I’ve delayed posting this for about 4 weeks, but my little friend keeps hanging around, or hanging out as the case may be. How in the hell does one get rid of a persistent hemeroid? Or, as my 14 year old loves to say, an ass-teroid?
Surgery. Go see a doctor.
I hear that you can get rid of them by tieing them at the base with a rubber band to cut of the circulation. They’ll fall off in about a week. Good luck finding someone to help, though, your 14 yr old sounds like a good candidate.
Chris
you drive a chevy.
There are many options available now that offer out patient, non surgical ways to take care of the issue…though you may feel like C3P0 is trying to shoot your exit door with a laser beam attached to a Louisville Slugger…oh what fun…
Seriously, go see your primary care and ask if there are non surgical treatments availible for your particular condition.
E-Bay… Get Mr Chin to sell it
Weeman
there is cream you can get(prescription) that numbs it till it bursts. Let it burst. Don’t do the surgery root. you will be sorry for years after.
dd
Well…lets recap the day…we need all mens races (say Sausage Fest)…we have a member who can projective vomit while on the potty with his ass sounding much like a gastroenterological fourth of July festival…and now we are going to burst our numb hemmoroids…god I love Slowtwitch…
Wait for an alien abduction, then ask them to take care of it during the “probe”…
Alternatively you could do this…
“A World War II veteran came into a London clinic with a hemorrhoid problem. One painful pile would often hang down from the man’s anus and he was in the habit of pushing it back up with an anti-aircraft shell. On this occasion, the shell got stuck. Doctors were going to remove it but the man told them the shell was still live. So the hospital called in the army bomb disposal squad, who built a lead box around the man’s anus to defuse the shell before it could be removed.”
see a dr.
Just get some plyers and pull it off.
I’ve delayed posting this for about 4 weeks, but my little friend keeps hanging around, or hanging out as the case may be. How in the hell does one get rid of a persistent hemeroid? Or, as my 14 year old loves to say, an ass-teroid?
Nut sacks and now hemi’s – Must be friday…
Do what I am going to do – Go to the Bar – carbo load for a long weekend of training.
.
tie a rubber bad around it.
As A General Surgeon I would tell you to go see a Surgeon and have it evaluated. There are several ways to deal with the problem. From adding fiber and increasing your fluid to having surgery. Rubber band ligation is an office procedure that is effective and should be non painful. If it hurts they are doing it wrong. The thing to be concerned about is that it may not be a heme…probably is but something that is persistent should be checked out…
I heard soak a rag in gasoline and sit in it…but that was from a guy who treated a chainsaw wound with ben-gay.
-You’re not in the club
Mitch
Have you tried a leach? I would try a leach…
TRI-Doc’s response proved the most useful, despite the good laughs about alien probes, etc. Went to the Doc today and it wasn’t an ass-teroid, it was a polyp (sp??). He didn’t seem too alarmed, but did snip it off and is sending it to the lab for testing. A sprint tri this Saturday and a 100 mile ride Sunday may prove extra memorable due lingering effects of the “snip”. Many thanks for the other useful suggestions, you clowns would fit right in with the knuckleheads I swim with! 
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