So I’ve always loved christmas. Last year was the first year I had my own house and I went huge. This year, no tree, hardly anything that would even remind you its that time of the year. I was going to start decorating. Then I was in the hospital again for a few days, I’ve felt like shit for 4 weeks now. My doctors have no idea what is wrong with me. They all keep telling me something is wrong with my heart, but no one can figure out what. I’ve been fighting nonstop with my mom, I can’t even hardly talk to her. The girl that I’ve been kinda seeing pretty much more or less broke my hopes the other night. I am just over christmas. I am thinking of not going to my parents or seeing anyone on christmas. Anyone ever do that? Just hide out in your house alone for christmas? Sorry for sounding like a cry baby, its just been a bad month.
Go volunteer at your local soup kitchen on Christmas Day. After feeding those people you may realize just how good you have it.
Seriously, just look at all you have. You’re still living, heart problems and all. What if you knew this was going to be your last Christmas? Think you’d like to see your folks or that they would like to see you? Wallowing in self pity is unlikely to make you feel any better. Get out there and enjoy yourself - even if you have to force yourself to do it.
I’m sorry for everything that’s gone wrong; it sucks that it came at a holiday time. Christmas is just a day – do whatever you want even if that’s nothing.
And although I’ve never put much stock in thinking of bad things to try to make me feel better, to put your situation in perspective, think of shumanmo whose son is missing, think of those Oregon climbers’ wives who are mourning the loss of their husbands, think of families who are just receiving word that a loved one has died in Iraq. You’re going to find the right woman. You may be fighting with your mom, but at least you know where she is and she knows where you are. You have food and a nice place to live. Whether it seems like it now or not, you have a lot to be thankful for.
P.S. My sister will be spending Christmas alone this year – she and her husband have separated and he’s off in Scotland caring for his mother. It’s a tough time, but I know she’ll get through it. And so will you.
CW,
I don’t know if I can help, but I can empathize. My mom was killed in an accident and died December 19th, 1963. I was only 8 and I really didn’t understand it. It never bothered me at Christmas time as I grew up, but I’d say that in the last 8-10 years I’ve experienced melancholy from Thanksgiving on. Fast forward to this year. I’m somewhere past midway in my divorce, my wife dropped me from her state insurance plan back in October (effective 12/31/06), but I wasn’t worried, I figured that I would COBRA it at the end of the year. I called the state to invoke my COBRA rights and they tell me to bugger off - I’m not eligible for COBRA! Since I have a pre-existing condition, I am virtually uninsurable! Add to that, the loss of income as clients schedule and then cancel appointments at the last minute. I’m close to at my wits end. It is all I can do to tell myself to do something. Anything. Then do something else. Think positive thoughts and squelch negative thoughts. Try yelling “STOP, STOP, STOP!!!” when your head goes to its unhappy place. Get mad! Get some exercise, even if it’s short and mild. I’ve spun on my bike trainer for 5 minutes a day and walked the dogs around the neighborhood. As the OP said, volunteer in a food line - it will help with perspective. Just don’t allow your self to sink into the depths on depression. You have a choice. Make it.
I’ve had good Christmas’s and bad ones. Chalk this up to a bad one and go be with your parents. It’s just a phase you are going though which gets magnified at Christmas time. If we went from thanksgiving to new years, that would be ok with me. Things will get better - hang in there.
Ah, the other joys of being single. All things considered, it might not be a bad year to take a week and go ski for the holidays. Next year, you will more than likely be back in the spirit. THis way, you won’t aggravate other people this year, and next year you will appreciate having had the opportunity to ski the year before. You just got to learn to roll with the punches.
Sorry to hear all of this. In the end, you have to do what is the best for you, but if you think about it, I’m sure you will know what that is.
It’s going to be a mellow Christmas here without my mom. We just got back from the relatives gathering, so tonight will be really small–just me and my dad, while my brother goes off to his SO’ers house with her family. I’d rather be in Hawaii, but I’m glad I’m here with my dad.
clm
“its just been a bad month.”
That’s pretty much it, and yours just happened to be at Christmas time. No pressure to enjoy Christmas, and next year is liable to be great. The only loss is that because of the timing, you miss out on your natural enjoyment of this season. Sorry for that. Go somewhere that has a big spread of one of those Dicken’s villages and just take in all the people, Christmas decorated shops, and the like. I love those things, everything is right, cheerful, and happy. There’s no “Mugger” figurine, or slum houses. 
well, i’m sorry it’s going like this. it can suck no doubt about it. the only way i’ve felt better this year is (believe it or not) by staying sober! i never realized how getting tanked actually enhanced my crappy holiday moods.
but for you, just roll with it. sometimes it seems we can pressure ourselves to “enjoy the season” when we really don’t feel like like doing that.
Christmas is about the birth of Christ. somewhere along the way we put “man’s” ideas and expectations behind it and IMO that’s where it all went wrong (because we end up pressured one way or another). it’s a religious holiday, celebrating baby Jesus. if you are into that, then think about that. if your’e not into that, then don’t pressure yourself to celebrate.
i’ve been there myself with my parental units and one piece of advice i have for you is to keep on a schedule. visit with them for a couple of hours and get yourself home to listen to favorite music, read or do whatever you like to chill out. it is one day–you don’t have to buy into the hype that capitalism puts on us (with endless presents and the way we should “feel” at Christmas time and everything.)
as for your health condition, i wish you the best. i don’t know what’s wrong, but will keep you in my prayers and thoughts.
the second piece of advice is in relation to prayer, and i don’t know if you’re into that or not, but either way i can tell you that’s the best thing i’ve found for all problems. it’s been the most positive force in my life…
as for the woman, it may suck now, but ultimately you know it’s better. you won’t feel sad about that forever. enjoy the moments as best you can. really, that’s all we have in life!
best to you,
kitty
How are you doing?
How are you doing?
Thanks for asking. Well, I hate sitting on here bitching and crying. But, I tried to be nice on xmas eve, so I went to my moms house. I managed to go all night with out arguing with anyone. I’ve been fighting with her about my brother, he’s less then a good person. I just gave up on having a relationship with him. So my mom has been hassling me about it. But, I did manage to go exactly 7 minutes xmas day before she picked a fight with me. Oh well, as for my health. Still nothing good. I went today for more testing and hopefully they can find the blockage and do something about it. I decided that xmas is just another day of the year, and it is overrated.
The big thing I think for me. I had a really bad spinal cord injury and was paralyzed for a few months and spent about 3 months in the hosipal about 3 1/2 years ago. I still have a lot of issues with that, mental and physical, I just haven’t really gotten over or dealt with how I really need to.
I decided that xmas is just another day of the year, and it is overrated.
I am with you on that. I got up this morning and went to work and it was like a heavy burden was lifted from my shoulders.
How are you doing?
Thanks for asking. Well, I hate sitting on here bitching and crying. But, I tried to be nice on xmas eve, so I went to my moms house. I managed to go all night with out arguing with anyone. I’ve been fighting with her about my brother, he’s less then a good person. I just gave up on having a relationship with him. So my mom has been hassling me about it. But, I did manage to go exactly 7 minutes xmas day before she picked a fight with me. Oh well, as for my health. Still nothing good. I went today for more testing and hopefully they can find the blockage and do something about it. I decided that xmas is just another day of the year, and it is overrated.
The big thing I think for me. I had a really bad spinal cord injury and was paralyzed for a few months and spent about 3 months in the hosipal about 3 1/2 years ago. I still have a lot of issues with that, mental and physical, I just haven’t really gotten over or dealt with how I really need to.
Hey Matt,
I’d like to suggest that you contact the Kate Kimberley Foundation http://katekimberlyfoundation.org/ and see if they can assist you in making a positive recovery from your accident. I raced in Kate’s benefit triathlon a couple months back and met her and some other outstanding people. Maybe they can help you, and maybe you can help them in return with your experience.
Let me know if you do this please.
Zev