I know this is an old thread re-hashed, but…wow…my wife just laid the boom on me about triathlon. I do my very best to make training invisible on the family, only race 3-4X per year, get up early, do workouts when everybody is gone and pretty much only race locally with maybe one race where I drive out of state. This last weekend I did the Redman 70.3 race and pulled off a 4:46 which was a HUGE PR for me and well above what my training should have yielded or my best-case expectations. I usually tone down my exuberance and rarely talk much about my races or training, but I couldn’t hold back on this one. I was just elated and super excited. I noticed when I got home she was in a pissy mood and it jst got worse. I tried to lay low and just figure out what was wrong, then tonight she just ripped my affection for the sport (time training, long run / rides, recovery, travel) apart. Still a little shell shocked. Trying to find a way where everybody wins, but I’m not sure how right now. Not even sure why I’m typing this. I’m not pissed off, just unsure how I will keep it all up next year. It’s crazy. She’s never been an athlete or competitive about anything and that contributes, but there has to be a way to co-exist and make it all work. Sorry about the bummer posting. I’ll regret posting this in about 5 minutes.
Congrats on your PR. Unfortunately, I am not qualified nor do I have anything to add regarding your relationship
the problem isn’t triathlon. It’s bigger but many people grab something and focus on that to start the conversation as to what is really bothering them.
My wife is the same way, she could care less about Triathlon, and I could care less about Oprah or Dancing with the Stars. Unfortunately, the sport takes alot of time from our loved ones and there’s going to be stress. Everyone talks about compression socks or PowerCranks as the best equipment, however, nothing beats an understanding and supporting family.
She might say triathlon but she is talking about something else, like Brian said.
She’s never been an athlete or competitive about anything
This is why athletes should only date other athletes. Non athletes just don't understand. I am forever grateful my wife competes and spends nearly as much time training as I do.
John
What desert dude said. My longterm girlfriend and i just broke up lasg week, and although we argued all the time about training, there were other major issues at hand, she just loved to focus on that because she knew how important it was to me. Good luck though man im sure you will figure out a way to work it out =]
I know this is an old thread re-hashed, but…wow…my wife just laid the boom on me about triathlon. I do my very best to make training invisible on the family, only race 3-4X per year, get up early, do workouts when everybody is gone and pretty much only race locally with maybe one race where I drive out of state. This last weekend I did the Redman 70.3 race and pulled off a 4:46 which was a HUGE PR for me and well above what my training should have yielded or my best-case expectations. I usually tone down my exuberance and rarely talk much about my races or training, but I couldn’t hold back on this one. I was just elated and super excited. I noticed when I got home she was in a pissy mood and it jst got worse. I tried to lay low and just figure out what was wrong, then tonight she just ripped my affection for the sport (time training, long run / rides, recovery, travel) apart. Still a little shell shocked. Trying to find a way where everybody wins, but I’m not sure how right now. Not even sure why I’m typing this. I’m not pissed off, just unsure how I will keep it all up next year. It’s crazy. She’s never been an athlete or competitive about anything and that contributes, but there has to be a way to co-exist and make it all work. Sorry about the bummer posting. I’ll regret posting this in about 5 minutes.
Congrats on your PR … way to go!!!
She needs her own deal, something that's "hers", and that she can derive enjoyment, otherwise you are the entertainment committee, and sport is a mistress that threatens her. Even if it is not the same interest, it's tough to be in a relationship where only one has a passion.
ps. I’m sure I’m right, but if you have any specific questions, I can ask them of either of my ex-wives. 
My wife is not an athlete and is awesome.
I’d venture to say that it isn’t so much that you have to be with another athlete you just need to be with someone who is as passionate about something as you are about triathlon.
My husband isn’t an athlete but he is passionate about his music and is happy to have time to himself so he can sing, crank on the guitar and uke without me getting annoyed.
DD is surprisingly perceptive and right on. Something else is going on and you need to find that. She might be generally unhappy and not feel like she has anything that is all about her whereas you have your racing which clearly is. Cut back on your training, spend more time with her and try to get to the root of this before starting another big training cycle. Make sure your priorities are the same as her’s.
I’d venture to say that it isn’t so much that you have to be with another athlete you just need to be with someone who is as passionate about something as you are about triathlon.
My husband isn’t an athlete but he is passionate about his music and is happy to have time to himself so he can sing, crank on the guitar and uke without me getting annoyed.
DD is surprisingly perceptive and right on. Something else is going on and you need to find that. She might be generally unhappy and not feel like she has anything that is all about her whereas you have your racing which clearly is. Cut back on your training, spend more time with her and try to get to the root of this before starting another big training cycle. Make sure your priorities are the same as her’s.
Ukelele? No wonder you like to run so much
I dont know what your wife does for leisure, but sometimes I get frustrated with the spending time together thing when neither of us are actually doing anything, eg watching tv, movie, reading etc. “but its nice spending time together”, yeah, but sorta nah. I dont sleep well, so I often do some training after she falls asleep, say 10pm. I still get grief sometimes even though she is ASLEEP!! Granted I dont have kids, so that would be a huge difference obviously, but I think its just one of those things. Chicks… hard to understand - pretty cool though;)
She’s never been an athlete or competitive about anything
This is why athletes should only date other athletes. Non athletes just don’t understand. I am forever grateful my wife competes and spends nearly as much time training as I do.
John
x2
Normally the only time my wife gets mad is when I do a 6 hour training ride followed by coffee and lunch and don’t invite her, or beat he in some form of a running race. Aside from that she’s busy doing her own marathon training or getting he nails done! 
She’s testing you to see if you’ll stand up for yourself. No better way to do that than to attack something you clearly enjoy.
http://books.google.com/books?id=BfmuYfz57-8C&lpg=PP1&pg=PA160#v=onepage&q=&f=false
How many hours per week do you train?
How many hours a week do you work (including your commute)?
Do you contribute equally to the household?
How much time away from your wife does your training cost you.
Does she have any interests? - Do you support them?
When you are not working or training, what do you do together? Or does she ‘just want you around’?
If she gives you a Triathlon or Me ultimatum, she is in the wrong because there is a way to make everything work… In a partnership you each need your own time (as well as time together!) and she could be jealous that you have something in your life that makes you so happy and she does not. If this is the case then you’ll have to address this and encourage her find something that gives her enjoyment and independence.
Alternatively, she could be a controlling personality, if this is the case then it’s a little more difficult…
Can you identify with two or more of these statements:
Wants things to go their way all the time.
Thinks they're always right.
Finds fault a lot and seldom gives compliments.
Gives you no chance to explain or defend yourself.
Insecure or jealous, even when there's no reason to be.
Makes you feel guilty in everything you do.
Wants you to cancel well laid plans in the last minute.
If that’s the case, you need more help than I can offer. Communication, respect, compromise (from both parties) and help if needed.
More and more I am so happy I never got married, however there are a lucky few that meet someone that is either an athlete themselves or very understanding, the other 95% go through hell. Congrats on the PR though.
She’s angry becuase… needs exploration. Our anger often serves to defend/protect…what’s the anger protecting? No need to speculate here. An equally important question is how or whom should do the exploring with her?
agreed.
I honestly do not understand spouses that are not suportive. I’ve been married 33 years and I’m still madly in love. One of the main reasons is that we support each other. No matter what the undertaking (career, sports, whatever) she has always been my biggest cheerleader and vise versa.
Unless you are truly allowing your training to interfere with family time in a major way, then it’s your wife who has a problem…which, of course, means that you have a huge problem. As everyone else has said, it ain’t triathlons that’s the issue.