Because it is creepy! But good looking guys can get away with a lot more as long as they’re charming enough. But I’m a guy and haven’t understood women since I was 5 or 6, so take this advice for what it’s worth.
there is not much to understand:
if you compliment a woman and she finds you attractive = she is flattered
if you compliment a woman and she does not find you attractive = she finds you creepy
if somebody is working out they likely are ‘in the zone’ and the threshold of ‘you look attractive’ become a lot higher than, say, when said person is relaxed at a bar
given the above unless you are seriously genetically blessed (and if you were you wouldn’t be asking this question, because you’d be used to women not finding you creepy, so you’d just say what you have on your mind whenever), the odds of coming across as creepy are pretty high, therefore just don’t do it as nothing good can come out of it.
if you compliment a woman and she finds you attractive = she is flattered
if you compliment a woman and she does not find you attractive = she finds you creepy
if somebody is working out they likely are ‘in the zone’ and the threshold of ‘you look attractive’ become a lot higher than, say, when said person is relaxed at a bar
given the above unless you are seriously genetically blessed (and if you were you wouldn’t be asking this question, because you’d be used to women not finding you creepy, so you’d just say what you have on your mind whenever), the odds of coming across as creepy are pretty high, therefore just don’t do it as nothing good can come out of it.
I’m pretty sure the best solution to this and all other similar answers is… Yes- thats right
Every Health club and Gym needs a Bar. not a juice bar, or a cooler where you can buy your protein shakes… Gyms need booze, as being discussed in the Tri room- its a perfect recovery drink. problems solved. so whos gonna start that up?
I think it’s simple… if you compliment somebody, hottie or not, for really making an effort, you’ll come across a whole lot less creepy if one of them just turns out to be a hottie.
And, if she likes you, she’ll let you know… if not, forget about it.
As someone younger (27) around here, I would have NO problem with someone your age hitting on me. It’s when the ~50+'s get up in my grill that I have a problem.
I heard stories about you at the Womens’ training camp. Apparently, there is a park bench in Valyermo with your name (and imprint of your backside) on it.
You are entirely too much!
As to gym etiquette, and as a gym employee, congratulations for her hard work seem appropriate. She made a change for the better; it should be acknowledged.
People talk to me all the time when I am out running or at the pool. I get all sorts of comments about my fitness levels, comments about how good I look, my swimming progress, my weight(from women), questions about what I eat (again women). I’ve even been told by one of the women in my neighborhood that I should be in the Olympics I don’t recognize her, but apparently she always sees me running.
I don’t necessarily think it is bad to talk to her because it sounds like she has motivated you with her work ethic, not by her hotness. So if you make a genuine comment her work ethic and her fitness improvements then I can’t see her being offended by that.
An example for me is a guy that swims at the pool where I swim. He has been swimming there since I moved here almost 5 years ago. My swimming has improved dramatically and last year especially and this winter too. He has made comments a few time about how much he has seen me improve and how great a swimmer I am becoming. Things like that are totally acceptable.
Things that I don’t find acceptable–people, this has always been women, and often ones I barely know at the Y, asking me what I weigh, what I eat, if I eat. Really? I barely know you?
Guys, staring makes you seem creepy, don’t do it. Also, compliments on flexibility, don’t go there, it makes you seem perverted, even if your not. Nothing worse than having an old guy at the pool come up to you while your stretching “Wow, you sure are flexible” Or, even worse, the hs aged life guard gave me that one a few weeks ago, right before he asked what school I went to…ummm dude, I’m 29.
Sure seems a lot of folk in here are scared to speak to or be spoken to. Reckon I might as well weigh in.
I agree with those that have said to keep it light and focused on the hard work paying dividends. I’ve gotten compliments on that from men and women both and I tell ya, it feels good. It doesn’t seem creepy to have someone that’s seen me running, biking or working out in general lot say “you’re really getting strong, and it shows” or words to that effect. I’m ok with people I know, even peripherally, saying “you’re looking good” in a general sense or even tell me they noticed a weight loss.
What comes across as creepy is staring, ogling body parts other than the face and following or trying to (I had one dude on a bike try to follow me home. I call him “creepy ass-crack dude” due to the condition of his bike shorts).
So, my vote is that maybe as you’re leaving if she’s still on the elliptical or whatever, just say something like “you’ve really gotten a lot stronger this year. Good work!” and go on.
Sure seems a lot of folk in here are scared to speak to or be spoken to…
I know! Its kind of bumming me out. I would think that anybody going to the gym is doing so to improve their outward appearance, and it would seem logical that someone working on their outward appearance would dig a compliment on their outward appearance. I don’t know. With guys its easy. “Dude, you are getting ripped” or “Your chest is getting huge my man”. Its a different ball game dealing with women.
Don’t be bummed! I know I love getting those random compliments as long as they seem genuine.
How to go about it: In the fall I was swimming 5 days a week and was feeling comfortable in the water for the first time in a LONG time. A little old guy stopped me on my way out of the gym and said (obviously not a native english speaker) “You swim good. Very pretty. How long you swim? How do I swim like you?” Although that meant he had been staring at me in a swimsuit, I was flattered and gave him the typical tips to find a local masters group or a YMCA. It also gave me a little extra motivation to get to the pool in the early AM for quite a while.
How not to go about it: A PI that had been helping me with my qualifying exam told a friend of mine that he had been going to the gym in the morning because the “scenery in the pool is so nice.” I am the only female that swims during the times when he goes to the gym. As he is married and a superior (and apparently has been threatened with a sexual harassment suit in the past), I was pretty creeped out and switched to swimming at noon.
I second what Sabrekitty said about dropping a simple compliment as you are leaving. Done right, it will make her morning/afternoon.
I was pretty creeped out and switched to swimming at noon.
that’s what I don’t understand about women, why would you care so much about what other people think and actually change the time you go to the pool? I couldn’t care less if somebody was checking me out or not (and swimming at the Y downtown it has happened plenty of times to get looks in the shower from other guys for example).
Must be the same logic that several gals I know have, who will not run alone in a park regardless, when the odds of something bad happening are much lower than the odds of being run over by a car when crossing the street (probably the same odds as a ‘creep’ checking you out turning out to be an axe murderer or something).
Normally I wouldn’t have, but there was a little more to that story …he had been texting me a lot and kept sending me e-mails inviting me out for drinks at the end of the week. Switching my swimming time was convenient, and I felt that if I stopped replying to his texts/e-mails and didn’t run into him at the gym I could diffuse the situation pretty quickly. It worked.
Post:
“Your chest is getting huge my man”
Do me a favor and say this to a chick sometime. Include the “my man”. I just wanna know what happens
I laughed for a long time from that D!
I would think that anybody going to the gym is doing so to improve their outward appearance, and it would seem logical that someone working on their outward appearance would dig a compliment on their outward appearance.
Because if a woman gets attacked the consequences are generally much higher than a man. Odds are the guy will be larger and if he is a real scumbag rape is a distinct possibility. Men will likely get beat up. While that sucks, getting beat up then raped is worse.
Honestly, women who want to get hit on at they gym make is pretty darn obvious. If she is wearing make-up, not sweating too much, her hair looks great and her workout clothes are cute and vaguely inapprioprite, feel free to ask her out.
If I am on the tmill sweating like a pig, wearing a ratty shirt and old shorts, likely I’m there for the same reasons as tc, to get faster or lose weight for my health.
