So I’ve been using internet dating on and off over the last 8 or so years when I’ve been single, and it’s always struck me that it is nearly always the guy who sends the first message and has to make the “first move”. I guess it’s not too dissimilar to real life in that sense, but I sometimes wonder if the attractive women on those sites ever make the first move, or are they are just so innundated with messages etc that they don’t have to/want to? Being a woman on those sites it seems they don’t have to deal with the possibility of rejection, much if at all, whereas being a guy you generally have to have pretty accepting of the fact that on the whole, you’re going to have to get pretty used to being “rejected”.
Which brings me to tinder…who here has tried it and what have your experiences been like? I have seen a few women from there, had 4 dates with one of them, but ended up going nowhere as she went back to her ex.
It seems to be more popular with people in their early to mid 20s…what’s it like overseas?
What are others’ experiences with internet dating being like?
FWIW, I met my wife online. She made the first move and she’s very attractive.
Tinder is nothing more than a hook-up app for college kids here, can’t imagine it is different anywhere else.
Not anymore. I went on many dates off tinder. I’m better at meeting people in real life though. That’s how I eventually ended up in my current relationship.
FWIW, I met my wife online. She made the first move and she’s very attractive.
Tinder is nothing more than a hook-up app for college kids here, can’t imagine it is different anywhere else.
Not anymore. I went on many dates off tinder. I’m better at meeting people in real life though. That’s how I eventually ended up in my current relationship.
Hmmmm, I know a lot college kids who use it right now for nothing but hooking up; my former roommates and my students. Can honestly say you are the first person I have heard who takes it seriously. Maybe it is different regionally?
Tinder is different here in New Zealand, well I did get a bit of tongue action with the girl I went on 4 dates with, but it does seem to have transformed into a dating as opposed to hook up site. Lots of girls saying ‘not dtf’ (ie not down to fuck) on their profile, but then that might just be what they are saying…and then I might be in the wrong age bracket for the ones in their early 20s just looking for a hook up (I’m 36). Most of the guys I know who use Tinder also seem to barely get that many matches, and they’re not exactly “bad looking”, so it seems many women on tinder must be extremely fussy?
FWIW, I met my wife online. She made the first move and she’s very attractive.
Tinder is nothing more than a hook-up app for college kids here, can’t imagine it is different anywhere else.
Not anymore. I went on many dates off tinder. I’m better at meeting people in real life though. That’s how I eventually ended up in my current relationship.
Hmmmm, I know a lot college kids who use it right now for nothing but hooking up; my former roommates and my students. Can honestly say you are the first person I have heard who takes it seriously. Maybe it is different regionally?
Funny, I know many people who wish it was still used for hooking up. Looking at a lot female profiles they explicitly say they arent looking for a hookup. I just googled “is tinder for” and it auto completed to “dating or hooking up” then seemingly all the sites on the first page back up what I said. It seems in not the only one…
FWIW, I met my wife online. She made the first move and she’s very attractive.
Tinder is nothing more than a hook-up app for college kids here, can’t imagine it is different anywhere else.
Not anymore. I went on many dates off tinder. I’m better at meeting people in real life though. That’s how I eventually ended up in my current relationship.
Hmmmm, I know a lot college kids who use it right now for nothing but hooking up; my former roommates and my students. Can honestly say you are the first person I have heard who takes it seriously. Maybe it is different regionally?
I think that is largely how it is viewed from the male perspective. I suspect that your former roommates and students where of the male persuasion. And to a large degree there is some truth to it.
But think from the female perspective. You’re going to tell me that I can launch tinder in my area and suddenly there is 1000 women who are looking for nothing more than a hookup? Wow I struck gold! And it was almost as simple as downloading an app? Years and years of dating experience has proven that it is VERY unlikely that 1000s of women are simply online looking for a hookup.
All that being said, I have used tinder as a means for meeting interesting people when I am out of town. I have asked a number of women, did you know that tinder has the reputation for being a hookup thing. Some were naive to it, others knew that was the reputation. None said they viewed it any differently than match, ok cupid or any other form of online dating. To them it was an platform for easily meeting people.
I think most of tinder is horny guys with the expectation that women just want to sleep with them. Then again, I might describe the lavender room as such.
My cousin, who is nothing like me……he’s good looking, popular, and smooth with the women’s, taught me a pretty good trick. (He’s 22 and I’m 41 and married, so it doesn’t really matter).
Don’t look at the profiles at all. Go on there, and send a generic message to every single freakin’ girl on the website. Don’t worry at all about rejection, because you aren’t even reading their profiles, so what do you care if a bunch don’t respond.
Then, inevitably, a bunch will respond. Guess what……now you are in the enviable position that you just said the girls are in. Send out 100 messages, get 10 responses. Now you get to decide which you want to reject and which you want to pursue.
My cousin, who is nothing like me……he’s good looking, popular, and smooth with the women’s, taught me a pretty good trick. (He’s 22 and I’m 41 and married, so it doesn’t really matter).
Don’t look at the profiles at all. Go on there, and send a generic message to every single freakin’ girl on the website. Don’t worry at all about rejection, because you aren’t even reading their profiles, so what do you care if a bunch don’t respond.
Then, inevitably, a bunch will respond. Guess what……now you are in the enviable position that you just said the girls are in. Send out 100 messages, get 10 responses. Now you get to decide which you want to reject and which you want to pursue.
And that right there is why, GOD FORBID, anything ever happens to Mr. Allie and I will be single the rest of my days. Lord. I ain’t got time for that crap.
My cousin, who is nothing like me……he’s good looking, popular, and smooth with the women’s, taught me a pretty good trick. (He’s 22 and I’m 41 and married, so it doesn’t really matter).
Don’t look at the profiles at all. Go on there, and send a generic message to every single freakin’ girl on the website. Don’t worry at all about rejection, because you aren’t even reading their profiles, so what do you care if a bunch don’t respond.
Then, inevitably, a bunch will respond. Guess what……now you are in the enviable position that you just said the girls are in. Send out 100 messages, get 10 responses. Now you get to decide which you want to reject and which you want to pursue.
Cough, cough! Tell your boy that smart women can read through shit real quick.
My cousin, who is nothing like me……he’s good looking, popular, and smooth with the women’s, taught me a pretty good trick. (He’s 22 and I’m 41 and married, so it doesn’t really matter).
Don’t look at the profiles at all. Go on there, and send a generic message to every single freakin’ girl on the website. Don’t worry at all about rejection, because you aren’t even reading their profiles, so what do you care if a bunch don’t respond.
Then, inevitably, a bunch will respond. Guess what……now you are in the enviable position that you just said the girls are in. Send out 100 messages, get 10 responses. Now you get to decide which you want to reject and which you want to pursue.
I’m reading Dataclysm right now. They indicated that about half the email traffic on dating sites is basically mass spamming like this. It sounds like a good idea, until you consider that if everyone else is doing the same thing, it basically just makes it almost impossible for the system to work. Most women I have asked about this say they get so many messages they can’t even read all of them and just end up closing their accounts, because most of the messages they get are either this kind of spam or just sexually explicit.
So in short, people like your cousin are just ruining it for everyone, not being clever like they think.
I don’t know what you’re talking about. I got tons of online dating service approaches from hot women. It was amazing. They all looked like models. They all had really good professional looking photos. They were all looking for “the most romantic good loving man who can take care for me.” Many of them were from exotic places like Russia, Serbia, Ukraine, etc. I even got some from dating sites I had never visited. Man,…those girls are horny too. They come right out and offer all kinds of good stuff.
Well, it probably worked until it stopped working.
It does shake the system up, though, no? I mean, if only the men are spamming the women, then the women could certainly solve the problem by actually initiating contact with the guy. Right?
I know……wishful thinking. Instead they’ll close their account and curl up on a couch watching American Idol and wondering why they are single.
I have a couple of friends who have used it and not saying it doesn’t work, but they were just like me in that they want to meet someone face to face in order to experience that click. They went on a ton of dates with women from various sites. Problem is for face to face they were both a bit intimidated to go up and introduce themselves to random women. Their response to that was ‘I don’t do the bar scene, but never go where any good looking women hang out and I’m too busy so I have to use the internet.’. My response was ‘so you don’t go to the grocery store, shopping mall, airport etc?’. It had never occurred to them that talking to random strangers is and option! Not sure why they are both handsome guys way more than my bald dorky self. I think they were kind of down from their divorces. Once they got the courage up to simply walk up to a woman they sensed and interest in they dropped internet dating. One married last year and the other has been dating a gal for about 2 years. YMMV.
Well, it probably worked until it stopped working.
It does shake the system up, though, no? I mean, if only the men are spamming the women, then the women could certainly solve the problem by actually initiating contact with the guy. Right?
I know……wishful thinking. Instead they’ll close their account and curl up on a couch watching American Idol and wondering why they are single.
I truly doubt it ever worked, and if I did, the girls that replied weren’t the kind he was fishing for.
I went on a dating site because I am a grown man, finished with school, with a professional job, and had just moved to an area where there were three large universities within 10 miles. Also didn’t help that 90% of the population of the county is LDS, most women are married by the age of 20; my preferred dating pool (at least 25, done with school, with a job) was pretty much non-existent. Every time I started talking to a girl at the normal places (church, gym, grocery store, etc.), she ended up being a 20yr old liberal studies major at one of the local universities.
My (now) wife lived almost two hours away, in the tiny town that she grew up in, where she already knew everybody under the age of 40. We probably never would have met but she traveled to my area all the time for work. Then, within three months of us dating, she accepted a promotion and moved right around the corner. We were married five months later. We both found that it was simply a way to expand our dating pool. In the handful of weeks I did it, I had several dates every week and most of them were far enough away that there was zero chance we would have ever met.
I was very skeptical, but it worked out great for me.