Interesting piece. Most of us by virtue we are or were triathletes will probably struggle to relate to this…but sometimes I think about the fact that I am constantly driving myself to be better. It’s not about beating other people. It’s not about having more or better material things. It’s about maximizing my potential…no matter what it is.
It’s what fulfills me.
However, there are times when I’m like, well would I be happier taking the gas off the pedal and not pushing myself or stressing myself? I used to live and work in Northwest Arkansas…WalMart country. Life there is great. Low cost of living, friendly people, great outdoors lifestyle, good weather. I could have stayed there forever and made a decent living etc. The long timers there are really happy and have great lives. But I knew if I did it would have left a question in my mind…so we moved back to CT and I took a larger role with the company.
It isn’t fair to call it a mediocre life. It is more about defining success differently from someone else. More isn’t necessarily better. Just like living a life of austerity isn’t what a lot of people want. Don’t let other determine what you want out of life.
My take on this is that most people end up settling for the mediocre life. Mediocre is often a relative standard.
My story is that while by absolute standards I’ve had a pretty exciting and successful journey (so far), but because of where I am now, I am surrounded by people who are pretty fuckin’ amazing and successful. Relative to that group, I am mediocre.
If I lived in rural (& fictional) Kazakhstan my comparitor would be a bit different
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. I am very driven, but more so because I hate making mistakes, letting people down, or feeling like I should have known/anticipated/planned for something better.
Also, working in construction, you work under a lot of assholes. I knew if I didn’t want to do that for long, I would have to improve quickly.
My longest serving employee recently quit. He left for a government job. He will make a bit more money, but his earnings potential will never go up. He will be making what he’s making now, plus his small annual raises, until he retires. This new job will not challenge him at all. He is in his late 20’s. We would often clash because he just had no drive to improve or take initiative to learn new things on his own. I feel like he is trading in a lot more potential (with some hard work) for a low stress, zero reward career with no future, which is something I just cannot comprehend.
On the other hand, he will never have to take his work home with him, will carry much less work related stress in his life, have his yearly 3 weeks vacation, etc.
It isn’t fair to call it a mediocre life. It is more about defining success differently from someone else. More isn’t necessarily better. Just like living a life of austerity isn’t what a lot of people want. Don’t let other determine what you want out of life.
+1 Mediocre? I think there are billions of people that would love such a life.
I am not killing myself to get to the top. Near as I can tell being a manager or higher comes with it’s fair share of suckage along with the money.
I am comfortable. The reality is that our combined incomes put us in the upper middle class.
Life is good, I don’t need the added stress of being in management.
If that makes my life “mediocre” then so be it.
So I was going to post and than saw yours. Basically what you say the Quality of Life is more important the Standard of Living. While the article (which I didn’t read) does not relate to it directly, but rather talk about being driven person and such think the underlining theme is success which translate to higher standard of living (in most cases). I am not surprised about your post, being a Canadian (no pun intendant).
I was talking with my wife the other day (happens sometimes) about this point as we are going to Nova Scotia in couple of weeks on vacation. And she said that its more about Quality of Life there than otherwise. IDK.
My dad was a truck driver for 45 years. He made enough money to keep all of us kids in shoes, and he was happy driving trucks.
I was happy flying airplanes in the USAF. I never filled the squares required to become the Chief of Staff, but I managed to be in the cockpit for 19 out of my 20 years there. Then I taught school. Enjoyed teaching physics and chemistry to my students, but never wanted to become an administrator (where the big bucks are) and have to deal with their problems. Always made enough money to be happy.
Retired and living the easy life now. I don’t own a summer house in Tuscany, nor a stable of horses, nor a private jet, nor a yacht. But we’re comfortable and happy.
I think it would suck to settle for a mediocre life. But I think the hardest part is figuring out what a meaningful life is for you and going for it.
I had the big career and gave up a job with an international team to be a part time analyst. I can see some people staring down their nose at me. But every Friday when I walk into my daughter’s school to volunteer I get high fives and kids who hug me and want to tell me what’s going on in their lives and it makes my heart sing. I’m sure it seems mediocre to some- both those who think I should have pushed on career wise and those who can’t imagine why I still go to work at all. But for me it works. So I don’t think it’s mediocre at all even if others might judge it that way. That’s their problem- not mine.
I sleep well at night and that’s the best metric to me of how it’s going.
You can have it all in life.
You just can’t have it all at one time.
It was possible for me to:
succed at my career,
excel at youth and masters sport,
successfully raise two children on my own,
lead a relaxed and satisfying life,
have beautiful and intelligent girlfriends,
live somewhat in conformance with my values
But…
I don’t think I ever had more than 4 of these things at one time. And usually less than that.
At every time in my life, I was always mediocre at something.
Some people probably think my life is mediocre/boring/half-assing it.
Some people would love to have what I have.
I’m happy (mostly), I have a very stable income, nice home, great family and leave work at work (mostly). While I’m not objectively note-worthy, I do not aspire to do more at the cost of my leisure time.
Plus I’m posting to Slowtwitch while i’m at work - nothing mediocre about that.
The question for me would be more so “when is it ok to accept a mediocre life.” At some point 99% of us should ease off the gas and live a happier “mediocre life.” But also, at some points, we should have the pedal on the floor. I am just not totally sure where those are.
I am not sure if high school REALLY matters. You can mess up, go to CC excel, finish up at a 4 year school and do well, and now that name is on your resume.
Maybe it is at the start of your career, to try your best/be an entrepreneur reaching for the stars.
The question for me would be more so “when is it ok to accept a mediocre life.” At some point 99% of us should ease off the gas and live a happier “mediocre life.” But also, at some points, we should have the pedal on the floor. I am just not totally sure where those are.
I am not sure if high school REALLY matters. You can mess up, go to CC excel, finish up at a 4 year school and do well, and now that name is on your resume.
Maybe it is at the start of your career, to try your best/be an entrepreneur reaching for the stars.
This is a really good point. I certainly couldn’t have been as “mediocre” at a younger age - nor did I want to be. Then the hard work vs reward was totally worth it - now, not so much.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. I am very driven, but more so because I hate making mistakes, letting people down, or feeling like I should have known/anticipated/planned for something better.
Also, working in construction, you work under a lot of assholes. I knew if I didn’t want to do that for long, I would have to improve quickly.
My longest serving employee recently quit. He left for a government job. He will make a bit more money, but his earnings potential will never go up. He will be making what he’s making now, plus his small annual raises, until he retires. This new job will not challenge him at all. He is in his late 20’s. We would often clash because he just had no drive to improve or take initiative to learn new things on his own. I feel like he is trading in a lot more potential (with some hard work) for a low stress, zero reward career with no future, which is something I just cannot comprehend.
On the other hand, he will never have to take his work home with him, will carry much less work related stress in his life, have his yearly 3 weeks vacation, etc.
And a guaranteed pension. As long a gov’t stays afloat I guess. I prefer to more or less steer my own ship
I am successful by most metrics but have never experienced being utterly committed to an enormous, challenging collaborative project that consumed me. I dopn’t really know how to make it happen but would be sad if it never did.
Before someone suggests joining the army - I’m not going to do that. The thing that pushed this thought to the front of my mind most recently was watching the documentary on the last season of GoT. Weird, I know, but to see the legions of extras and snow men and make up artists that show took was oddly moving. I was jealous of their exhaustion and accomplishment.
I’ve been thinking about this a lot lately. I am very driven, but more so because I hate making mistakes, letting people down, or feeling like I should have known/anticipated/planned for something better.
Also, working in construction, you work under a lot of assholes. I knew if I didn’t want to do that for long, I would have to improve quickly.
My longest serving employee recently quit. He left for a government job. He will make a bit more money, but his earnings potential will never go up. He will be making what he’s making now, plus his small annual raises, until he retires. This new job will not challenge him at all. He is in his late 20’s. We would often clash because he just had no drive to improve or take initiative to learn new things on his own. I feel like he is trading in a lot more potential (with some hard work) for a low stress, zero reward career with no future, which is something I just cannot comprehend.
On the other hand, he will never have to take his work home with him, will carry much less work related stress in his life, have his yearly 3 weeks vacation, etc.
And a guaranteed pension. As long a gov’t stays afloat I guess. I prefer to more or less steer my own ship
Which is fine. But I think he could still get that pension if he gets that job at age 40. He could apply himself, make way more money for 10-12 years, gain more skills, then fall back to the fluff job if he still wants to later in life.
My dad was a truck driver for 45 years. He made enough money to keep all of us kids in shoes, and he was happy driving trucks.
I was happy flying airplanes in the USAF. I never filled the squares required to become the Chief of Staff, but I managed to be in the cockpit for 19 out of my 20 years there. Then I taught school. Enjoyed teaching physics and chemistry to my students, but never wanted to become an administrator (where the big bucks are) and have to deal with their problems. Always made enough money to be happy.
Retired and living the easy life now. I don’t own a summer house in Tuscany, nor a stable of horses, nor a private jet, nor a yacht. But we’re comfortable and happy.
This is something I’ve been mulling over a lot lately.
I don’t live in the best zip code, but I have a nice home nonetheless. I don’t drive a European car, but my Ford is well maintained. My wife will never be mistaken for a supermodel, but she can turn heads when she does herself up. When I raced, I never made the podium (well, one time), but my tri club peers respected me and thought I was terrific.
I’ve fallen into a saying…Better than some not as good as others. The only thing in my life that stands out is my marriage and my children - they are both doing very well. Every other aspect of my life is good, not great, good. I’ll take that. Call it mediocre if you want, but I think great comes at a price. For me, I would rather have everything working well; relationships, finances, health, profession. If one of these areas really skyrockets, I don’t know that I could maintain the other areas very well.
My dad was a truck driver for 45 years. He made enough money to keep all of us kids in shoes, and he was happy driving trucks.
I was happy flying airplanes in the USAF. I never filled the squares required to become the Chief of Staff, but I managed to be in the cockpit for 19 out of my 20 years there. Then I taught school. Enjoyed teaching physics and chemistry to my students, but never wanted to become an administrator (where the big bucks are) and have to deal with their problems**. ** Always made enough money to be happy.
Retired and living the easy life now. I don’t own a summer house in Tuscany, nor a stable of horses, nor a private jet, nor a yacht. But we’re comfortable and happy.
My husband is an administrator. He must be hiding the summer house and jet :).
Definitely. I’m reading a book on the subject now (The Subtle Art of Not Giving A Fuck). It makes essentially that point: find what gives your life purpose and enjoy the pursuit as much or more as the acquisition, because the struggle is what gives meaning. That may sound counterintuitive to being content with mediocre, but I think what you’re eluding to isn’t necessarily mediocrity. It’s accepting and enjoying what you have without killing yourself in pursuit of something that probably won’t bring you true happiness, because the list of things that you perceive as adding to your happiness is endless.
I’m trying damn hard to not give a fuck. It’s harder than one would think.
