Love and marriage is supposed to be wonderful… one of the great joys in life.
But … most (not all) of the married people I know…
Are simply weak, emotionally defective people, that can’t survive on their own. Marriage and relationships are some kind of crutch. These people might complain about things. But the moment the relationship ends, they immediately start anew- in an equally fvcked up relationship.
Sure – I know a few emotionally strong, and health people - in committed relationships. But these people are NOT the majority. And oddly these people seem more ambivalent about the value of their relationships.
And more resilient when the relationships end.
On the other hand… a lot of single people do seem to become “extremely odd” in the end.
Are simply weak, emotionally defective people, that can’t survive on their own. Marriage and relationships are some kind of crutch. These people might complain about things. But the moment the relationship ends, they immediately start anew- in an equally fvcked up relationship.
On the other hand… a lot of single people do seem to become “extremely odd” in the end.
So…
What is the answer?
For men, stay single until aged 40, then get married.
Love and marriage is supposed to be wonderful… one of the great joys in life.
But … most (not all) of the married people I know…
Are simply weak, emotionally defective people, that can’t survive on their own. Marriage and relationships are some kind of crutch. These people might complain about things. But the moment the relationship ends, they immediately start anew- in an equally fvcked up relationship.
Sure – I know a few emotionally strong, and health people - in committed relationships. But these people are NOT the majority. And oddly these people seem more ambivalent about the value of their relationships.
And more resilient when the relationships end.
On the other hand… a lot of single people do seem to become “extremely odd” in the end.
So…
What is the answer?
I think that may be true in some cases, but certainly not in every case. Read somewhere that it was estimated that only one third of marriages where genuinely happy.
Are you looking for affirmation that just because you can’t get someone to dig you enough to get married, that there’s nothing wrong w/ you? If so, congrats, you win!
Are you looking for affirmation that just because you can’t get someone to dig you enough to get married, that there’s nothing wrong w/ you? If so, congrats, you win!
Did you mean to reply to me? Because if so, I’ve been married. And engaged a 2nd time but called it off because she was psycho. I’m perfectly happy in the relationship I have with my girlfriend currently. Third time is the charm!!!
Are simply weak, emotionally defective people, that can’t survive on their own. Marriage and relationships are some kind of crutch. These people might complain about things. But the moment the relationship ends, they immediately start anew- in an equally fvcked up relationship.
On the other hand… a lot of single people do seem to become “extremely odd” in the end.
So…
What is the answer?
For men, stay single until aged 40, then get married.
Are you looking for affirmation that just because you can’t get someone to dig you enough to get married, that there’s nothing wrong w/ you? If so, congrats, you win!
If he is replying to me…
I was married.
Got divorced.
Raised two kids by myself. (As in I had/have sole custody).
Saved a couple of million dollars.
Won a few triathlons.
Won my AG in a lot of other triathlons.
Cooked, cleaned, fixed everything all by myself.
Even wasted time here.
But - my kids are off to college soon.
That will give me more free time.
Just wondering if I want to date at all.
I see lost of fvcked up relationships.
What phases me more though- is that the people that are in seemingly healthy relationships, are often even more ambivalent than the people in messed up relationships.
I find all people in a state of misery. As a Buddhist you know that is our condition. For every miserable married person I know, I know a miserable single person. For every miserable religious person I know a miserable atheist. So on and so on.
Preach it. That’s what perplexes me about some approaches to religion – rather than showing that we can still have life and unity together in spite of our shared lack/misery/pain, it’s often commandeered by those who preach a message that faith/religion is the antidote to pull one out of pain & misery, making people mask the very pain they’re in that could unite them in shared unity to others. I just don’t get it.
I find all people in a state of misery. As a Buddhist you know that is our condition. For every miserable married person I know, I know a miserable single person. For every miserable religious person I know a miserable atheist. So on and so on.
I find all people in a state of misery. As a Buddhist you know that is our condition. For every miserable married person I know, I know a miserable single person. For every miserable religious person I know a miserable atheist. So on and so on.
Then should I try to date a neurotic woman?
I might be miserable.
But at least it would make time drag on forever?
That is why I like hard workouts. They suck but they seem to last forever.
That sounded like a joke at the start.
But no.
That was rather deep.
So …You needs to shackle yourself to a damaged person… so that the damaged person can show you how damage you are…and force you to fix yourself… and in exchange the other damaged person will fix themselves.
Sounds positive and plausible.
That would also explains why perpetually single people seem to become progressively stranger, and stranger.
No one forcing them to reevaluate themselves:
But I am still unsure.
This doesn’t jibe, however, with the observation that many people seem to do the opposite.
Many married people think:
“This person has to accept me anyway … so why change?”
Or
“I am awesome the fact that XXX likes me proves it.”
Are you looking for affirmation that just because you can’t get someone to dig you enough to get married, that there’s nothing wrong w/ you? If so, congrats, you win!
If he is replying to me…
I was married.
Got divorced.
Raised two kids by myself. (As in I had/have sole custody).
Saved a couple of million dollars.
Won a few triathlons.
Won my AG in a lot of other triathlons.
Cooked, cleaned, fixed everything all by myself.
Even wasted time here.
But - my kids are off to college soon.
That will give me more free time.
Just wondering if I want to date at all.
I see lost of fvcked up relationships.
What phases me more though- is that the people that are in seemingly healthy relationships, are often even more ambivalent than the people in messed up relationships.
I love being married so far and I’d hardly describe either my wife or myself as mentally weak. Personally I had to go through a lot of chaff to find the right woman for me. In your situation there’s nothing wrong with dating. If you like a new model ever 6 months you can do that, if you find someone that’s a good fit you can cohabitation or get married and if you hate it then stop. There’s really no downside to giving it a couple of tries though.
You need to marry someone who’s hot to you; likes to fuck you as much as you like to fuck her; seems smart and funny to you; is forgiving of your faults and has faults that you can forgive; and who agrees with you and with whom you agree on major issues like money management, how to raise kids, where to live, and who is going to make the money. It’d be nice if you shared some interests too, but if not you need to be able to support hers and she yours.
All that’s not easy to accomplish. But if you do it’s fricking awesome!
