Ok fine my brain I get it. I have to do what I am passionate about and what will bring me joy. I will get my degree in exercise physiology and study explosion in sport movements. Ya happy now Mr. and Mrs. Therapist making Tibbs all getting his life together?
Go to hell! It was more comfortable when I had no ambition!
Anyone ever go through recovery
and go through this?
From some of your previous actions I would question if it were really more comfortable?
It is more comfortable to do nothing and never change anything. Before my suicide attempt and the following hospitalization I was happy to suck at my job, hate myself, play with the kids and hoped nothing ever happened or changed. It sucked but it was my familiar.
Now I am falling forward and unable to go back to my old trappings. I have this amazing desire to pick myself up and keep moving. It sounds and is great but I still not used to it and it is scaring the shit out of me.
It’s OK to be scared Tibbs. Life is more interesting that way! The mundane is acceptable, but living more on the edge makes it interesting. Hang in there and continued good luck on the recovery.