I listen to Eminem with my 10 year old. Not every song (we skip the graphic sexual stuff, and talk about the misogynistic parts as a learning opportunity) but more than any reasonable parent would with a fourth grader.
My mother confiscated just about every cassette tape that wasn’t George W. Smith, Amy Grant, or other Christian singer. My AC/DC Back In Black tape did not go over well, to say the least. And I was at least 12 or 13 by that time.
Who else is a no good, terrible, very bad parent?
Who else is a no good, terrible, very bad parent?
I guess I am. I let my daughter watch too many shows that a 7-year old shouldn’t watch . . . cop shows, lawyer shows, doctor shows, all of which have far too many violent and sexual scenes. We’re pretty good about talking through anything that is too graphic . . . usually with an explanation of how it’s all acting, not real, etc., but I sometimes wonder how much of that really sinks in. So far, she’s remained a pretty grounded kid, and she’s still far more “innocent” than her classmates with older siblings.
My kid like to open and take a swig of beer when he grabs one for me. I don’t discourage it forcefully enough.
We let our oldest (the 10 year old) watch things waaayy too early. Then we had another boy 3.5 years later and he watches all the same stuff the older one does, which I guess is even worse.
The little one was watching Jurassic Park, and later Jurassic World, before kindergarten. Never had any nightmare issues that we can tell.
Both are exposed to way too much TV violence, mostly Marvel-type stuff, and video games like Fortnite.
I’ve given both of my boys sips of beer. Neither cares for it.
The other day my oldest turned his nose up at a glass of cheap OJ. “Smells like beer, dad.” It actually smelled just like some IPAs I keep around the house.
I lose my temper with my kids way too easily. I am working on it. But man, it drives me nuts that I have to ask my 7 year old 3-5 times to do anything.
"Nathan, can you go brush your teeth and get ready to go?
2 minutes later
“Did you brush your teeth?”
“No, I am going”
2 minutes later… still in front of the TV
Grabs remote and turns it off.
“GO BRUSH YOUR TEETH AND GET READY!!! WHY DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO ASK 3 TIMES?”
I must be bc I have a video of my now 9year old girl dancing to Jay-Z when she was 2 or so.
She listens to whatever music I listen to, she is smart enough to know not to repeat the words she shouldn’t and when she hears a new one or wants to know why something is not appropriate we talk about it.
I am pretty careful about what she watches only bc I don’t want some scary shit to scare her at night but for the life of me I can’t get her to watch a James Bond! She says they’re too violent but she’s never even seen one. Maybe encouraging her to watch a violent, misogynistic (and in the early days, racist) character does indeed make me a bad dad.
The list is long…
I send my kids to daycare.
They have too much screen time and the 7 year old has seen all the Marvel movies.
I let them swear (but never “at” anyone).
I let them eat treats before meals.
We let our oldest (the 10 year old) watch things waaayy too early. Then we had another boy 3.5 years later and he watches all the same stuff the older one does, which I guess is even worse.
The little one was watching Jurassic Park, and later Jurassic World, before kindergarten. Never had any nightmare issues that we can tell.
Both are exposed to way too much TV violence, mostly Marvel-type stuff, and video games like Fortnite.
I forgot about Jurassic World - my son was obsessed with it (and saw it in the theatre with his dad).
I was the bad parent because, when my youngest was younger (6 to 10), I’d let her watch more mature shows on tv so long as there wasn’t intense or graphic violence. So shows like South Park, Curb your Enthusiasm, etc. Or more like I wouldn’t turn the shows off just because she was in the room – most of the time, she wasn’t paying that much attention.
But I’d always turn it off it there was graphic or intense and inappropriate, in my opinion, violence. Or if it was too scary.
My wife was the opposite. She’d be upset if there was something sexual on and my daughter was in the room, but wouldn’t hesitate to keep the violent or scary shows going.
I also swear a lot.
Thing is, I think the kid’s turning out ok. She’s learning not to be offended by certain language, etc., but also to recognize that for her, there’s a time and place. I have a t-shirt that says, “Fuck Arsenal,” and she’s smart enough to know that Arsenal is the only offensive word on that shirt.
I lose my temper with my kids way too easily. I am working on it. But man, it drives me nuts that I have to ask my 7 year old 3-5 times to do anything.
"Nathan, can you go brush your teeth and get ready to go?
2 minutes later
“Did you brush your teeth?”
“No, I am going”
2 minutes later… still in front of the TV
Grabs remote and turns it off.
“GO BRUSH YOUR TEETH AND GET READY!!! WHY DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO ASK 3 TIMES?”
+1k
I lose my temper with my kids way too easily. I am working on it. But man, it drives me nuts that I have to ask my 7 year old 3-5 times to do anything.
"Nathan, can you go brush your teeth and get ready to go?
2 minutes later
“Did you brush your teeth?”
“No, I am going”
2 minutes later… still in front of the TV
Grabs remote and turns it off.
“GO BRUSH YOUR TEETH AND GET READY!!! WHY DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO ASK 3 TIMES?”
You’ve trained them to expect that you’ll ask them 3x to do anything, and so to not take you seriously the first time.
The solution is pretty simple:
Don’t repeat requests.
Stand there (not angrily) and make sure they comply with your first instruction; help them if necessary.
Praise them for doing what you asked.
If you’re consistent with this, you should be able to break the old habit in a few weeks.
I lose my temper with my kids way too easily. I am working on it. But man, it drives me nuts that I have to ask my 7 year old 3-5 times to do anything.
"Nathan, can you go brush your teeth and get ready to go?
2 minutes later
“Did you brush your teeth?”
“No, I am going”
2 minutes later… still in front of the TV
Grabs remote and turns it off.
“GO BRUSH YOUR TEETH AND GET READY!!! WHY DO I ALWAYS HAVE TO ASK 3 TIMES?”
It’s because you Canadians always sound so damn pleasant, like you’re making a mere suggestion that it might be a nice thing if you possibly would consider brushing your teeth but definitely not mandating it but if you think you’d consider it you might find it enjoyable before you go to bed totally at your leisure and without any hurry whatsoever, eh?
My “kids” are 29 and 32, both off on successful lives on their own. A few years ago at a wedding my son made the comment that we had been “free range” parents and it seemed to work where other styles didn’t. The people they were talking to had been carefully supervised for a good portion of their lives - who they hung out with, curfews, bed time requirements, church every Sunday, things like that. My wife and I just taught the kids right and wrong and turned them loose at a young age.
After all the “I can’t believe that” and “that’s horrible parenting” comments he pointed out that…
They didn’t do drugs or smoke, there were no grand children in the picture, they had both finished school and college with no problems, and they were both out on their own in secure jobs and healthy relationships - something that many in that group could not claim. They even still get along with us.
Call it luck if you want, but your example of how you live life means far more than your words, and the music you listen to means absolutely nothing, although my son does like that death metal shit that I can’t stand. I would much rather listen to 70’s on 7 or Hair Nation.
Who else is a no good, terrible, very bad parent?
I do shots with and get tattoos with my son.
They didn’t do drugs or smoke, there were no grand children in the picture, they had both finished school and college with no problems, and they were both out on their own in secure jobs and healthy relationships - something that many in that group could not claim. They even still get along with us.
That’s about as good a job as a parent can do. Well done.
Who else is a no good, terrible, very bad parent?
I do shots with and get tattoos with my son.
Not that you give a damn about my opinion on tats, but it went up several notches when you described your WWII arm in the other thread. Pretty cool!
My son and I talk about his first tattoo. That conversation started at age 9.
No shots, though. That’s a bit much for a 10 year-old. We’re a little old fashioned in that regard. We just drink Old Fashioneds.
I let my son watch Alien and Aliens at age 8.
Until age 14 he slept with the corner of the duvet in his mouth so they won’t lay eggs in him.
Who else is a no good, terrible, very bad parent?
I do shots with and get tattoos with my son.
So do I. Is that wrong?