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I just noticed at a lunch that at the CBA that the Chicago Bar Association’s annual holiday show/revue is called “Young, Frank & Stein, LLP.” That’s pretty funny.
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Found this online satire re a large law firm. Deleted the firm name.
FIRM NAME was started by former slaveholders who figured out that the bottom was about to drop out of their market; and since all the other most profitable rackets were taken, they decided to start a law firm. All attorneys receive diversity training in the form of a 2 hour training session (only two hours??? Racists!!!). The firm is ranked #35 in prestige, meaning there are 34 firms more prestigious than FIRM NAME! However, the firm was ranked #3 for snootiness. The firm also has the highest number of lesbian Puerto Rican partners of any law firm within two blocks of the main office. The firm does a lot of Pro Boner work, working to get convicted killers off the hook, helps familes who come to America but dont bother to speak English adopt children, got residency status for illegal immigrants from rathole third world countries, did legal work for an organic baby clothing company` (can you eat the clothes? Who would want to eat the diapers?), and got money for the homeless who refuse to work (Ipods and booze are expensive nowadays).
FIRM NAME says that its firm culture (the usual platitudes about hard work, diversity, pro boner work) distinguishes it from other large firms, but other large firms say the EXACT SAME THINGS, so the only thing that really distinguishes FIRM NAME is the obscure grey font they use on their website (important!). The firm is listed as Third Best Firm to Work For by FIRM NAME Magazine. Associates at FIRM NAME have a great deal of flexibilityon weekends, they can often choose to work all night Saturday and part of Sunday, or part of Saturday and all night Sunday. Associates are provided mentors who guide them in 2 minute meetings held three times a year. FIRM NAME also took his and herspanic lawyers to a Mexican art museum to increase their sensitivity to bad art, and took women partners to a museum exhibit about perfume as part of the firms We patronize you now`` program. FIRM NAME also has a Woman2woman` mentoring program, where two women grow close together, while male partners and associates are sometimes permitted to watch, behind a one way glass wall. Women lawyers are also invited to a very private retreat on a women owned ranch where the only male things that get ridden are the stallions. The firm also gives 12 paid weeks leave to pregnant associates (or 48 hours for associates who get abortions)