Last night, I’d been doing “tt sprints” (two mile, pedal to the floor type efforts), in some nice 89+ degree humid weather and I was on my way home, when I noticed four deer in a field.
They appeared to be all female, because none of them had antlers.
They noticed me about half-a-mile off. They stopped eating whatever it is deer eat in the middle of a field, and walked closer to each other. They stood four wide and watched me ride by.
I don’t know if it was my snazzy blue tires, or my tanned, muscular body, but they really seemed to take a shine to me.
I didn’t really want to have to get into the whole “your not really my type” speech, so I just waved and kept riding. I could have sworn as I rode by, they were moving their mouths and saying something about, “Oooohhh, look at him.”
Half a mile later, I realized I’d run out of water.
Despite the fact that you look fast and cool, know how to match colors and even what not to wear - women don’t like you. Why do you think that is? At least you find yourself sexy and can share exciting momenets with yourself - that broadband connection must feel real good.
Don’t let yourself get involved. You don’t want to spend the rest of your life having to say “yes deer” “no deer”. 
Doggy style? Or missionary?
Pics?
What I do with my bike is my own darn business.
Did you try some of the slowtwitch pick up lines on the female deer?
it was your handlebar tape job they were agonizing over.