Lurkers-a must read post

Triathlon Forum
1

As I’m sure some people around here have noticed, inspiration strikes me in weird forms at odd times, and as with all most my posts, this one starts with a story.

It all started a couple weeks ago. I was up impossibly late flipping through the channels on my tv. Will and Grace was depressing, Dateline was an old old re-run, so I settled on the Late Show (or whatever it’s called) with Conan O’Brien. As I sat there he started a series called “Conan O’Brien Hates my Homeland.” In this series he alphabetically trying to make fun of each and every country in the world. After he finishes, he gives out an address for people to send post-cards to. This way he knows which countries watch his show.

I though, man, this is a novel idea. And I left it at that, well, for one night anyway. Then it got me thinking, if he can do that for countries, why can’t someone do that for the internet? well the answer is obvious, becasue I don’t want all of you mailing me you “free mortages” and “Medical Sexual Break-throughs.”

So I devised another plan. I’ll start a thread, I’ll make a joke about lurkers, then they will all have to pick a SlowTwittch ID and come back and make a joke at me. (Or you can just post a polite post letting us all know you signed-up.) Posting at this forum is a lot of fun. Now you try it.

On a side note, Mr. Slowman guestimates that there could be up to three lurkers for every poster. With over 4000 posters, I’m not settleing til this thread reaches 12,000 posts. If only one in every three poeple posts, that means someone else could be making internet decisions for you, kinda like the U.S. election process. Don’t let that happen. I’ve also included (just to be helpful) a list of possible internet names that are cool and creative.

  1. SuperTwitch,
  2. Shiny Legs,
  3. Baldo,
  4. ShyGirl,
  5. Tri-Hottie,
  6. FasterthenU,
  7. I Tri4real,
  8. Mr. Smith,
  9. SlowerthanU,
  10. Aero Elephant,
  11. Tugboat,
  12. Sly,
  13. The Mongoose,
  14. Ms. Cheetah,
  15. Polka-Dot-dot,
  16. MyCherona,
  17. Slightly Drunk,
  18. Sasquatch,
  19. Blondie,
  20. BigFoot,
  21. SoftRider,
  22. Anonymous Lurker,
  23. Gopher’s Pal,
  24. Ms. July 2008,
  25. Grandpa Jim,
  26. Rebal wit a cause,
  27. Kangaroo Joey,
  28. Chevy or bust,
  29. Hawaii Misfit,
  30. La Caliente,
  31. TSR reject,
  32. Mavic 5,
  33. Litespeeder,
  34. Trekster,
  35. Giantyouknowhat,
  36. Speelcheck optional,
  37. Lastplace Reserved,
  38. Mr tightpants,
  39. ThongsRpeople2,
  40. My First Post,
  41. NeverShutUp,
  42. Mrs. Afflec,
  43. Gollum,
  44. James Blond,
  45. skinny legs,
  46. Big Tex,
  47. The Bus,
  48. Chubby Cheeks,
  49. Shimanonly,
  50. Zipp iddydo da,
  51. Fuji Cruiser,
  52. Only Schwinn,
  53. FrankenBiker,
  54. boy wonder,
  55. BrickHouse,
  56. aHedofU,
  57. George Busche,
  58. Sammy Adams,
  59. Me Drown,
    60.Fishy face,
  60. Clueless roadie,
  61. Garfield,
  62. JustMarried,
  63. Yellow Hello,
  64. Sinergy,
    66.Red Bullet,
  65. Baywatch wannabe,
    68.Linkin Fark,
  66. Yankee Doodle Bundy,
    70.Toilet Typer,
  67. Mr Obvious,
  68. 2piecehottie,
  69. Cipo is god,
    74.pecks R us,
  70. sexydotcom,
  71. Falcon,
  72. Yard gnome,
  73. Porsche,
  74. talk2much,
  75. fillndablank,
  76. ect

Lurkers…your mom is so fat, when she sits in front of the computer…even the screen wrinkles. Ha Ha.

Bring it on.

-Lurkers unite, rule the world

2

Fine I’ll play.

Your momma’s so dumb she sat on the t.v. and watched the couch.

Your momma’s like the library open to the public.

Your momma’s so old she knew Central Park when it was just a plant.

Your momma’s so poor she had to put a milk shake at Mcdonalds on lay away.

Your momma’s like a light switch a 4 year old can turn her on.

Your momma’s so fat when she got a cut she bled rocky road.

Your momma’s so fat her belt size is equator.

And there is my introduction to the slowtwitch forum, wish I was as good at tri as I am with momma jokes (I have more but didn’t want to save some for other folks).

3

Still 11841 shy of 12000 views. You may be in for a looooooooooooooong one!

4

Why does this psot have over 350 views and two posts? Hmmmm, that means we’ve got a whole bunch of lurkers. Read the post. Then join. Then post. It’s fun, it’s simple, and it will change your life (sorta.)

It’s simple, there’s no better way to improve your life. Join. JOin. JOIn. JOIN!!!

5

Prepare to have my boss come knocking on your door to kick yer butt - now that I have joined my productivity around the office will probably drop through the floor.

6

Not really a lurker, but not an over frequent poster either… I just want to pass on a joke I heard the other day.

Ready?

Q: Do you know why they call it PMS?

A: Because “Mad Cow” was already taken.

Ba dump, pschhhh!

Thank you, I’ll be here all afternoon and don’t forget to tip the wait staff.

Tucker

8

I’ll give it a try

Yo mama’s so fat when her beeper goes off, people think she is backing up!

9

Ok, I’ll play.

Your momma is so ugly she made an onion cry.

That’s it, that’s all I got (thankfully!)

10

If someone doesn’t take Zipp iddydo dah, I’ll be disappointed.

To stay on wheel-based names:

Hed-shot

Hed for the Hills

Bora! Bora!

Spinergy Bottle

Rolfer

Reynold’s Wrap

Lew let the dogs out

Playing Mavic

Renn tin tin

11

I guess I need to change my screen name now…

How about

FeelmyFelt

Felts-r-us

Blewbyu

12

Yer mama’s so fat, she’s got little fat women orbiting around her.

13

Tom D is so ugly he had to a pork chop around his neck to get his dog to play with him.

C’mon man - you know he’d just eat the pork chop

14

Yo mama’s an astronaut…

:wink:

15

Yo mama’s so fat, I had to take 2 trains and a bus to get on her good side.

Yo mama’s so fat, when she dances the BAND skips.

Yo mama’s so fat, her cereal bowl comes with its own lifeguard.

Yo mama’s so fat, she wears Levi’s 1002’s.

16

I’m not worthy to post much ;-), but I’ll play along…

Yo mama so poor she can’t afford to pay attention!

Yo mama so poor when I saw her kicking a can down the street, I asked her what she was doing, she said “Moving.”

Yo mama so poor when I ring the doorbell she says,“DING!”

Yo mama so poor when she goes to KFC, she has to lick other people’s fingers!

Yo mama so stupid it took her 2 hours to watch 60 Minutes!
Yo mama so stupid she sold her car for gasoline money!
Yo mama so fat she lay on the beach and people run around yelling Free Willy
Yo mama so poor she can’t afford to pay attention!

17

With the sudden influx of lurkers this post may inspire i had to move quick to secure IronSpeed, the coolest of all ST handles. Took me 3 months and 4 focus groups to come up with it. I may be willing to part with it for a price.

Andrew (f/d/b/a JohnTheSavage)

Why? Because my name isn’t John.

P.S. Almost forgot… You’re ugly and so is your mom.

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U-G-L-Y - you ain’t got no alibi you ugly ya ya you ugly

M-O-M-A - that’s the way you got that way your moma ya ya your moma
.

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Yo momma so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved!

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hi first time writer, long time watcher.

Yo mamma so fat she fell down and broke her leg and gravey came out!

21

uz mudder so fat…hell I got nothing, other than help you reach your 12000 posts
.