So Big K posted a phrase “Like a hobo on a hotdog”.
I love phrases like that.
My fallback is “like white on rice”
Any others out there? Big K I am going to be using yours in the future!
I prefer “like a fat kid on a Smartie”
And no - none of you clowns will beat me to that Smartie!
like Khai in a fat schoolgirl pool skimming competition
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Busier than a whore house on nickel night.
Busier than a one-legged man at an ass kickin’ contest.
So Big K posted a phrase “Like a hobo on a hotdog”.
I love phrases like that.
My fallback is “like white on rice”
Any others out there? Big K I am going to be using yours in the future!
Feel free to use it all you want. I must give full credit to The Bard (Shakespeare) who could use a device like that in far more lyrical and expressive terms than I could ever pull off in my pitiful existence.
Some of my Southern cousins use the phrase “Like stink on sh*t.” Shows you the difference in our thinking, me being raised predominantly in the North and them in the South. They also still refer to the Civil War as “the war of Northern aggression.” That’s kinda scary, but they’re pretty cool, so we all just let it slide 
BK
Like maggots in a gut wagon
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Huh. I always went for “like flies on sh*t,” but that might be a regional difference.
and the general reply:
My favorite remains “busier’n a long-tailed cat in a room full of rockin’ chairs”
Others include
“he don’t know shit from shinola”
“I’m happy as a pig in swill”
“(I run) slow as molassass in winter”
“I climb like a three-legged dog”
after feasting for a holiday “I feel like a bloated warthog”
I’m sure there’s others. Never know what’s gonna fall out my mouth.
“champagne on a beer budget”
For example, “Indiana wants champagne on a beer budget”…
“Like white people at a Goerge Clinton concert” for any overblown reaction/response.
He was on it like a duck on a junebug.
busier than a 3 peckered dog in a humping contest.
Busier than a 2 peckered billy goat.
Hotter than 2 rats flocking in a wool sock.
a little old school
If brains were gold (insert name) wouldn’t have enough to fill a tooth.
If if’s and buts were candy and nuts then we would all have a merry friggen christmas wouldn’t we?
Clint Eastwood- Heart Break Ridge
Don’t piss down my back and tell me it’s raining
“as wrong as 2 boys f*%&ing on the white house lawn on sunday”.
“as f*&%ed up as you want to be”
“dumber than a box of shit”
Busier than a monkey fuc*#ng a football.
BK
Depending on what you do, there is often a place for the phrase, “We’re gonna have a fair trial followed by a fair hangin’.”
Bernie
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My personal favorite: “Like stink on a monkey!”
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“Busier than a one-legged man in an ass-kickin’ contest.”
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Along this general theme:
Dear Sir,
I have just received your letter in regard to the bill that I owe you,
and I am supposed to pay so soon, I will enlighten you.
In 1954 I bought a Saw Mill on credit. In 1956 an Ox Team and Lumber Team,
Two (2) Ponies, a Breach Loading Gun, a Winchester, and a $25 revolver.
Also two (2) fine Razor Back Hogs, all on your damned installment plan.
In 1956 a rail worker knocked up my daughter and I had to pay $98 to keep
the bastard from becoming a relative of mine.
In 1957 my youngest boy had the mumps and they dropped on him. The Doctor
had to casterate him to keep him alive. Later we went fishing and the
boat upset and I lost the biggest Damn CatFish you ever saw. Two of my boys
drowned, neither of them was the casterated one.
In 1958 my wife ran away with a Gigolo and left me with a pair of shitty
twins as a souvenier, then I married the hired girl to cut out expenses.
She had trouble getting her gun off, so I went to the Doctor and he said to
cause some excitement about the time she was ready to come. That night I
took my shot-gun to bed with me, and about the time she was ready to come I
shot the gun out the window. My wife shit in the bed, I ruptured myself,
and shot the best cow I ever had.
In 1959, I decided to try again. I bought a manure spreader, a Farm-All
Tractor, and a Thrashing Machine all on credit. And along came a cyclone
and blew the whole damned works away.
In 1960 my wife caught the “Clap” from a traveling salesman and wiped her
ass on a corn cob that had rat poison on it, and the same dirty bastard
de-nutted my best bull.
Now at the present time, if it costs a nickel to shit I wouldn’t be able to
fart, yet you say you can cause me trouble. Trying to get money out of me
would be like trying to poke butter up a Wild-Cat’s ass with a hot iron.
BUT MISTER, YOU ARE SURE WELCOME TO TRY.
“Blowing like a mad whore” for inclement weather.
“Colder than a witch’s tit”
“Dicking the dog” is another good one, or just “F*&k All” as the Aussies say.
Useless as tits on a bull
Dumb as a screen door on a submarine
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