need to be treated in more and more sub-specialized units. For common cancers (breast, lung, prostate, CR etc) the issue will be finding a center that treats sufficient volumes and demonstrates good outcomes.
We’re currently involved with a number of US Cancer Hospitals, Mayo, CC, JH, Mass Gen, SK and others and in many instances the reality is that theses organizations all provide excellent care across a broad range of CA’s, they all have very good outcomes and all things being equal, two patients with the same / similar diagnoses would expect the same outcomes.
The first thing I would do is to identify a oncologist, radiotherapist, surgeon or physician who can help guide you through the process, be it a friend, family member or someone that is currently providing treatment. Even a family physician can assist with this. The next thing is that your parents attend meetings with their clinicians and take along someone else to listen and take notes. As an organisation, we provide that person where I work, as patients and family members receiving the diagnosis and other information simply do not take anything in, the importance of taking along a friend / 3rd party can not be underestimated and 3-4 weeks ago I ran in to one of the local ambassadors wife in the hospital every day as she was there as a friend to some patients, to listen and take notes and to ask questions on their behalf because the reality is that you can not think of everything on the spot.
I’d want to know from my primary physician if the case has been discussed at a Multi-disciplinary team meeting, the outcome, suggested course of action (other than wait) and some idea on the content of the discussion. These meetings will normally be held weekly (more or less frequently depending on volumes of the particular CA being discussed) and will be attended by surgeons, physicians, radiologists, int rad, clinical nurse specialists where appropriate and a discussion of the patient will be undertaken and a course of action determined. I’d also want to know when they will discuss the case again, and the frequency with which they will follow up.
Out of curiosity, how did they find it and what stage is it? (obviously you dont have to answer that but I’d be interested)
I’d finally look for a support group very early on, I’m sure Livestrong can assist with this, but the importance of this can not be underestimated.
my $0.02