I have a family member on a steroid to fight cancer. she has been on this protocol for about 11 months and the 'roid rage is becoming near unbearable. has anyone else had a friend/family member on steroids? does their personality go back to normal when they finish the drugs?
side effects listed are mood swings, personality changes, irritability but none of the web sources I have found say for how long or how bad the effects are.
that is just part of the drug. my father also had some depression from the steroids as well, to which he was perscribed welbutrin. this helped him significantly and my mother told me his mood was greatly improved and his irritability lessened.
at one point my father was in remission, and his behavior seemed normal. he was so happy, easy going, high energy, etc.
Thanks.
This is my mom. Maybe I will mention the wellbutrin to her when she is in one of her better moods.
sorry to hear. it really really helped my Dad. since my parents live 2 hours from me i wasn’t with them all the time. but luckily, my parents had a second home in Cincinnati so i saw them alot. it was a marked difference in his mood and patience.
my mother called the doctor and spoke with him personally about the issue and on the next appointment, he perscribed it. these days there might be another solution, so maybe you could call and talk it through confidentially and see what he comes up with on the next appointment.
my dad was on a whole slew of drugs. some of them were perscribed to combat the side effects of them. it gets very detailed. maybe there is another steroid that won’t effect her as much, again you could speak confidentially with the doc about this. FWIW, do you know which one she is on?
sent you a PM
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"side effects listed are mood swings, personality changes, irritability but none of the web sources I have found say for how long or how bad the effects are. "
May I suggest working with the current issue of the mood swings while ultimately knowing that the moods will end ‘one day’ when the steroids end…?
I’d recommend looking up some information about mood disorders. These are chemical as well as the steroidal issues you are encountering. There are techniques that family members can use to help the person realize when their behavior is out of line, but do it in a kindly manner. (Remember, the person may feel more ‘frenzied’ but she probably still feels like ‘herself’ - not realizing that the behavior is truly not her normal self. Think of it as “Exploded Self”).
I’d say she may be feeling uncomfortable but doesn’t know why.
Example: When I’m PMS’ing I think I’m “normal” until I watch my own signs: insatiable appetite, yelling at traffic, bad dreams, not sleeping well, restless, paranoid. It’s only when I see the signs ‘in context’ that I know that these aren’t “normal” (23 days of the month). Just realizing that I’m “altered” helps A LOT, and I can be extra patient with everything (and every one) around me.
If you haven’t yet done so, tell her of your concern about her moods. Ask her if she wants to set up a ‘checks and balances’ together. If you are she notice “a mood” has arrived, maybe you can both find solutions (hot shower, some alone-time, quality food, reduced stress, etc) which can help mitigate the symptoms, which will make that mood stand-down somewhat. What would REALLY be helpful is if she knows when the mood is happening, so she can confess, “I’m feeling grumpy”, “Everything bothers me”, so you can both (and other family members) deal directly with the mood.
I hope this helps. If you want more information, PM me: my work with clients has uncovered much about mood disorders.
Best wishes,
Lauren
Tri Nic,
I don’t have any knowledge of this sort of stuff. I just wanted to say that I’m sorry you and your family have to go through this. Cancer is bad enough, but then to have to suffer through the treatment as well. Yeeeesh. Hang tough!
Bernie
thought of some other things. when my Dad was going through treatment, luckily, i worked across the street from the doctor and was able to attend the appointments to be “in the know” about what was going on with his treatment and situation. this helped so much. i was able to talk with my mother about how she felt, and also talk with my Dad about how he felt. and i had the background to understand things on a deeper level (from attending the appointments, understanding the drugs, researching them, etc)
are you attending the appointments? if not, is it possible for you to do that?
the last thing i wanted to mention is that (as you very well know) what you’re mother is going through is very hard. but also it’s hard for you as well as everyone. her irritability, etc, is from the drugs. she cannot change this, or stop it, the drugs are altering her behavior. thinking “he cannot help it” helped me cope with my Dad’s outrage.
and you are not alone. this is not uncommon. my Dad experienced it, and many family members of patients (where my Dad went) experienced it. your doctor can hopefully help, but the treatment is working and the upside is that it isn’t going to last forever. there may be things you can do to communicate better, but ultimately the situation is what it is. (i really don’t believe that the situation can change that much because the steroids cause so much emotional instability.)
as an example, one time i was visiting my parents were while they were here in cincinnati, and Dad was SO irritated, he got mad at simple things on television. just out of nowhere, the commercial for Bounty paper towels would totally piss him off.
another time we were happily shopping in a grocery store and then he suddenly became very irritated in the check out line because the bag-boy had very loose pants on. he then complained about it for the next hour. it was totally illogical and he could not help it. basically, anything and everything outraged him–and it could happen at any time. it was very hard to witness it, and it was hard to go through (for me, Mom and Dad). but it did stop as he got better and went into remission. but before that we gave him lots of space, time to read, listen to the radio (and other things he enjoyed), and tried to create a relaxing environment as best we could. That was all we could do. but in the end, he was still very irritated-but it got better!!! so please remember that, it does get better. (ok and the Welbutrin did wonders too! lol…)
so my best advice is to hang on. and think about yourself, as you’re going through this too. many times i felt guilty for needing my own space, but looking back, i realize how important my own space–away from his illness–was. i probably didn’t have enough of that. if you have something healthy to rely on, it will help heal your own soul. (like tri, running, reading, or anything healthy so you can clear your own mind, and maintain emotional strength)
PM me anytime, i’ll send you my email too. like i said–been there, same cancer too. it will get better, the proof is in the numbers 
Thanks all for your kind words.
And thank you, kittycat, so much for sharing your experience with me. It helps SO much to read this.
Lauren, thanks for the ideas. we;ve talked about it some, but I really believe she has no control over this, although she knows she is more irritable than usual, she has no ability to recognise that the reactions she is having are so out of proportion to the situation. Her judgement is way off because of medication.
"She has no control over this, although she knows she is more irritable than usual, she has no ability to recognise that the reactions she is having are so out of proportion to the situation. Her judgement is way off because of medication. "
Sure, I see, and I read Kittycat’s post also.
I agree with KC that you may have to keep telling yourself that she can’t help it… Maybe her judgment is off but there ARE things she can do which help reduce the irritation (just what KC said about making a nice atmosphere with relaxation) and ALSO to be aware when she says something COMPLETELY out of line, especially when it hurts someone badly. You can help her learn when she says these things.
Example: if you (or I) were “altered” and someone says, “The word ‘purple’ really hurts me”, if we loved that person we’d try not to say it, even if we didn’t know why ‘purple’ was so painful. That’s what it may be like with your loved one: sometimes her judgment may be impaired but you may be able to teach her ‘patterning’ to keep some words at bay.
I agree with Kittycat that perhaps the family may not know ‘what exactly’ will set her off (KC’s example were the pants of someone in a store), but she should be told what is hurtful and what is not. She may stay irritable and negative – it probably hurts FAR MORE on the ‘inside’ (mentally and physically) than you see/hear on the outside… someone told me once that “‘Irritation’ is ‘anger’ turned INWARD”.
The invitation is still open if you want info on mood issues.
Best wishes, and I hope you-all get through it ok,
Lauren
“it was serious, painful, and real…not a tale.”
I’m sorry, kittycat… I didn’t mean it like that. Of course I know it was real, and painful, and serious. My deepest apologies. I used the wrong word, and I didn’t mean to in any way imply falsehood.
I’m going to edit the word but please take my sincerest regrets.
Lauren
it’s all good, i understand what you were trying to say now! no worries!
My oldest son is two thirds of the way through his protocal for relapsed Acute Lymphoblastic Leukemia. One of the drugs he gets a 5 day pulse of is dexamethasone. Turns him into an absolute biatch to live with for those days. We come close to wanting to box him up and let him out at the end of the 5 days. He totally has no control over it and you need to keep reminding him/yourself of that fact.
Keep your chin up.
Jim
Thanks Jim, that is what I am learning. At least it sounds like other people who have had family members on this treatment say they go back to their normal personality when it is over.
My mom is also on cycled dexamethasone (decadron) for multiple myeloma. it is the worst when she is going through withdrawl, on the weekends, and better M-Thurs. Then she seems to have no recollection of the state of mind she was in over then weekend. It is not one thing that sets her off, it is not anything we can anticipate (although somehow I get the least of it and my brother and especially my dad get the worst of it directed at them…)
Best wishes to your son and to your family!