I came over from the UK to do the Timberman last weekend on the express understanding that there would be a cup of darjeeling waiting for me in T2, given that KJ’s mother-in-law is originally from England (so would understand my needs) and was in charge of the food tent (so had the facilities to hand).
Swim felt strong so was surprised at 38 minutes, which is pretty pants even for me. Luckily the lake was crystal clear because I swallowed most of it. I flew out of T1 and was feeling great up to the turnaround, which based on previous experience normally means either a) the wind is at my back, b) it is slightly downhill and c) I am pushing too hard. In this case it was all three and I spent the rest of the bike being passed by everyone, some of them more than once. Still, I should be happy with 2hr51 for my longest ride of the year.
I got a bit carried away passing all the crowds coming in to the bike-in at Ellacoya and forgot to get my feet all the way out of my shoes before attempting a crowd-pleasing dismount a la Bjorn. Longest 1 second of my life, I can tell you, like being in the Matrix. But I yanked them out just before the dismount and strolled in to T2 expecting to see a nice little picnic table with white linen set out by my bike and a fresh brew on, perhaps some cucumber sandwiches on the side. Nothing. Nowt. Not even a tea bag and a flask of hot water. I was mystified: wasn’t I sufficiently clear to Keith in my email to him the Thursday before the race? I had been led to expect a certain degree of attention to detail. This was not on, and I put the blame for my 2hr30 pace first 5 miles entirely at his mother-in-law’s door. It was only when I remembered about the stiff upper lip thing that I picked it up a bit and stumbled over the line in 1hr51, stomach bloated from feeding like a lord at every single aid station (well, it was free, what could I do? I wish I had known, next time I will bring a paper plate).
Oh yeah, did anyone else cram their mouths with pretzels at the first run aid station and then set off? I swear my mouth was drier than an iraqi’s sandal for the next mile or so - in the end I had to stand under one of the hosepipes in someone’s front yard with my head back and my mouth open to get rid of the remnants. And what about the lad handing out electrolyte tablets? He asked me whether I needed any (he’s going to be a triage nurse when he grows up, that one) and when I said yes he emptied about 9 in my hand, which I promptly swallowed in one go. he looked at me a bit funny and I asked him how many I was supposed to take at once, he said “one or two”. I have never peed so high in my life as I did 3hrs later.
So all in all, despite the Great Cup of Tea Disaster, I had a very enjoyable day in the sun, coming in at 5hr23. Oh and Mrs Stride won the female aquabike, which was nice.
PS: you know those mobile electronic signs by the side of the road that in the week before the race warned locals of upcoming traffic disturbance? Well, some of you may have noticed that in the week after the race they had been re-programmed to say "Timberman thanks Gilford ". If you wanted one thing to sum up the attention to detail, professionalism and sheer good nature of KJ and the team at Endorfun, that is as good as any - sheer class.
