My father in law has a volume of debt that is beyond what anybody could pay in multiple lifetimes. If he sells his house he may get 20k net, but as he is a chronic liar its difficult to tell what his total debt is (probably > $250K, mostly credit cards).
Who can you approach about bankruptcy/counseling for a senior citizen, given that he has no money for an attorney (some soc. sec. income) and because of a history of defrauding family members is unlikely to get financial help even to get through this.
It’s like most things, you can’t do it for him, he’s got to want to do it himself. You can contact the attorneys for him and ask about their fees. He will have to come clean in the process of his lies. Lie in court, go to jail. Maybe he can come out of it with just lawyer fees, maybe not. Let the lawyer work that angle. Best of luck, but he’s the one who has to make the decision unless you have some kind of legal custody over him.
Is he actually unable to pay his monthly bills? Is he able to acknowledge the problem? Generally he has to do this himself, and it may be very hard to get him to admit the direness of his situation. Sorry about that …
He is still young enough to be capable of dealing with this himself, but his 4 kids (whom he never paid a dime of child support to help raise) feel they need sweep in and save him. Where it becomes my problem is if the kids decide we all are going to chip in and help the old man. I thought I had them all on the same page, but now one of them just paid his mortgage and another one of his credit card bills. Understandably they don’t want to see the worst of their dad, and are ignoring that his brother paid 40K to fix up their dads house, and then paid the mortgage for 3+ years while the old man didn’t get around to selling the house. The brother went broke (for a bunch of reasons) and history is about to repeat itself with the kids.
The rest of this story is way beyond what anyone would believe in a novel. The only good side is that possibly my bad is way worse than your bad, so hopefully this story can cheer you up.
but his 4 kids (whom he never paid a dime of child support to help raise) feel they need sweep in and save him.
Ouch, you all need to be in counseling. He needs to fix this (or take the steps in that direction), at which point you can be there to help him. You are all just enabling terrible behavior, with no hope of getting him to change. This happens way too often.
but his 4 kids (whom he never paid a dime of child support to help raise) feel they need sweep in and save him.
Ouch, you all need to be in counseling. He needs to fix this (or take the steps in that direction), at which point you can be there to help him. You are all just enabling terrible behavior, with no hope of getting him to change. This happens way too often.
Ouch is right. I’m not personally enabling him yet, other than paying off my wife’s student loan - which in a turn stranger than fiction is due to the old man convincing my wife that she needed to give her 10K in college money to him for safe-keeping (you can’t trust banks) and never returning it.
Depending on the state he lives in, its very possible to just say fuck it, and stop paying them. Basically the same thing as filing bankruptcy without the attorney fees. There are some states where an unsecured creditor has little to absolutely no recourse. In the end the only difference is that without BK, he will be hassled by collectors. But simply change your phone number and that solves about 90% of the hassle.
However, if he lives in a state that has tougher laws, then I would suggest you go through the yellow pages and find the cheapest attorney you can find. I think if you look abit, its possible to find an attorney that will handle everything for $1000. I know of a couple people that did the BK route and they were able to get it done in that price range.
I don’t know about your relationship with him, but it may well be worth it to front the $'s for him simply to get the problem done. I would assume this is causing stress for your wife. A stressed wife is generally not a willing wife. So in the end, spending the money will probably make your life better too.
He’s in Colorado, so I’ll check into it. If I believed fronting a grand would be the end of my financial involvement I would, but I suspect it would just lead to more requests.
He can request all he wants. Nothing makes you have to say yes. If you were to go that route, obviously there would have to be a come to jesus meeting where everybody (him, you and your wife) understand that this is the one and only time you will help out financially.
A simple Chapter 7, he will lose the house if behind, is $200 to file in court. You can find the forms at Office Depot or Staples for about $40. it is pretty simple and very straight forward. If he wants to keep the house, then he would have to file 13, and at that point I would get an attorney. Their fees would be placed in the 13 payments but that is a nightmare and I just don’t see your FIL completing it if he is as bad as you say.
There is no problem here…the system is simply working as designed. Your father-in-law is just doing his part to help Obama redistribute the wealth, that is all.
If he is a senior citizen, union (or former union), military (or retired) or even member of some of the fraternal organizations, there is access to free or reduced fee attorneys.
Sounds like he is fixed income and the bulk of the debt is consumer debt. Good news is this is a common situation. If he can qualify for a Chapter 7 BK, it is basically a walk away. Otherwise he gets a BK trustee assigned to him and he is put on a repayment plan for a max of 5 years and then the remaining unsecured debt (credit cards) are wiped out.
If there is little to no equity in the house, after sale expenses, he will likely be able to keep it as long as he makes the payments.
On the disfunctional family aspects, sorry to hear it but don’t alienate your wife over it. Good luck.
You’re giving an alcoholic a drink if you help him out financially. He’s proven he can’t be trusted, mismanages money, etc. I’d offer to sit down with him to go thru his bills, help him sell items to pay off debt, guide him the best you can, buy groceries from time to time, but that’s where it ends.
Sorry, tough love. BUT, you and your wife HAVE to be on the same page.
I had a similar situation with my ex-wife’s father. This was in the mid-90s so I am not sure how the new bankruptcy laws (i.e., credit card changes) will affect him. There is a $90k homestead exemption which is the difference between what the house is worth and what he owes on the mortgage. So he may be able to keep the house. There are also exemptions for cars, tools of the trade, etc.
If you read your own responses you will find the answer, this guy deserves no help. All you are doing is enabling him, bankruptcy is his easy way out which is typical of society today, no personal responsibility.
Yes, my wife is the one member of her family I particularly like, so no plans on alienating her. She’s come around and gets the whole enabling thing, its just a couple of the other siblings broke down because he pushed their buttons (you don’t want your dad, living in his car eating dog-food do you?).
Thanks for everyone’s input on the bankruptcy info, it was very helpful.
I know this is just venting but its amazing to me that one human could be such a spiteful, dishonest mean-old p.o.s. without any obvious addictions like alcohol, drugs or gambling to pass the blame on to.
If he is a senior citizen, union (or former union), military (or retired) or even member of some of the fraternal organizations, …
Sorry, this made me laugh. Other than being given a family business which he then sucked dry, and a house free and clear - by his dad, the man has not had a job his entire life so no union, no military, and because he barely paid into Social Security he doesn’t even get much back from them.
He is a senior citizen, but that’s just an accident of birth.